


Coming Home

by Hetty147



Category: Twilight (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Human, Drug Abuse, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2020-10-21 17:36:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 52,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20697404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hetty147/pseuds/Hetty147
Summary: Jasper and Rosalie have been separated after their parents died. Rosalie got adopted by the Cullens but she is missing her twin badly. But will he be the same one after living through years of abuse and neglect?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Twilight fanfiction. It's an all human universe and the story focuses on Jasper for the most part. Carlisle and Esme are about 30 years old, Edward and Alice are 16 years old and the other 3 are 17 years old.

Chapter 1  
Carlisle POV

There was a soft knock on the door leading to my office.

  
"Carlisle, we have to go in ten minutes" Esme said slightly nervously. I didn't want her to be. I wanted to tell her that there was no reason to be nervous, that everything would turn out fine. But I would be lying if I said that I wasn't feeling the same. I nodded and gave her a small smile.

  
I had to admit, life never got boring when you have a house full of teenagers. Esme and I are still pretty young and people often wonder why we adopted 3 and since 2 months 4 teenagers.

  
Edward was the first one. We adopted him 3 years ago after his mother, Esme's sister, died after being sick for a long time. He had nowhere else to go so even though we were only 26 years old we welcomed him as a son.

  
One year later Esme heard about 2 children whose parents died in a car crash. That's how Alice and Emmett came into our life. At first, we were just looking after them until they found a family that would adopt them, but we soon grew attached. Alice is the same age as Edward and Emmett is one year older.

  
Two months ago, our family was joined by a new member. Rosalie was a stunning girl. She finally fulfilled Alice's wish for an older sister and seemed to fit into our family perfectly. The only problem was that she was very quiet, cold and reserved. She wasn't as open as our other children and she always seemed alone, like someone was missing.

  
Emmett managed to get her to open up a bit, but I could see that she wasn't truly comfortable. She seemed like she didn't want to raise attention, like she was trying to be as good as possible. It was understandable. She had been in foster care for 5 years now and according to her social worker she never spent more than 9 months in one foster family.

  
After a few weeks Esme came into my office.

  
"You have to talk to her. She is so distant, and I don't want her to be lonely. She's a sweet girl, I know it. We just have to give her the feeling that she's welcome here."

  
"I know. Maybe if all of us sit down with her she may tell us what's bothering her."

  
"It won't hurt to try. I'll text Edward to tell Alice and Emmett that we'll be talking tonight after dinner."

  
After dinner we all set down in the living room. Rosalie looked anxious to say the least.

  
“Am I in trouble?”, she asked quietly.

  
“No! You did nothing wrong.”, Esme smiled, and she nodded looking a bit calmer.

  
"Rosalie", I said while I took Esme's hand "We are worried about you. You don't seem to be happy here with us."

  
"I am happy here…", she said quietly. I looked at my wife a little uncertain. Rosalie didn't seem like she meant it

  
"I'm glad you are, sweetheart but you are so distant. Carlisle and I have the feeling that you are missing something here. Is there anything we can do? We already love you and we don't want to lose you.", Esme said in her gentle motherly voice. Rosalie looked at her hands in her lap.

  
"If you think they're going to be mad if you tell them whatever it is, you're holding back, I can tell you, you're wrong." Edward said. Rosalie looked into his eyes for a few second and took a deep breath.

  
"It's not that I don't like you, I really do. I am happy here and I want to stay with you, but I am missing someone. I miss my brother." She started to cry, and Emmett put here arm around her shoulders to comfort her. I exchanged a look with Esme.

  
"You have a brother? I was told you are an only child."

  
"I was told not to mention him. They say he's difficult. That's why they separated us. But I thought they told you about him. That's why I didn't say anything. I had no idea how you would take it that I want to see him." She was crying freely now. "Every time I asked my foster family about him, they sent me away. I don't know what they heard about him but whatever it is it's not his fault."

  
"What does difficult even mean? I mean what gives them the right to separate siblings?" Emmett was angry now as he looked at Alice.

  
"We're twins." Rosalie whispered. We all sat in silence for a few moments after that.

  
"Seriously? You can't just separate twins! How can they justify that?" Emmett was nearly screaming now, and Rosalie was sobbing. Esme gave him a stern look and he calmed down a bit.

  
"They say he's dangerous. He punched our first foster father, but I know that he would never hurt someone without having a good reason."

  
"He was protecting you, wasn't he.", Alice said. It wasn’t a question. We all knew the answer. Rosalie only nodded. Esme let go of my hand and knelt in front of her. She took both of her hands and squeezed them slightly.

  
"I promise you that we will find your brother and that we won't send you away. Sweetheart, you just have to tell us his name." Rosalie smiled and took the tissue Alice gave her.

  
"His name is Jasper Hale."

  
It took 2 weeks of terrorizing social services with phone calls and threatening with a lawsuit until they finally gave us the address of Jasper's current foster family. Rosalie finally started opening to us. Although she still was a bit quiet, she smiled more often. She was worried though. Worried that her brother didn't want to stay with her since they haven't been able to see each other for years. Alice was able to comfort her.

  
"Don't worry. I know that he will stay. I just have a feeling." That didn't completely stop her from worrying but she seemed more optimistic.

  
"Carlisle, we have to go now!" Esme pulled me out of my thinking. As I walked down the stairs to meet Esme at the car Rosalie sat down in the living room looking at her hands again.

  
"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Esme asked her. She shook her head.

  
"No, I'll wait for you here. I don't want to force him to see me. He should have the opportunity to make this decision himself." I smiled at her and nodded. I knew she was a good kid. 

  
It was a 2-hour drive from Forks to Aberdeen and Esme got more anxious the closer we got. 

  
"What if he really doesn't want to come with us? Rosalie would be heartbroken." I took her hand and squeezed it.

  
"We can't force him to do anything and Rosalie doesn't want that either. She said so herself. Don't worry too much."

  
The house Jasper was living was small and desperately needed some work. According to social services 6 people are supposed to live there. I gave Esme a questioning look as we walked up to the front door. After knocking we were greeted by a tall woman with a cigarette in her mouth.

  
"What?" She snapped. I looked at Esme and took a deep breath.

  
"Hello. My name is Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife Esme. We…"

  
"I'm not interested in your god. Leave my property before I have to call the police." The women interrupted us and made to close the door. I put my foot in to stop her and stopped her.

  
"We don't want to sell you anything and we don't want to you to join some religion. We are looking for Jasper Hale. We were told he is staying here." She sighed and opened the door and motioned us to follow her.

  
"What did he do this time? Let me tell you this boy is nothing but trouble." The house didn't look any better on the inside than it did on the outside. It was dirty and garbage as lying around on the floor. She led us to the back of the house and stopped in front of a door with 2 locks on it. While unlocking them she said, "He's in there have a time out." Before she could open the door I stopped her.

  
"We are not here because Jasper has done something. We recently adopted his twin Rosalie and she was desperately wishing to see him. I was wondering if he could come with us to Forks for a few days to catch up with her. I can assure you that he will be perfectly fine in our care." The women raised her eyebrows and snorted.

  
"His twin? I didn't know that brat even had a sibling. You can do with him whatever you want. If you take him, trust me you don't want to keep him." With that she opened the door and left us alone.

  
The room was tiny. It had one small window with bars in front of it. There was hardly anything in it besides a cupboard and a bed on which a boy was lying with his eyes closed listening to music with headphones. He was thin but he couldn't look more alike with Rosalie if he tried. Although his hair was a bit darker his face was definitely the same.

  
I cleared my throat to get his attention and immediately regretted it. Jasper jumped and ripped out his headphones while he scooped back on the back until his back was against the wall. Esme threw me a stern look and took one step towards him.

  
"Jasper my name is Esme and this is Carlisle, my husband. We were looking for you because we recently adopted your sister." Her voice was quiet and gentle. Jasper eyed us uncertainly and swallowed.

  
"Rosalie was adopted?" was all he said though.

  
"Yes, she joined our family about two months ago. She is missing you very much and we promised her that we would find you." I said. He was now looking at his hands and I just had to smile. Rosalie did the exact same thing when she was anxious. 

  
"She does?" His voice was so small it broke my heart. Esme sat down on the bed next to him and made to touch his knees which he had drawn up to his chest. He flinched when she touched him and curled up even more. Esme looked at me desperately before she spoke again very quietly.

  
"Yes, sweetheart she does. Very much. We came here to ask you if you want to come with us to meet her." At that his head shot up and uncurled himself.

  
"Is she here? Did she come with you?" He was looking at the door expecting Rosalie to come into the room. Esme came to stand next to me again.

  
"No sweetie I'm sorry. She didn't want to force you into meeting her and thought that maybe you didn't want to. She stayed at home, but she is hoping that you'll come with us for a few days to catch up with her."

  
"Oh…" He looked at me again as if he was trying to determine if I was a threat. "How do I know that's not setup?"

  
I had to think for a few seconds.

  
"I could call her and let her talk to you. Would that be enough?" Jasper nodded and I took out my phone. Rosalie picked up after the first ring.

  
"_Did you find him?_"

  
"Yes, Rosalie we found him. He's standing next to me at the moment. He wants to talk to you."

  
"_He does?_" He hummed my conformation and gave the phone to the boy next to me. He nearly ripped it from my hand and pushed it against his ear.

  
"Rose?" His voice was still quiet but not as insecure as before. I took Esme's hand and we left the room to give him some privacy. A few minutes later he came out of the room and handed me back my phone.

  
"Alright I believe you. I guess Maria doesn't care if I go with you?" Oh, so that was her name. I shook my head and he nodded and went back into the room only to come back out with a bag 20 seconds later. I looked at Esme wondering how he packed so quickly. Jasper shrugged having seen our faces.

  
"I move around a lot. I'm just prepared." Esme made a choking sound and quickly left the house.

  
"I'll meet you outside in 5 minutes if that's okay." Jasper said. I nodded and took his bag and waited for him on the porch. Exactly 5 minutes later Jasper closed the front door behind him and we went towards the car.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story will mostly be told from Carlisle's or Jasper's POV.   
WARNING: verbal and physical abuse, drinking, drug use and language

Chapter 2

Jasper POV

I was lying on the carpet in Charlottes room reading as I did every day after school. I usually helped her with her homework, and she let me stay there for the rest of the day until we all had to go to bed as an exchange. The girls, Charlotte and Annetta were the only ones who had to share their room. Me and Peter on the other hand had both our own rooms. I would immediately move in with Peter because everything was better than the tiny broom chamber, I called bedroom.

Maria would never allow that of course. Ever since I came here almost a year ago, I have been counting the days until I was 18. Peter and I actually started counting the days until we were both allowed to leave. At first, I tried everything to get away. Usually my foster parents were sending me back to social services as soon as I got in trouble.

So, after 2 weeks at Maria's of being insulted and screamed at constantly I started to get in trouble on purpose for the first time in my life. But much to my surprise Maria didn't send me away. But she still made sure to punish me.

At first, she just locked me up. But after a short time, her boyfriend Jim got bored and made up his own punishments for made up crimes I apparently committed. It was months later that me and Peter figured that she probably didn't want us to tell social services about her treatment. My teachers didn't care, I was known as the messed-up kid from foster care and no one believed me when he tried to tell them.

I could handle that though. I have had enough abusive foster parents to know how to block it out. It was Peter I was worried about. Peter was still innocent, he still believed in the good in people. Peter didn't deserve to be treated like that.

The girls on the other hand were safe. They were not physically abused. Of course, I still worried about them, but they were going to be fine in the end which might be because they practically never got in trouble. And Jim also didn’t have the same perverse interest in them as he did in me or Peter.

I was fine with taking the blame for everything as long as that meant that Jim didn’t touch Peter.

Peter came into the room with a huge grin on his face and I gave Charlotte and worried glance. She shrugged.

"Here we go…" She got up and started to leave the room, "I'll just go and I don't know anything you two are doing and I don't want to." I sat up and closed my book while Peter stared to bounce on his feet.

"Peter what did you do?" I asked while I got to my feet. I was only 2 months older than Peter but I was still a head taller than him.

"I need to show you something. I promise you're gonna like it." The last part was some sort of singsong Peter always uses when he gets excited and it usually got us in trouble. Peter took my arm and dragged me out of the house and into the backyard. We slipped through the hole in the fence and sat down on the ground behind it, our backs leaning on it. I waited expectantly while Peter pulled out a bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag and pushed it into my hands. I raised an eyebrow.

"Whiskey? What's so special about that?" We sometimes got drunk behind the fence when we both had a particularly bad day. It's truly fascinating what some shop owners would sell you if you know what to say to them.

"Not the whiskey, idiot! I nearly got it" His whole arm was now inside the backpack and I rolled my eyes. I had told Peter to clean up in there a few times now. With a triumphant "Aha!", Peter pulled out a cigarette box. I again raised an eyebrow. We both started smoking a few years back, before we even knew each other. Peter rolled his eyes, opened the box and pulled out a joint.

Now I was interested. We hardly got their hands on some weed for the simple reason that we couldn't afford it. Peter smirked at me now.

"Great right? I bought it from Jackson from biology. Well didn't buy it, I exchanged it for my finished homework and my lighter so we gotta use yours."

"You do realize that Maria is gonna kill us, right?", I asked while he pulled out my lighter from my pocket. It was a fancy silver one my father gave me before he passed away. "I can't always protect you." Peter shrugged as he took a big gulp from the bottle.

"She doesn't have to find out." I laughed and lit up the joint.

"Yeah because that usually works so well now doesn't it", I said while I playfully shoved him. I took the first draw and put my arm around Peter's shoulders pulling him closer.

"Happy Birthday brother."

Two hours later the bottle was empty, the joint smoked and the two of us were absolutely wasted. We were currently laughing about Peters re-enactment of Charlottes face when she got angry at us when we heard our names being called from the house.

"Shit! What's the time?" I asked while jumped to my feet and kicked the bottle away under the bushes.

"Uhm… I think about 8 pm maybe." Peter said while he slowly got to his feet.

"Fuck Peter we were supposed to be inside half an hour ago!" I crawled through the hole and immediately regretted it when I saw Maria standing in the backdoor, eyebrows raised and face twisted in an angry snarl. I turned around towards Peter and whispered into his ear.

"Let me do the talking, you know I'm better than you at pretending to be sober." Peter only nodded. We slowly made our way toward the house while Marie came down the steps into the backyard.

"What have you two fuck ups been doing back there?" I swallowed down the lump that has been forming in my throat.

"Nothing ma'am. Just talking. It's Peters Birthday and we just had some fun." Maria grabbed my ear and pulled me down until my face was directly in front of hers.

"Fun? I know what you two do for fun and it's never something good." Her eyes narrowed as she leaned in closer and took a deep breath. I tensed and tried my best to pull away, but she only pulled harder on my ear.

"What is that smell? Go on tell me." No one said a word and Maria let go of my ear. She took a step back a yelled for her boyfriend to come out into the backyard. I wanted to throw up and every cell in my body screamed for me to run away. Jim appeared in the door with and lit cigarette in his mouth which was almost always there. Maria turned around and smirked at him.

"These two little fuckers have been smoking weed. And I bet that's not all they've been doing, isn't that right sweetheart?" She turned around and brushed her hand down Peters cheek while she said the last part. I had to swallow again.

"Oh, did they now?", Jim asked in a mocking voice as he came down the stairs.

"Which of you had that brilliant idea?" I looked at Peter who looked like he was going to vomit any moment now. I swallowed one last time and looked directly into Jim’s eyes.

"I did.", I said. Peter started to protest but I cut him off. "It was my idea. I bought it and I made Peter smoke it with me." Jim smiled and I wanted to run. The adult grabbed my arm and started to pull me into the house. I desperately tried to fight him off but had no chance against the strong hold of the older man.

"Maria please! Peter didn't do anything I promise! Please Maria!" I yelled as I was dragged into the house.

"Oh, don't worry I won't punish him for buying it. But he still took part, didn't he?" I was close to tears now and tried with all my strength to get to my brother. I could nearly feel the dread that was building inside the other boy. Before I was pulled into the house, I yelled a last apology and gave up fighting.

Jim threw me onto the floor in my tiny prison. He pulled back his foot and then kicked me into the stomach hard enough to make me whimper.

"Get up you little piece of shit!" I slowly got to his feet. I knew that if I didn't do as told I would just make everything worse. Jim pushed me onto the bed and sat down on my feet. He opened his belt and slowly took it off while he bent down and whispered into my ear. Already I could feel Jim’s bulge pressed against my ass. I swallowed down bile.

"I know you've been lying. You are a fucking liar and not even a good one. You deserve every bit of what's coming." He got back up and pulled up my shirt revealing my back.

The first whip was always the worst. I tried my best to block out the pain, to keep in the screams. But unlike the other times Jim didn't stop after a few times. Instead the just started to whip me harder until I could help it anymore. I screamed and struggled and begged for him to stop. After what seemed like an eternity Jim stopped. He bent down again and whispered

"You like smoking? Do you want a cigarette? Oh, I bet you do. I'll give you one." I didn't dare to move. I could hear Jim lighting his cigarette but was too scared to even breath. And then Jim pushed the burning cigarette onto my back. I screamed and started to struggle but the man sat down on my legs again. He did that after every draw he had until he had finished the cigarette. After that he left the room and I could hear the locks on this door being locked. Only now I started to cry.

It's been two days since Peters birthday and I was only allowed to leave the room to shower once. I was currently laying on his bed listening to music and trying to focus on other things than the pain in my back. Sighing I closed his eyes and tried to sleep a bit. It's not like there was anything else I could do.

A sound suddenly startled me and I quickly ripped out his headphones and scooped back on the bed until I was pressed against the wall. I didn't know the people who were standing in my room and I didn't trust them. The woman threw the man a stern look and took one step towards me.

"Jasper my name is Esme and this is Carlisle, my husband. We were looking for you because we recently adopted your sister." Although her voice was quiet and gentle, I eyed them uncertainly and swallowed. I didn't know if I should believe them. I couldn't believe that Rose would be looking for me.

"Rosalie was adopted?" was all I said.

"Yes, she joined our family about two months ago. She is missing you very much and we promised her that we would find you.", the man said. I was looking at my hands as I tried to make sense of what the two people were saying. Did that mean that my sister didn't hate me?

"She does?" I didn't dare to ask more. Esme sat down on the bed next to me and made to touch my knees which I had drawn up to my chest. I flinched when she touched me and curled up even more. I still didn't trust the women. Although she looked very nice and gentle, I learned in my time in foster care that women can be as cruel as men.

"Yes, sweetheart she does. Very much. We came here to ask you if you want to come with us to meet her." My head shot up. Rose wanted to see me? Did she come with them? I suddenly didn't care if they were going to hurt me anymore.

"Is she here? Did she come with you?" I was looking at the door expecting Rosalie to come into the room. The women went back to stand next to her husband.

"No sweetie I'm sorry. She didn't want to force you into meeting her and thought that maybe you didn't want to. She stayed at home, but she is hoping that you'll come with us for a few days to catch up with her."

"Oh…" I looked at the man sceptically trying to tell if he was telling the truth. "How do I know that's not setup?" He was silent for a few moments.

"I could call her and let her talk to you. Would that be enough?" I nodded and tried to push away the hope that had started to build up inside me. If they lied, I couldn't let myself be disappointed again.

"Yes, Rosalie we found him. He's standing next to me at the moment. He wants to talk to you." The man said after a few seconds and I practically ripped the phone out of his hand.

"Rose?" I asked.

_"Jasper they found you! Oh god I missed you so much"_

"I missed you too, Rose.", I could see the couple leaving my room and the immediately seemed nicer for giving me some privacy. "Rose did they tell me the truth? Do you want to see me?" I braced myself for the rejection that had to come at some point.

_"Yes of course I want to see you! You are my brother and I've missed you!"_ She sounded disappointed that I would think they were lying.

"You don't hate me?" I asked quietly.

_"What the fuck Jasper? Of course not! Why would you think that?"_ Before I could even answer she cut me off. _"You know what, that can wait. Just go with Esme and Carlisle and hurry up. I can't wait to see you again."_ I smiled at her bossy tone of voice.

"Yes ma'am. I'll be there." I hung up the phone and went outside to give it back to Carlisle.

"Alright I believe you. I guess Maria doesn't care if I go with you?" He shook his head and I went back into the room to get my bag. When I met them in the hall again, they both looked like someone punched them in the stomach. They stared at the bag and I sighed.

"I move around a lot. I'm just prepared." The woman made a choking sound and quickly left the house. I frowned and looked after her.

"I'll meet you outside in 5 minutes if that's okay.", I said. The man nodded and left the house. I swallowed and moved towards Peters room. I didn't bother to knock; I was sure he listened to the whole conversation. I was right.

"So, you are leaving?", he asked. I went to sit next to him on the bed and pulled out my lighter.

"You know I doubt that they would want to keep me. We'll definitely going to see each other again." I said as I gave the lighter to Peter. He looked at me with big eyes. "Just take it as a late birthday present" I said and hugged him quickly.

I closed the front door behind me and went toward the fancy looking Mercedes that parked in front of the house without looking back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are much appreciated as always. Thank you for reading. Until next time


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Carlisle POV

The ride back to Forks was tense to say the least. Jasper didn't talk and when Esme or I asked something or tried to start a conversation we would only get short answers. He just stared out of the window or was looking at his hands. 

I knew that Esme was getting more worried by the minute and that was the last thing I wanted her to be. The mother in her probably wanted to hug him until he came out of his shell but we both saw how he reacted to being touched. He just sat on the backseat, his face expressionless and stared out of the window. His back was straight as if he had swallowed a broomstick. It seemed liked he did his best not to let himself relax. Esme could see that as well.

It was remarkable how similar Jasper was to his sister. Both of them would build up those walls around them and I had a really hard time to read them. My only hope was that once the twins were reunited, they would open up more. 

Rosalie already talked more, and I had to give Emmett credit for that. Still I wanted her to be truly happy with us. To feel at home. And maybe, hopefully, Jasper was the one who could achieve that.

But the boy was a mystery to me. Social services warned me to be careful with him since he apparently was a violent person. I knew about the first incident, when he hit his first foster father, but Rosalie said he was protecting her. But apparently that wasn't his only offence. According to the social worker I talked to, he repeatedly got in fights at school, has been drinking under age or argued with his teachers. I don't know how much of that is actually true but the boy that was sitting in the back of my car didn't look dangerous in any way. And the way he reacted when Esme and I first met him worried me deeply. It was obvious that Jasper didn't have the best experience with adults. I just hoped that the damage done wasn't too big.

I sighed and took Esme's hand. Only time would show. But I wanted to show him that he could relax, that he could trust us.

"So, Jasper, do you have any hobbies?", I asked keeping my voice light.

"Uhm, not really I guess." As always, his voice was quiet. He was looking at his hands again and Esme tried not to sigh at another short answer. I squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Now come on. There has to be something you enjoy doing." I definitely wasn't about to let him off that easily. Jasper shrugged and shifted in his seat.

"I like to read and listen to music." That sparked my interest.

"Oh, you like books? We've got a small library at home. You can take a look and read something if you like to." Jasper gave me a small smile and nodded.

"Thank you, sir."

"Carlisle is fine and I'm sure you can call Esme by her given name as well.", I corrected him. Esme smiled.

"Yes absolutely, Jasper. I would like it if you called me Esme." He nodded and turned his head to look back out of the window.

"Are you nervous about seeing Rosalie again?", Esme asked. Jasper tensed up and swallowed before he answered.

"Yes, I'm nervous. But I'm also very looking forward to finally seeing her again." I had to smile. That's the most emotion he had shown since he got into the car. Esme smiled as well.

"I'm sure you missed her very much. She probably told you but let me tell you anyway, she missed you very much as well. She was so happy when we told her that we found you. I bet she can't wait for us to get home." She has turned around in her seat and was smiling at him now. He was looking at his hands again but raised his head to smile at her. It was a forced smile though, as if he was trying to be as polite as possible.

"Well she won't have to wait much longer. We'll be there in 10 minutes.", I said while giving him a reassuring smile through the rear-view mirror. Jasper nodded and went to look back out of the window.

It was raining slightly in Forks when we arrived at the house as it did so often in early October. I got out of the car and stood next to Esme in front of the front door as we waited for Jasper to catch up on us. He had the hood of his hoodie drawn up and his bag on his shoulder. He didn't have his expressionless mask anymore. No, he looked downright anxious now. I took his bag and Esme opened the door.

"Rosalie is probably in her room with Alice.", Esme said smiling. She was excited now I could tell. Jasper had a questioning look on his face as she mentioned Alice. Then it hit me. We didn't mention any of our other children to him. I instantly felt bad.

"Alice is our other daughter.", I explained "She and her brother Emmett came to us about 2 years ago and Edward one year before that." Jasper nodded his understanding and looked, if possible, even more anxious than before. As we got into the living room Esme called for Rosalie to come down there. We heard her before we could see her. She came running down the stairs and for a moment I was scared she would fall.

"Jasper!", she yelled and threw herself at him to hug him. Jasper tensed but after a few seconds he relaxed and hugged his sister back. Rosalie was crying and clinging to her brother, her feet not even touching the ground.

"I've missed you so much, Jasper!" He was talking to her, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I smiled as I took Esme hand. She was squeezing it as she sniffed a bit. 

By then our other children had gathered in the living room. Emmett grinning like a kid who just got a new toy. Alice was curious but she too was smiling brightly. The only one who didn't look happy was Edward. I frowned at him and he quickly looked away. 

Rosalie was now standing next to her brother crying and smiling at the same time. He smiled back at her, the first genuine smile I saw from him. He was taller than her, but they looked so alike that even a blind person could tell they were twins. No one said a word. Jasper and Rosalie were only looking at each other and it seemed like no words were needed. Until Alice, with her bubbly persona broke the comfortable silence.

"Are you hungry? Rosie and I cooked.", she said excited. Jasper looked at her and smiled the second real smile.

"I'm starving. I've missed Rosie's cooking skills.", he put emphasis on the nickname Alice used for Rosalie. I decided to take the opportunity of Jasper being more relax and started to introduce the rest of the family.

"Jasper these are Alice and her older brother Emmett. And over here we have Edward." Alice and Emmett both smiled at Jasper and greeted him friendly, but Edward didn't. Instead he just nodded towards Jasper and the two shared a look. Edward raised his eyebrows and Jasper tensed up. I gave Edward a stern look. Suddenly the atmosphere was tense and I could see Rosalie looking at Jasper worriedly.

"What did you two cook? Please tell me you made spaghetti!" I silently thanked Emmet for bringing back the attention to the dinner the girls had prepared. Alice laughed and started to walk towards the kitchen with Emmett. Rosalie though, was still looking at Jasper who was looking at Edward. I suddenly feared that maybe Jasper would lash out and start a fight, but he didn't. Instead he looked down on Rosalie and pretended as if nothing happened. To be fair, nothing did happen, but I was definitely going to talk to Edward later that night.

"Did you make spaghetti?", Jasper asked as we all walked into the dining room. Rosalie nodded and started to help Alice with the plates.

"Do you remember the pasta grandma used to make? Mom gave me the recipe and I thought that you probably didn't have it a quite a while." Rosalie gave him a sad smile as she sat down at the table and motioned Jasper to sit next to her. He didn't move and looked at me with big questioning eyes.

"Take a seat, Jasper." Apparently, he had waited for that as he sat down and continued talking to his sister. Alice came in with the dinner and everyone started to fill their plates. Rosalie, having noticed Jaspers reluctance to help himself simply took his plate and filled it. We all started to eat in comfortable silence.

"Edward why didn't you invite Bella over for dinner? I thought since it is a Friday night Charlie wouldn't say no.", Esme asked after we all finished our meal. Edward threw a quick glance at Jasper before answering.

"I wanted to but then I thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. There are already too many people here without any visitors and besides, I didn't want to steal the stoplight." He said the last bit to Rosalie who was looking at him angrily. Jasper tensed up started to breath faster. His face has lost a bit of colour.

"Edward!", she gasped. I gave him a stern looked and so did Esme. 

"Edward no one is standing in the spotlight and you will apologize to your sister! If you can't behave you will have to go up to your room for the rest of the evening.", Esme said in strict voice. Edward held her gaze for a few seconds before he stood up and left the room without another word. I went to go after him, but Esme stopped me.

"Just let him cool down a bit. We'll talk to him later."

"Jasper I am so sorry about my son! He normally is a very polite boy. I don't know why he said that.", I apologized. Jasper nodded but I wasn't entirely sure he heard what I said. He was looking at my hands again and Rosalie was looking furious. Alice and Emmett were silent and I was trying to come up with a way to lighten the mood. Esme did that though before I could even open my mouth.

"Why don't show Jasper were he's going to sleep tonight, Rosalie? Carlisle and I will do the dishes." She nodded and took Jaspers hand. They both left the ding room and Emmett pulled Alice into the living room talking about some video game. Esme and I worked silently at first for a few minutes.

"What do you think Edward wanted to tell us?", she asked eventually handing me a plate to dry.

"I don't know. I will talk to him later tonight, but he will have to apologize. Not just to Rosalie but definitely to Jasper."

"Did you see how tense he was? What if social services are correct and he's a time bomb? I don't want our children to get hurt." Esme sounded so worried. I wanted to tell her that he wouldn't hurt anyone but to be honest, I wasn't too sure about that either. Maybe Edward was worried as well, maybe that's why he didn't want Bella to come. He was the only one I told about the things I heard from social services besides Esme and if he did believe them, it would explain is behaviour. It would explain it but that still didn't mean it was acceptable. I would defiantly have to talk to him. And maybe a long talk with Jasper wouldn't hurt either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :) please leave a comment and tell me what you thought


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jasper POV

The house was huge. These people probably really had money. I felt a bit bad for not really talking to them in the car, but I couldn't let myself grew too attached. I knew that I had to go back after the weekend and separating from Rose again would be hard enough. I could tell that they were nice people.

I didn't trust them completely yet, but Esme I definitely liked. Dr Cullen seemed nice but still, he was the authority figure here and I didn't have any good experiences with those. I drew up my hood to keep the rain out and took a deep breath. Rosalie was in there. I felt sick. What if she wouldn't forgive me? What if she hated me? The rational part of my brain told me that that probably wasn't the case, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I always wanted to see her again after they took me away from her. They never let me. They wouldn't tell me where she was, if she was okay or if she missed me. And now that she was so close, I just wanted to run for the hills. Still I got out of the car and met the Cullens at the front door. Dr Cullen took my bag and I followed Esme into the house.

"Rosalie is probably in her room with Alice.", Esme said with a smile. I froze in my tracks and looked at Dr Cullen. He frowned and then his eyes widened. I could nearly see the 'oh shit' written across his forehead. Though I was pretty sure Dr Cullen would never use that kind of language, at least not in the presence of other people.

"Alice is our other daughter. She and her brother Emmett came to us about 2 years ago and Edward one year before that.", he explained. Great, more people. Now I really wanted to run. But my feet followed Esme further into the house. She called for Rosalie and the next thing I knew was her running down the stairs and jumped right at me. I didn't expect that and tensed up. I had to hold back a hiss when she touched one of the wounds from Jim's punishment. They didn't start to heal yet. It took a few seconds for me to relax and I hugged her bag. I felt her crying and hugged her even more tightly.

I knew she said something when she came running at me, but I didn't even hear her. All that mattered was that she was now in my arms and I couldn't help but mumbling "I'm sorry" over and over again into her ear. I didn't care about anything else in that moment. She didn't hate me! In fact, she was clinging at me and her feet didn't touch the ground. All too soon she let go me and went to stand next to me. She was so beautiful. She looked like mom and the smile that she gave me made me feel like everything would be fine. No one said a word until an unfamiliar voice pulled me back into the present.

"Are you hungry? Rosie and I cooked.", a petite girl said excited. She looked a bit like a pixie with her large eyes and short black hair. She was absolutely gorgeous. I smiled at her.

"I'm starving. I've missed Rosie's cooking skills." Rosie was a great nickname and I could tell that my sister didn't like it one bit.

"Jasper these are Alice and her older brother Emmett. And over here we have Edward.", Dr Cullen introduced the three teenagers that had gathered in the living room. Alice and what had to be her brother judging by the looks both smiled at me. Emmett was gigantic. If not for his face you wouldn't think he was the brother of the small, pretty pixie. He still looked very much like a child though and for some reason he reminded me of Peter.

Edward wasn't smiling. He didn't like me that much was obvious. His green eyes pierced themselves into mine and I felt strangely naked under his gaze. He raised an eyebrow and I tensed up. I have seen this look so many times over the years and I learned to hate it. This judging look of a spoilt child. Rosalie was looking at me with worried eyes.

"What did you two cook? Please tell me you made spaghetti!" The big guy, Emmett, broke the tension that had built up in the room. Alice laughed and started to walk towards the kitchen with him following her. I still couldn't stop looking at Edward. Rosalie pulled on my sleeve and I looked into her eyes. She didn't want us to fight, not that I had that in mind. So, I did what I thought was right and pretended that nothing was wrong. I followed her into the dining room.

"Did you make spaghetti?", I asked. Rosalie nodded and started to help Alice with the plates.

"Do you remember the pasta grandma used to make? Mom gave me the recipe and I thought that you probably didn't have it a quite a while." Rosalie gave me a sad smile. I did remember them. Grandma always made them when we came to visit when we were still children. I can't remember the last time I had them. Rose sat down at the table and motioned me to sit next to her. I didn't move though. I didn't want to be rude and as long as Dr Cullen didn't want me to sit down I wouldn't.

"Take a seat, Jasper.", Dr Cullen said with a frown. I sat down but made sure my hurting back didn't touch anything. Did I do something wrong? Was it rude to wait? I kept thinking about my behaviour and the way Edward looked at me while I talked to Rosalie about our grandma's cooking. Alice came in with the dinner and everyone started to fill their plates. I didn't know what to do. Would it be rude to just fill mine or would it be rude if didn't? Rosalie took the decision from me buy taking my plate and filling it for me. I gave her a small smile and started eating.

"Edward why didn't you invite Bella over for dinner? I thought since it is a Friday night Charlie wouldn't say no.", Esme asked after we finished eating in silence. I had no idea who Bella was but judging by the look Edward threw at me before answering she probably was his girlfriend.

"I wanted to but then I thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. There are already too many people here without any visitors and besides, I didn't want to steal the stoplight." He said the last bit directly to Rosalie who was looking at him angrily. I tensed up. It was obvious what he meant by that. I was right. They didn't want me here.

"Edward!", Rosalie gasped. Dr Cullen gave him a stern looked and so did Esme.

"Edward no one is standing in the spotlight and you will apologize to your sister! If you can't behave you will have to go up to your room for the rest of the evening.", Esme said in strict voice. Edward held her gaze for a few seconds before he stood up and left the room without another word. Dr Cullen went to go after him, but Esme stopped him.

"Just let him cool down a bit. We'll talk to him later."

"Jasper I am so sorry about my son! He normally is a very polite boy. I don't know why he said that.", he apologized but I didn't really hear him. I nodded anyway. I was looking at my hands without seeing them and tried not to panic. I could feel Rosalie being angry besides me and I wanted to apologize for ruining the evening. I really didn't want to bother them any longer. Before I could say anything though Esme spoke up.

"Why don't show Jasper were he's going to sleep tonight, Rosalie? Carlisle and I will do the dishes." She nodded and took my hand leading me out of the room and up the stairs. I followed her through a hallway until we reached the last room on the right. She opened the door to the bedroom and closed it again behind me.

"It's the guestroom. I hope you like it. My room is the one opposite of yours so if you need something just knock, okay?", she explained but I wasn't really listening. Why did she show me the guestroom? I ruined the dinner. I thought they would all want me to leave.

"Jasper?", Rose asked. "Jasper what's wrong?" When I didn't answer she put both hands on my face and forced me to look at her.

"I'm sorry!", I said. It just came out. I looked at her with pleading eyes, hoping she would forgive me even though I knew she probably wouldn't.

"Jasper, sorry for what? You said that earlier as well. I just don't know what you mean." She was looking at me with big eyes and she was confused. And I was as well.

"I ruined the dinner…", I said quietly. I was looking at my hands again and Rosalie seemed angry. I did it again. I made her angry again.

"You didn't ruin anything! Edward was a total jerk. He's used to having things his way and when someone else gets their way he gets grumpy behaves like a 4-year-old. And Bella is here every weekend anyway, they'll survive a few days apart. Jasper you did nothing wrong!" I didn't answer. I really wanted to believe her, but I couldn't quite yet.

"That's not all this is about, right? Jasper please talk to me!", Rosalie took my hands and squeezed them reassuringly. I looked into her eyes and the tears in them made my heart hurt.

"It's my fault they took you away. I fucked up and you hand to suffer from the consequences. I'm so sorry, Rose!", I finally said. She sighed. I looked back to my hands still in hers.

"I'm so happy that you got adopted and I hope you are happy here. I promise I won't mess with your life any longer. I…"

"Shut up!", she interrupted. "Just shut up! Don't you dare leaving me alone again. I just got you back! Do you seriously think I would have been looking for you if I blamed you for what happen?"

"Well, no…"

"Jasper, let me finish!", she interrupted again, and I knew better than to argue when she used that tone. "You defended me! That man was molesting me and you defended me! I'm so grateful for what you did. I tried to explain to social services over and over that you did nothing wrong, but they wouldn't listen. Jasper, you are my brother and I love you! Nothing will ever change that. And I can't be happy here if I don't have you in my life. You are the only person who understands me. Please Jasper! You are all I have left!" She was crying freely now and it broke my heart. I wrapped my arms around her and started rubbing circles on her back.

"Alright. I’m sorry. I’ll stay." We stood like that for a while, until she has calmed down. A knock on the door pulled us back into reality and Alice stuck her head into the room.

"Carlisle wants you to come down into the living room.", she said and then was gone again. I paled. Rose let go of me and sniffed. She must have seen my anxiety because she quickly explained.

"Carlisle likes us all to sit together when one of us has done something wrong. I think he thinks that we trust him more because of it." She shrugged as took my hand again and pulled me out of the room. I had to smile remembering how she always pulled me with her anywhere she went. I hardly had a word in where we would go but I never cared. We always had a lot of fun. Old habits die hard.

We were the last ones in the living room. Everyone was already seated and I tensed when I saw Edward throwing me a nasty look. I swallowed. Rose sat down on the sofa and pulled me down with her. I didn't let myself relax though. For one because I really was anxious but also because my back started hurting more and more. Edward didn't take his eyes off me and I grew even more nervous.

"Thank you all for coming.", Dr Cullen said. "I wanted to clear things up after we left them unresolved after dinner. Edward please explain your behaviour." Edward now looked at his father and sighed.

"I really don't know what I did wrong. All I did was state my opinion."

"It's not what you said, Edward. It's the way you said it.", Alice explained. He gave her an annoyed look.

"Come on. We all know that you weren't telling the truth about why you didn't want Bella to come today. Admit it, Edward.!" Rosalie was angry at him so much was clear. I wasn't sure if she liked Edward very much. I didn't think so, to be honest.

"What do you care? You don't even like her!"

"Because it has obviously something to do with Jasper or me!" Oh no. I didn't want them to fight because of me. "Seriously Edward! Can't you deal with things not going your way for once in your life?"

"This has nothing to do with me not having my way! I won't put Bella deliberately in danger!", Edward yelled.

"Edward, I don't think…", Dr Cullen tried to intervene.

"Danger? Why would she be in any danger?", Rosalie was yelling now as well. I had a feeling I knew why he would think that. And he was probably right. They must have called social services and they must have warned them. That's why I always ended up in families like Maria's. Those were the only ones that could deal with a fuck up like me.

"You've said it yourself! When you first told us about Jasper you said he was dangerous and that's why you were separated.", Edward said. I froze. I couldn't breathe anymore. She thought I was dangerous.

"No…", Rose whispered.

"You think I'm dangerous?", I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper. She shook her head.

"No Jasper! He twisted my words!"

"No, I didn't!", Edward interrupted. "You said they separated you because of that. And social services have records about the things he's done after that. Carlisle told me." I stood up. I couldn't breathe. I had to get out. I couldn't think. I was so confused. She said she was grateful, but she thought I'm dangerous.

"Jasper, breathe!", Alice said suddenly. Rose stopped glaring at Edward and was now looking at me. I didn't hear Alice though. I was absolutely oblivious to them. I couldn't breathe. Alice got up from her seat and went over to me and laid her hand on my shoulder. I didn't notice her and flinched. I instinctively raised my arm to shield my face from the blow I was expecting to come. Edward must have misinterpreted that because he moved between Alice.

"Don't touch her!". He pushed me back against the wall behind me. My back collided with it and I couldn't hold back a cry of pain. My knees gave out and I slithered down to the ground.

"Edward!", Dr Cullen, Esme and Rosalie yelled at the same time. Rose crouched down next to me but when she tried to touch me, I whimpered and curled into a protective ball. My back was in agony, but the pain made me breathe normally again.

"Edward go to your room immediately! We will have a long talk later!", Dr Cullen ordered.

"What? He tried to attack Alice!", he yelled.

"No, he didn't!", Alice now said. They were arguing now. I curled up even more.

"Carlisle something is wrong!", Rose said next to me. "His back his bleeding!"

"I didn't push him that hard!", Edward defended himself. Dr Cullen was now next to me on the ground and tried to get a look at my back. I whimpered when he touched me and flinched away from his hand.

"Jasper? Jasper tell me what's wrong?" I didn't answer. And even if I wanted to, I doubt that I would have been able to.

"I didn't do anything to him!", Edward again defended.

"Edward, your room, now! Jasper, I need to take a look at your back." Again, he tried to touch me and again I flinched. He looked at Rosalie with a desperate look in his eyes.

"Try to calm him down. Talk to him but be calm and gentle." Rose started to whisper into my ear and once I was calmer Dr Cullen pulled up my shirt to reveal the now bleeding slashes Jim's belt left on my back as well as the perfectly round burns from his cigarette. They gasped, all of them.

"Jasper who did that?" I didn't answer and Rose hugged me carefully watching not to touch my back. She started whispering into my ear again.

"Did Maria do that? Or was it her partner?" I tensed when Dr Cullen mentioned them which was answer enough.

"I'll have to take care of your back before it gets infected. Don't worry, you’ll be fine. Rose can be with you all the time." I nodded and slowly got back on my feet. I was embarrassed now for causing such a scene. I could feel the looks of the other Cullens on me and the urge to just run for the hills was nearly crushing me.

Rosalie led me back up the stair but we this time we went into the other direction in the hallway. She led me into a big office and Dr Cullen motioned me to lay down. He was talking to me, but I didn't listen. Rosalie was holding my hand but and I squeezed it tightly. He worked on my back for what seemed like an eternity and he apologized every time I whimpered. I just wanted to disappear. Rose went from holding my hand to running her fingers through my hair. It calmed me down immensely. After he was finished patching me up, I sat up and looked at my hands.

"Jasper how long has this been going on?" I didn't answer again and Dr Cullen hummed. "That long hmm? Well you are defiantly not going back there. You can stay here if you want or we'll find you somewhere else to stay." Rosalie took my hand again and I raised my hand to look at Dr Cullen.

"I'm tired. Would it be alright if I went to bed now, sir?" I couldn't have that conversation now.

"Yes of course. Rosalie?" She nodded and pulled me out of the office back into the guestroom.

"Jasper, I…", she started but I stopped her.

"Don't! Please, Rose! I can't do this now." She nodded and hugged me again.

"It's going to be okay. We will sort this out.", she whispered. Somehow, I didn't quite believe her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a really hard time writing this chapter. I know where I want the characters to go but I have trouble getting there.  
I also apologize for the Edward bashing in the last chapter, but I needed someone to be a dick and if anyone else had been it, it would have been too much out of character.

Chapter 5

Carlisle POV

It all made sense now. Why Jasper was so silent, why he reacted like he did when Esme first tried to touch him. It even explained why he always sat so stiffly. The moment I pulled up his shirt it all made sense. I have seen my fair share of abused children, but this was bad even for me. The larger gashes were obviously from a belt. I had to guess what caused the smaller burns. Cigarettes presumably. The poor boy must have been in pain the entire day. And yet he didn't complain once. Not even when I disinfected his back. He made no sound besides for small whimpers. 

I couldn't look at Rosalie. She was with him now and did a great job keeping him calm. I felt strangely guilty for not noticing the abuse. I tossed my gloves into the bin after I finishing patching him up and Jasper sat up on the examination table.

"Jasper how long has this been going on?" I asked him. He didn't answer me and I hummed. It was answer enough. "That long hmm? Well you are defiantly not going back there. You can stay here if you want or we'll find you somewhere else to stay." I would never send him back there. I would be happy to keep him here with us, but I didn't know if he wanted that and besides, it wasn't a decision to make on my own. Jasper raised his head now and looked at me with tired eyes. He looked so small.

"I'm tired. Would it be alright if I went to bed now, sir?", he asked. He called me sir again, but I didn't have it in me to correct him.

"Yes of course. Rosalie?" She nodded and pulled Jasper out of the office. With a heavy sigh I sat down at my desk and held my head in my hands. I needed to sort out what to do next. I had to call the police and social services. I thought about whether I should go to the hospital with Jasper, but I didn't think he would react very well to that. Esme and I needed to have talk with the children, especially Rosalie and Edward. I would talk to them tonight. Esme quietly came into the office and sat down on my lap. I didn't look at her instead I buried my face in her hair and hugged her.

"How is he?", she asked me gently while she started playing with my hair. I sighed and removed my head from her shoulder.

"It's bad. Esme, He's been beaten with a belt and they pushed burning cigarettes onto his back! There were older wounds as well. I understand now why he was so silent and reluctant. Especially in my presence. He must be so confused. I really get it now! Why he repeatedly got in fights at school or argued with his teachers. I will have to talk to him tomorrow."

"Do you want to talk with the children? We didn't really solve anything tonight.", Esme asked and I nodded.

"Jasper said he was tired and I think I should talk with Rosalie alone. Could you get the others and wait for me in the living room, please?", I asked and gave her a quick kiss before leaving the office. First, I checked for Rosalie in her room but she wasn't there.

"She's with Jasper.", Emmett said and I jumped a bit. I didn't expect him to suddenly be behind me. He mumbled a quick apology.

"Thank you, Emmett. Could you please wait in the living room with the others?" He nodded and left without another word. I sighed before I knocked quietly on the door to the guestroom before sticking my head through the door. What I saw nearly broke my heart. Every window was open which made me frown. It was early October and already pretty chilly outside. Jasper was lying on the bed, again curled up into a ball. Rosalie was standing next to the bed looking completely helpless. She was looking at me and I could see the tears in her eyes.

"Can we talk?", I whispered and she nodded. She bent down to Jasper and whispered something into his ear. He didn't react and Rosalie sighed before she followed me out of the room. I closed the door behind her. 

"How is he?", I asked.

"He won't let me in. He doesn't want to talk to me. I didn't understand why he was so silent and insecure but now I do." I could see she was about to start crying again so I pulled her into a hug.

"I didn't even ask him how he was. I just assumed he was okay.", she pulled out of my hug. "He blames himself. He thinks he's ruined the dinner! He told me before we came down into the living room. Carlisle, what have they done to him?" 

"He won't go back there, I promise. I will call CPS first thing tomorrow and if Jasper wants to, the police. He can stay here if the rest of the family is okay with that and…"

"You mean if Edward says it's okay.", she interrupted.

"No Rosalie. If the majority of the family decides they want Jasper to stay he will. Only if he wants to of course. And even if they say no, he will never have to go back there.", I assured her.

"I'm going to talk to them. Do you want to come?", I asked but she shook her head.

"I'll stay with Jasper." I nodded and watched her as she silently slipped back into the guestroom. I sighed for what seemed the 100th time today and went down the stairs into the living room.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

I ached for my bed after a long talk with my family. It didn't surprise me that no one had anything to say against Jasper staying with us. Even Edward was in for it. He seemed very remorseful and apologized to me and Esme more than once. Alice and Emmett were both uncharacteristically quiet. I could see they were worried. Emmett really cared about Rosalie that much was obvious. As for Alice, she and her sister often had disagreements, but they still cared very much for each other. I knew they wouldn't have anything against Jasper staying here. But at first that was a temporary solution. I still had to talk to Jasper and ask him if he even wanted to stay.

But that would have to wait until tomorrow. I didn't want to wake him up. He had an exhausting day and needed his sleep. It was pretty late now and I wanted to check on him before going to bed. I silently opened the door to the guestroom. It was cold in the room, that was the first thing I noticed. All the windows were still open. Jasper wasn't curled up into a ball anymore but the was nearly completely covered by blankets. I quickly but silently made my way towards the windows to close them.

"They have to stay open.", Rosalie whispered and I turned around. She was sitting in the armchair, wrapped in a blanket. "I already tried to close them, but he wants them open.", she explained. I nodded and went to stand next to her.

"Why won't you go to bed? I don't want you to catch a cold.", I whispered and she shrugged. "He will be fine, Rosalie. I don't think he would want you to be awake all night because of him." I pulled her up from the armchair and out into the hall. She silently closed the door behind her. I pulled her into a hug and she returned it immediately.

"Don't worry. It will all be fine, you'll see.", I said and let go of her again.

"He's so different. I know it was foolish to think that he wouldn't have changed but still. I hate to see him so insecure. He's never been the driving force of us two, but he's never been insecure. I really hope he will become himself again.", she whispered.

"Give him time to adjust. It's been a long and eventful day for him, for all of us. Tomorrow is a knew day and maybe we will see more of the Jasper you know. He's going to stay with us for the next week at least and then as long as he wants to. Eventually he will open up, at least to you. He loves you. Everyone can see that. I will do as much as possible to help him.", I whispered back. God, she looked so tired. She went into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. For the last time this night I sighed and made my way towards my bed. It's been indeed a long day.

The next morning, I was sitting in my office doing a bit of research about how to best help abused teenagers. It was still early for a Sunday, 7 am to be exact and everyone else was still asleep. I was wondering if Jasper would be willing to give therapy a try but somehow, I doubted that. And to be fair, I didn't know how much damage there was done and how the boy is handling it. Hopefully the recent beating was the reason for his passive behaviour yesterday and he would come out of his shell today.

It was still too early to call social services and I haven't gotten much sleep the night before, so I decide to go down to the kitchen and make some coffee. I was just about to turn on the overly complicated coffee machine Esme wanted to buy when I noticed Jasper standing in the forest that started right across the house. He was standing just behind the forest line, his back leaning against a tree. I frowned as I made my way over to the door. It had to hurt to lean like that against a tree with a back that looked like his.

It stopped raining sometime during the night and the small gravel path that led to the forest was still wet. The grass was sparkling in the rare sunshine. Jasper wasn't looking towards the house, so he didn't see me coming. He was smoking and seemed to be somewhere else entirely in his mind. But he must have heard me coming because he didn't jump when I called his name.

"Jasper! How come you're up this early?", I asked with a (hopefully) reassuring smile. He took a last draw and quickly put out the cigarette before he answered.

"I just couldn't sleep anymore and I was sure you wouldn't like it if I smoked near the house so I came here.", he said with a shrug. I nodded. We grew silent as I thought about the right words to say and I could see him tensing up again.

"Listen Jasper, I…"

"I think it's time for me to apologize.", Jasper interrupted. "I'm sorry about all the trouble I've caused. I'm sorry you all had to see that yesterday and I hope Edward won't get into trouble because of me. I understand that I have to leave. I just want to say goodbye to Rosalie and then I'll be gone." I was staring at him. He must be joking.

"You won't be going anywhere! You have nothing to apologize for." I could see he was about to interrupt me again. "No, Jasper! I won't send you back there. You can stay for as long as you want to." When I was finished, he was looking at me with big eyes. I couldn't quiet read the expression in them, but it looked a bit like hope and gratefulness.

"Thank you!", he whispered and we went back towards the house.

"There's no need to thank me either. Now I think I promised to show you the library yesterday, didn't I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always please leave reviews and tell me what you thought. Thank you for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jasper POV

I was sitting in one of the armchairs in the small library at the Cullens home reading. It's where I was spending most of the day. I've been staying with the Cullens for one week now and I caught myself trusting them more and more. Especially Alice. She and Rose where the ones I talked to the most, which meant I was talking to them on my own accord.

Carlisle tried to converse with me a lot, but I never knew what I was supposed to say when he asked me about my hobbies or friends. I didn't even have any besides Peter and Charlotte. I called Peter after I had a long conversation with Carlisle about what they were going to do with me. Eventually we decided that it was best if I stayed with them until I was of age. I had to admit, I've been relieved that I didn't have to go back to Maria and even more that I would be able to see Rose all the time now. I told Peter that I wouldn't come back and that he, Charlotte and Annetta would be send somewhere else. I promised that we would stay in touch and if he ever needed help, he just needed to call and I would do everything to help. To be honest, I was a bit upset to leave him behind like that, but I knew we would eventually see each other again.

After talking to Carlisle most Sunday morning, I spent the rest of the day catching up with Rosalie. We talked about everything. She continued her house tour by showing me the garage with an impressive number of cars inside. Rose was particularly proud of her Mercedes she was currently taking apart and back together. She had always loved cars and dad would often take her to car shows. While I liked it as well, I was never as passionate about it. I smiled as Rose became completely engrossed in the topic and kept explaining to me why this particular engine part was better than the one the car originally had. I smiled and made some comments from time to time.

To my surprise, Edward apologized during dinner. I never blamed him, but I was still surprised. I could still see that he didn't like me but to be fair, I couldn't really blame him. I was thankful though, that nobody was looking at me as if I was a hurt little puppy. Probably because Carlisle talked to them.

Everything was fine for the moment. Until Monday came and Rose had to go to school. Carlisle wasn't able to enrol me into Forks High as quickly as he would have liked and so I had to wait until Thursday to start school. Rose wanted to skip school so I wouldn't feel lonely, but Carlisle was having none of it. So, she went and I was left alone with Esme since Carlisle had to work.

I didn't mind Esme, I actually liked her so far, but I was still uncomfortable being alone with her. I didn't know what to say to her, so I just spent my days in the library. She would sometimes bring me a sandwich and tried to have conversation about what book I was reading at the moment. I tried my best to be polite and we talked a bit until she had to go and clean or cook. I offered my help, but she denied and left me alone with the books again. I felt bad about not really talking to her, but I just didn't know what to say. I tried not to think about going to a new school with new people who would definitely judge me. So, I continued to read.

It wasn't hard to miss when school was over because I could hear Emmett and Edward fighting about football teams as they walked through the front door. Rose stuck her head through the door and asked if I needed anything and then left again to do her homework. I didn't mind her not spending every second of the day with her and to be honest I quiet liked the quiet in the library.

But then Alice suddenly came through the door and without a word sat down on the floor and started doing her homework. All I could do was stare at her, but she just ignored me. I blinked a few times and frowned in confusion but then decided to just go back to reading my book. We sat there for about an hour without saying a single word but slowly but surely, I could sense her becoming more and more frustrated with her math homework. She started sighing over and over again and I was pretty sure she did that on propose.

"You need help with that?", I finally asked after I couldn't take it anymore. Alice turned around and smiled.

"Actually, I do.", she said shyly. I got up and knelt down next to her. I wasn't the best at math, but I was still able to help her with her problem. After we were done, she asked me about my day and then told me about hers. And before I knew it, we were talking about our favorite TV shows and her favorite place for shopping. I told her about my love for history and she explained to me the newest fashion trends. I mentioned how Rose and I lived in Texas for most of our childhood and Alice started giggling.

"What? What did I say?", I asked.

"I'm sorry. I just imagined you and Rosalie in matching cowboy outfits.", she continued to giggle. I shook my head and couldn't help but smile as well. "Believe it or not but we actually dressed up like that once. I think we were about 6 years old and Mom thought it was funny to torture her children like that." Alice was laughing even more and I just had to join her. Her laugh was just so infectious.

"Yeah… Rose wasn't very happy about it. You should have seen her face in the pictures.", I continued.

"My face in which pictures?", Rosalie asked as she suddenly appeared in the door.

"Remember the cowboy costumes mom made us wear?", I asked and her face changed into almost the same expression as in the pictures. Alice started giggling again.

"Don't ever mention these abominations again. It's bad enough that there are pictures somewhere.", Rose said a bit annoyed, but I could see she was hardly able to keep a straight face.

"By the way, dinner is ready.", she said and Alice and I followed her out of the room.

Over the next two days Alice would always join me in the library to do her homework. I helped her when she struggled and when she was done, we would just talk until dinner was ready. I was amazed at how easy it was to talk to her. I felt like she really understood me. It wasn't like Carlisle who just listened but didn't understand or Rose who understood some but not all of it. Alice just knew what to say and when to say it. Rose and I spend the evenings in her room and she seemed happy that I got along with Alice.

I was hardly able to sleep the night before Thursday. I had to go to school the next and even though I was somewhat glad to finally get something to do I was still dreading another new school. I was passed around so many times by social services that I have seen my fair share of schools. I was sick of being the new kind again but still glad to be at the same school as my sister. I spent the night restlessly turning from one position on the bed into another one until I finally fell asleep at about 4 a.m.

Breakfast was quiet. I hardly slept at all and was accordingly tired. Plus, my anxiety about school added to the mix and made me unable to eat anything. All I managed to get down was a cup of coffee. Esme tried coaxing me into eating at least some toast, but I just couldn't get it down and smiled apologizing at her. Normally they would all get to school with Edward, but Rosalie decided that I should ride with her to school since he would pick up Bella on the way and I had to be there a bit early to go and get my schedule. I was sure the fact that he still didn't want me to meet Bella had nothing to do with that, no. But I nodded anyway and threw a quick glance at him. I wasn't quite sure why he couldn't stand me one bit, but I was sure I would find out soon enough. Rosalie told me about him he basically always got his way even though he wouldn't admit it. Even Alice said something along the lines of him being a bit spoiled. And judging by that I was sure he would soon tell everyone what he doesn't like about me.

My stomach was twisted into a tight knot when Rosalie drove onto the school parking lot. She frowned when we got out of the car and when I followed her gaze, I saw an old, orange truck which had seen better days. I frowned and turned to look at my sister.

"That's Bella’s truck…", she said and I frowned even deeper.

"I thought Edward was going to pick her up." I was confused but only for a moment. Of course, he had lied. Why would he want to take me to school?

"Yeah that's what he told me, but it looks like he lied." Rose shrugged and we went towards the main building together. I had been at this school for about 5 minutes and already people were staring at me. I did my best to ignore them and followed Rose as she led me to the office to get my schedule. The school was smaller than the one I've attended last but to be fair, Aberdeen was way bigger than Forks. The lady sitting behind the desk at the information office smiled when we entered. She explained the basic rules at this school and then gave me my schedule.

The first half of my day passed in a blur. I had some trouble finding all of my classes and since I didn't have any with Rose before lunch, I had no help. I enjoyed History though because the teacher actually seemed to know what she was talking about. At my old school the teacher was completely incompetent. However, the stares I got in every class and in the hallways left me anxious. People were actually whispering when I passed them in the hall. Seriously, has no one ever seen a new student before? Soon my anxiety was replaced by annoyance.

I was waiting in front of my English class for Rose so we could go to lunch together when someone interrupted my thoughts.

"So, you're the new one the Cullens picked up?", a boy with pale blond hair said. He was around my height and was smirking at me. I instantly couldn't stand him.

"How come?", he asked.

"I'm Rosalie’s twin.", I answered and turned to look for Rose and also signal the guy that I didn't want to talk to him.

"I didn't know she had a twin. I heard that they picked you up in Aberdeen. Now, I'm wondering, how come Rosalie lived in Oregon before she was adopted by the Cullens and you were in Aberdeen?", he asked in a silky voice. I turned my head to glare at him and raised one eyebrow.

"I didn't know that's any of your business." He just stared back at me snorted. Before he could say any more though Rosalie showed up.

"Jasper are you ready?", she asked and I threw one last glance at the boy and followed her down the hallway.

"Who was that?", I asked her and she snorted.

"That was Mike Newton. He's an idiot, don't waste your time with him."

"I wasn't planning to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter and as always please leave a review


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Rosalie POV

It has been a bit over a month now since Jasper started living with us. He seemed to come out of his shell more and more recently. Especially with Alice. She had no problems connecting with him. At first, I thought I might get jealous but as it turned out I was just glad Jasper made a friend. And he hadn't spent any less time with me.

And it seemed to help Alice as well. She had always been her usual bubbly self but somehow, she seemed even happier lately. I knew she struggled with some idiots at school but since Jasper came to us it didn't bother her as much anymore.

I stopped worrying a bit now that my brother was with me and I noticed how I started to socialize with my adopted siblings more and more. I was still angry at Edward for how he treated Jasper but all in all the Cullens started to feel like a family to me. Emmett especially, he was annoying sometimes sure, but he also made her laugh. He knew exactly how to cheer her up.

Jasper had also met Bella. Edward was still an idiot and didn't want her to be anywhere near Jasper. Which annoyed her and me the same way. Even Alice was angry at Edward which didn't happen very often. And even he couldn't stop Bella if she wanted to do something. So, after about two weeks she met Jasper. Edward didn't leave her side though.

A knock on the door pulled me out of my thinking. Carlisle stuck his head inside my room.

"Do you have a minute?", he asked.

"Yes of course. What's up?", I said and got up from the desk where I was currently doing my homework.

"Do you mind taking Jasper shopping or something like that for a few hours?", Carlisle asked me as he closed the door behind him.

"Yeah sure. But why?" I frowned. Why would Carlisle want us out of the house?

"Esme and I talked yesterday. We want to adopt Jasper." My heart skipped a beat and a huge smile formed on my face.

"You do? That's amazing! Thank you!"

"We still have to talk to the rest of the family though I doubt that they would disagree.", he explained.

"Edward sure will.", I scoffed.

"Rosalie...", Carlisle sighed. I didn't want to fight so I dropped the topic.

"Why do you want us to leave the house?", I asked instead.

"We want to surprise Jasper.", he explained. "And that's why we need you to distract him for a few hours."

"Are you going to ask him today?", I asked. That would be really fast. Adoption usually required a lot of paperwork.

"No. We just want to ask the family today. Then we would get the necessary paperwork and surprise him."

I nodded. I thanked Carlisle one last time and went to search for my brother.

It was a Saturday and Jasper usually spent his weekends in his room or at the border to the forest reading. He seemed to like the quiet. I knocked on the door leading to his room and waited for an answer. When none came, I stuck my head through the door. The room was empty. That meant Jasper was probably outside.

I found my twin behind the house sitting on a blanket with his back leaning against a tree near the forest. He had a cigarette loosely dangling from his lips and I shook my head. I tried to stop him smoking but he just shrugged and said it calmed him down.

It was early winter now and the freezing outside, but Jasper didn't seem to mind. He was wrapped in 2 blankets and a big warm jacket.

He was reading but looked up when he heard me coming down the pathway leading to the forest. Jasper smiled and quickly put out the cigarette.

"Hey! What's up?", he asked and closed his book. He moved a bit and I sat down next to him on the blanket. I let my head rest against his shoulder.

"I'm bored.", I sighed dramatically. Jasper's shoulders shook as he laughed.

"Poor you!", he mocked and I laughed with him.

"Come shopping with me.", I asked and sat up straight. He made a face.

"Why me?", he whined playfully. "Ask Alice."

"Alice doesn't want to go.", I said without thinking. Jasper raised an eyebrow.

"Alice doesn't want to go shopping?", he asked sceptically. Maybe that wasn't the best excuse.

"Come on!" I was almost begging now. "I want to spend some time alone with my brother."

"Alright. But please don't take me shopping." Jasper got up and offered me a hand. I helped him pack up the blanket.

"We could go to the beach if you want to.", I suggested. Jaspers eyes lit up.

"Yes, let's go to the beach!" I laughed at how excited he got.

The sun had decided to come out that day, so Jasper and I were able to enjoy the beach without freezing. The wind was unpleasant but that didn't really bother us. We spent about 3 hours wandering around and eventually we got hungry. I thought about going to a restaurant for a second but decided that I gave Carlisle enough time to talk to the family. I still took my time driving back.

As we pulled up on the driveway Edward just stormed out of the house. He took one angry look at Jasper before stomping towards his car and driving away.

"What was that about?", Jasper asked confused. He had long given up befriending Edward and just stayed out of his way.

"No idea.", I mumbled. Of course, I knew what had made Edward so angry. I would ask Carlisle about that later on.

"I wonder what I did wrong this time.", he mumbled and got out of the car. He was frowning and I sighed. He was so happy today.

Dinner was quiet. The rest of the family already ate. Esme sat with us at the dinner table and tried to start a conversation with Jasper, but he only gave short answers. She looked at me with sad eyes and eventually gave up.

After dinner Jasper disappeared into his room.

I knocked on the door to Carlisle's office and opened after hearing an answer.

"How did it go?", I asked as I closed the door behind me.

"Edward wasn't too happy about the prospect of getting a new brother.", he sighed. "But this family is a democracy and no one else had anything to say against Jasper's adoption. I will get the necessary paperwork on Monday."

I felt like a ton of weight was lifted off my shoulders.

"Thank you so much, Carlisle!", I said and hugged him.

The rest of the weekend passed rather uneventfully. Edward came back after a few hours but stormed right up to his room and loudly closed the door. After that he only came out in order to eat.

Monday came and we all started our usual routine in the morning. Alice and Jasper usually went with me to school since Edward refused to take Jasper. He dropped the excuse of picking up Bella pretty soon since her bright orange truck let everyone know that he was lying.

Alice was excited during breakfast and the whole drive to school. She couldn't sit still and kept talking. Jasper smiled and sometimes made a comment but stuck with listening mostly. I just hoped that Alice wouldn't spill anything. I didn't want her to ruin the surprise for Jasper.

Alice and I had almost the same way to our first classes, but Jasper had to go into the opposite direction. Alice promised to meet him for lunch.

The day passed quickly and uneventfully. Edward didn't sit with us at lunch as usual at first but Bella dragged him to our table and forced him. He gave Jasper an angry glance but didn't say anything.

After lunch Jasper and I had double math. He had promised Alice to meet her after school in the parking lot. Lately Mike Newton kept picking on her more often than usual. Jasper walked with her a lot. Maybe because Newton didn't pick on her that much when she wasn't alone.

As we walked out onto the parking lot Alice was already standing with her back against a wall, Newton in front of her.

"What's the matter, Cullen? Are you too stupid to answer a simple question?", he asked her in a mocking voice. Alice didn't look at him. Instead she looked at her shoes. Jasper quickened his pace and stood next to her.

"Come on, Alice. Let's go.", he said and took her hand. Newton smirked.

"Aw, are you going to rescue the pixie?", he laughed and Jasper's eyes narrowed.

"Drop it Newton!", he said quietly but in a dangerous voice. I knew that tone. It was a warning.

"Jasper..." I took his other hand and tried to pull him away. Jasper didn't resist it and started walking away dragging Alice with him.

Newton had other ideas. He grabbed Jasper's upper arm and turned him around.

"What?", my brother snapped. He had let go of Alice' hand and had pushed her behind him. There had already a small crowd formed around us and I could see Edward and Bella standing and watching us.

"Come on, Hale! I didn't think you were someone running away from a fight!", Newton mocked with a smirk on his face.

"I'm not running. I just don't feel like wasting my time on you.", Jasper stated calmly. It was fake though. I could see the rage inside his eyes. Newton turned pink and narrowed his eyes.

Jasper started to turn around again when Newton suddenly threw a punch at him. Jasper ducked quickly and avoided being hit in the face. Mike wasn't able to stop his punch though. Instead his fist collided with Alice' jaw.

There was a moment of absolute silence.

Then all hell broke loose.

Jasper tackled Newton and punched him hard in the face. Bella ran towards the now crying Alice and pulled her into a hug. I tried unsuccessfully to get Jasper off Newton. Edward did nothing besides pulling Bella and Alice towards his Volvo.

Newton had just kicked Jasper in the stomach with his knee and got back to his feet. My brother got to his feet and was about to punch Newton again when Emmett suddenly grabbed him and pulled him away.

Jasper was bleeding from his nose and he had a cut above his left eye. A bruise was already forming on his jaw. Emmett pulled him towards my car and pulled him into a sitting position in front of it.

"Where's Alice?", Jasper asked almost panicky search the parking lot with his eyes. The Volvo was gone.

"Edward took her home.", I said pressed a tissue onto his bleeding nose.

"What were you thinking?", Emmett bellowed standing up and pacing back and forth in front of us.

"He punched Alice! What was I supposed to do?", Jasper defended himself.

"Oh...", was all Emmett said. He must have missed the start of the fight.

"We need to get you home.", I said as I carefully turned his face to get a proper look at the damage. Jasper just nodded.

The drive back home was quiet. No one said a word. Emmett went with us since Edward was already gone. He was driving and I sat in the back with Jasper still pressing a tissue against his nose.

Alice was sitting on the couch with a pack of frozen peas held against her jaw by Esme as Emmett and I walked into the room. Jasper stayed outside calming down. She was crying and Bella was gently talking to her. Edward was in the kitchen fighting with Carlisle.

"Edward, calm down!", Carlisle said calmly. He shook his head.

"No! Carlisle don't you see? That's exactly what I was warning you about. He is dangerous!", Edward yelled and pointed at Alice who whimpered. "And now Alice got hurt because of him!"

"He didn't touch her, Edward!", I said desperately. Jasper never wanted Alice to get hurt.

"He wanted to hit her on the first day he was here!", Edward hissed.

"No, he didn't! He was scared!", I defended my brother.

"Stop defending him!", he snapped at me.

"Stop accusing him!", I snapped back. "It's not his fault!"

"Carlisle, do you really want to adopt someone like that? Someone who is a danger to our family? Think about it. What if it's Esme the next time he gets angry or scared." Carlisle paled. He looked at his wife then at Alice and eventually back at Edward.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe Jasper isn't yet ready to join us properly.", he said quietly.

"No!", I yelled. "Jasper isn't dangerous. He would never hurt someone deliberately!"

"Ask Mike Newton if he agrees.", Edward stated dryly. I glared at him.

"He shouldn't stay here. Surely you must agree. He's just going to lose control and hurt even more people.", Edward said calmer now. Carlisle said nothing. And that was the worst thing. Edward got his will, he had convinced Carlisle.

Alice was crying more now and Bella struggled to calm her. I felt a tear slide down my cheek at the thought of losing Jasper again.

The front door falling shut had everyone in the room turn around.

"Jasper!", I gasped. Jasper stood leaning against the wall holding his left side. He looked at me with hurt eyes. I didn't want to know how much he had heard. He turned around and practically ran up the stairs.

"Jasper!", I yelled after him. Carlisle looked at me with worried eyes.

"What happened to his face?", he asked.

"Newton happened.", Emmett answered. I didn't listen to the rest of the conversation, instead running after my brother. I reached his door and knocked.

"Jasper please talk to me!" I tried to open the door, but he had locked it. "Jasper please!" I sank down onto the ground resting my head against the door and started to cry. I kept sitting there hoping that he would let me in, but the door never opened. The yelling in the living room started again and I put my hands against my ears to shut it out. Eventually Alice joined me and pulled me into a hug.

"They're wrong.", she mumbled. "He's gentle and kind, not dangerous."

Carlisle came upstairs after the fighting downstairs had stopped.

"I need to talk to him.", he said.

"He won't open the door.", I whispered. "It's locked."

"I'll be right back.", Carlisle answered after a moment of silence. He came back two minutes later with a key. He unlocked the door and I opened it.

The room was empty and cold. The window was open and all of Jasper's things were gone. The room looked exactly like it did before Jasper came to us. The only thing left was a folded piece of paper on the pillow on the bed.

"Where is he?", I asked. Carlisle went over to the bed and picked up the paper. He read it and locked his worried eyes with mine.

"Carlisle, where is he?", I asked louder and started searching the room.

"Rosalie…"

"Where is he?", I screamed.

"He left."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Carlisle POV

"What do you mean he left?", Rosalie asked dumbfounded. I wordlessly handed her the letter Jasper had left on the bed.

She read it silently while tears started running down her face. Alice took her hand and squeezed it. I took a sad look at my two daughters who had finally started to treat each other like sisters.

"Carlisle, what are we going to do? He has nowhere to go! We have to find him!", Rosalie cried. She pulled out her phone and dialled what I guessed was Jasper's number. We all waited expectedly but Rosalie just shook her head.

"Went straight to voicemail.", she whispered.

Jasper was slow since he was walking. He didn't have a car. But I didn't know how much of a head start he had. Probably about an hour. That's enough to get to the main road. He wasn't stupid. He probably hitchhiked to Forks.

At least, I hoped that's where he went.

"I'm going to make some calls." I said. "You two should go downstairs."

I guided both of them out of the room and down into the living room. Emmett was still fighting with Edward but at least they stopped screaming. As soon as we entered the room and Edward spotted the crying girls he immediately jumped to the wrong assumption. It was then I noticed that he had been doing that quite a lot lately.

"What has he done now?", he asked angrily and his eyes narrowed. Rosalie tensed up next to me.

"Happy now? You've got what you wanted!", she yelled and sank down onto the couch.

"What?", he asked genuinely confused.

"Jasper's gone.", Alice mumbled and sat down next to Rosalie.

"What do you mean he's gone?", Emmett asked.

"She means he left. Packed his things and left!", Rosalie said angrily.

"Seriously? Just like that?", Edward scoffed.

"Edward!", I warned. Rosalie glared at him. If looks could kill Edward probably would have burst into flames then and there.

"Bella, could you please call your dad? I need to talk to him.", I asked her and she nodded and quickly left the room.

"Well where did he go?", Emmett asked. No one answered him. Edward looked like he slowly started to understand what he had done.

It wasn't his fault completely though. I let him scare me and that ultimately drove Jasper away.

"Carlisle!", Bella called from the kitchen. I quickly grabbed the phone she offered me.

"Hello, Chief Swan!"

"Dr. Cullen. Bella says you need to talk to me. Is she alright?", he asked worriedly.

"Yes, Bella is fine", I assured him. "It's Jasper."

"Oh right! The new boy you've adopted."

"We haven't adopted him yet.", I corrected. "Anyway, there's been an incident at school today. Edward made the wrong assumption and as a result we had a fight at home. Jasper has run away."

"I'll let my people know. They'll look for him. Tell me if you want to file a missing person’s report.", Charlie said in a serious voice.

"I hope we can avoid that.", I said.

"Do you have any idea where he might have gone?", Chief Swan asked.

"Unfortunately, no.", I sighed. "Jasper doesn't really know anyone in Forks besides our family. I'll let you know if I can think of something. Thank you for your help Chief Swan!"

"No problem!"

I hung up and gave the phone back to Bella. Esme had joined the girls on the couch and looked at me with big worried eyes.

"I can't just sit here! I'll go look for Jasper!", Rosalie said and jumped up from the couch.

"Wait! You shouldn't drive! I'll take you.", I said and before she could protest Esme gently touched her shoulder. She didn't say anything. She just looked at Rosalie with sad eyes.

"Alice and I are going too!", Emmett said and put an arm around his sister's shoulder. I could see Edward rolling his eyes. Before I could say something though Bella had already elbowed him in the side and glared at him.

"I want to help as well!", she said and looked at Rosalie.

"Why?", Edward asked sceptically.

"Because I like Jasper. He's nice and can be really funny. You just chose to ignore that.", Bella hissed. Rosalie walked over to her and took her hands.

"Thank you so much!", she said quietly.

"I'll stay here.", Esme said. "Just in case he comes back."

I nodded and kissed her cheek.

"Well, let's go!", Rosalie stressed.

We searched for hours but still couldn't find Jasper anywhere. Rosalie got more and more upset the more time passed. The others didn't have any luck either or else they would have called us.

Jasper was probably long gone. He must have left Forks right away.

As it was getting dark Rosalie and I decided that we couldn't do more that day and went back home.

"He wouldn't go back to that place, would he?", Rosalie asked quietly. I shook my head.

"No, I don't think so. And even if he would, I don't think she would just welcome him back. She seemed to be glad to get rid of him.", I calmed her.

"I thought you called CPS on her anyway.", she said with a frown.

"I did. But if they did anything I don't know.", I shrugged. It's not like I didn't care about the other children in her care. CPS just wouldn't tell me anything.

We fell silent.

"What about Peter? Maybe Jasper went to him?", Rosalie suddenly said as we pulled up on the driveway.

"Who?", I asked frowning.

"Jasper's brother! Well not brother but his friend. They lived together at Maria's.", she explained.

"Yes, that's a good idea. Do you know if he's still there?", I asked her. She shook her head.

"No. But that's the best we have so far."

"I'll call work tomorrow and tell them that I won't be coming. Esme and I will go back to Aberdeen." I took her hand and squeezed it. "We'll find him. I promise!"

I had a strange sense of Deja-vu as I was driving to Aberdeen the next day. Esme had allowed Rosalie and Alice to stay at home from school that day since both of them were still very upset. Understandably so.

Rosalie wanted to come and wouldn't stop fighting us until I reluctantly gave in. She sat in the back seat staring at her hands absently. She was listening to music with headphones.

Esme sat next to me in the car looking out of the window. She seemed like she was miles away in her thoughts. I took one of her hands and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"He's fine. You'll see.", I assured her and me as well. "I'm sure he's fine."

"What if he isn't, though? What if we can't find him and Rosalie starts distancing herself again?", Esme whispered. "I don't think she would handle losing him again very well. And Alice! Have you noticed how much time she spent with Jasper? And how happy he made her?"

"Esme, stop worrying. We will think about those things if they happen.", I said in a calming voice.

"I just don't understand why he left.", she sighed.

"I think he listened to Edward. Our son hasn't said one nice word to Jasper since he joined us." It pained me to admit it, but Rosalie had been right. Edward always had to have things his way. "And Jasper has been in so many foster families who passed him on like an unwanted dog as soon as he made one mistake. Everyone but Maria. But how he was treated there you already know. I think he felt like we didn't want him. And when Edward started to question our decision to adopt Jasper, when he started to question your safety, he probably believed it."

"We have to find him, Carlisle!", Esme wept.

"We will."

We had tried calling Jasper again all evening and morning, but his phone was switched off. I just hoped he found somewhere save to sleep.

The house looked exactly the same as it did almost 2 months ago. That shouldn't have surprised me. But somehow, I still hoped I made a difference by calling CPS.

We arrived at the house in the early afternoon. Someone had to be home.

Rosalie paled as she saw where Jasper had lived for the first time. Esme took her hand and we walked up to the front door.

I knocked and expected Maria to open the door and snap at us as she did the last time.

However, a young girl who looked a bit younger than Rosalie opened the door.

"Hello. Can I help you with something?", she asked politely.

"Yes!", Rosalie answered. "We are looking for my brother!"

"You mean Jasper, right?", the young girl asked again but a lot quieter this time. She looked over her shoulder and then stepped outside on the porch and closed the door behind her.

"Yes! Is he here?", I asked the girl.

"No. But he came here yesterday evening. He was looking for Peter.", she said.

"Well, where is he?" Rosalie got impatient. 

"I don't know. Peter ran away shortly after you took Jasper. They were cruel to him now that Jasper didn't protect him anymore and he left. I don't know where he is now, but he sometimes comes by to check on us. Peter took Jasper with him.", she quickly explained. She looked worried.

"Thank you.", Esme gently said.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you more.", the girl apologized. "Maybe I could call you the next time Peter and Jasper show up."

"That would be great!" I gave her my card with my number and thanked her again.

"I hope you find him soon.", she said worriedly. She looked at Rosalie one last time and then disappeared back into the house.

"Now what?", Rosalie asked when we were back inside the car.

"There isn't much we can do now.", I sighed feeling a little defeated. "We have to wait for her to call us, I guess. Rosalie keep trying to call Jasper. Maybe he'll answer."

"That's it? We can't just do nothing!", Rosalie yelled.

"Honey, I know you're upset. We all are. But Carlisle is right! We can't do much besides waiting.", Esme said gently. She turned around in her seat and reached out for Rosalie.

"I can't go back to Forks knowing that Jasper is here. Please Carlisle!", she begged.

"I'll call Chief Swan again. Maybe he has some connections here. Rosalie, I promise you I will do everything I can to find Jasper.", I promised her. "But there's no point in staying here. I have to work and Rosalie, you have to go to school."

She just nodded. I really hoped that I would be able to keep that promise.

Rosalie kept trying to call Jasper over and over again in the next few days. Just once it didn't go straight to voicemail. But still, Jasper never answered the phone.

Rosalie became more and more depressed the longer we waited for any update. Chief Swan contacted his colleges in Aberdeen and they too were looking for Jasper. Unfortunately, we had no other choice than to file missing person report.

Edward had realized how he mistreated Jasper and apologized. Rosalie was still angry with him. Understandably so. But she accepted his apology.

It was 3 days later when my phone finally rang.

"Hello?", I asked excitedly.

"Hello! Is this Dr. Cullen? I'm Charlotte. I promised to call if I've seen Jasper.", a girl answered.

"Yes, thank you! Has he visited?", I pressed.

"He has together with Peter. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner."

"It's fine. How did he seem?" There was silence at the other end for a few seconds. It seemed like she was contemplating whether she should tell me something.

"Well... he seemed ok. I mean he had a black eye, but he already had that when he first showed up here on Monday.", she said quickly.

"There's something you're not telling me, right?", I asked her gently. There was silence again.

"I think he was drunk when he showed up. It's not the first time I've seen him drunk but today was different. He seemed really off." My stomach dropped slightly. I've been told that Jasper had been drinking underage. But the fact that Charlotte, who apparently knew him pretty well was so uncertain had me worried. 

"Has he told you were he is staying?", I asked hoping against odds that he had.

"No. I'm sorry.", Charlotte answered quietly. "I know this isn't much help to you, but I thought maybe it would calm you a bit to know that he's ok."

"Thank you for calling, Charlotte. I hope it didn't put you in an uncomfortable position.", I thanked her.

"No not at all! I'm happy to help. I can call again the next time I see him.", she offered.

"Yes, that would be very helpful!" I thanked her once more and ended the call.

I kept sitting in my office for a few minutes after that thinking about how to tell Rosalie. It became more and more clear that Jasper wasn't going to come back soon.

She didn't take it well. Rosalie insisted that we go back to Aberdeen and stay there until we have found him. I think she knew deep down that that wasn't an option. But I understood. Jasper was her twin. She would do anything to find him, especially since she only got him back recently.

I spent an hour talking to her calmly, telling her that we would never give up. I had every intention to keep my promise.

Eventually Rosalie nodded. She wasn't happy of course but I think she realized that she had done everything she could.

I prayed to whoever was listening that Jasper would be save.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. As always please leave a review and tell me what you thought. See you soon!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Jasper POV

I felt bad for leaving Rosalie like that but Carlisle and especially Edward were right. It wasn't safe for the Cullens if I stayed. I had already managed to get Alice hurt. 

Not on purpose of course. I had tried to defend her. But she still ended up with a bruise on her jaw. I really couldn't do anything right. Not even defending the ones I cared about.

When Newton had punched Alice, I snapped. I didn't want it to escalate like that. But the moment I saw the tears in her eyes and her shocked face I couldn't hold back anymore.

I don't know how many times my fist had collided with his face. Or his with mine for that matter. I hardly felt it. Or when Emmett pulled me off of him.

The pain only kicked in when we were already in the car. Rosalie had pressed a tissue to my bleeding nose.

Once the adrenaline had left my body, I started to realize what I had done. I had fucked up again. Like I always did.

I hadn't even noticed we were home until Rosalie gently pulled me out of the car. I told them to go inside. I had to calm down before I would be able to face Carlisle.

I opened the front door quietly but froze in my tracks the moment I heard Edward yelling upstairs.

"Carlisle, do you really want to adopt someone like that? Someone who is a danger to our family? Think about it. What if it's Esme the next time he gets angry or scared?" I held my breath and waited, hoping against odds that Carlisle would disagree. I was standing inside the doorframe holding the door open with on hand.

There was a pause upstairs. Then eventually Carlisle spoke.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe Jasper isn't yet ready to join us properly."

"No!", Rosalie yelled. "Jasper isn't dangerous! He would never hurt someone deliberately!"

"Ask Mike Newton if he agrees.", Edward said sarcastically. There was a pause again.

"He shouldn't stay here.", Edward stated calmly. "Surely you must agree. He's just going to lose control and hurt even more people."

He was right. I loved Rosalie for believing in me, but I knew she was wrong. It hurt to hear it, but the truth always hurts.

No one said a word. I let the door fall shit behind me and leaned against wall holding my side. My ribs started hurting more and more.

"Jasper!", Rosalie gasped. I looked at her and what I thought could be my family. Edward had a disgusted expression on his face. Alice stared at me with big tearful eyes.

She's scared of me...

I couldn't look at them anymore and practically ran upstairs. I locked the door to what could have been my room behind me and sank to the floor.

There was a knock on the door after a few minutes.

"Jasper please talk to me!", Rosalie pleaded. I didn't answer. The door behind me shook a bit as she tried to open it.

"Jasper please!"

I got up slowly. Edward was right. I shouldn't stay here. I shouldn't have come in the first place.

I pulled my backpack out from under the bed and started collecting my things.

I knew that Carlisle was too nice to send me away. I had to leave by myself. I really didn't want to, but I didn't want to hurt them any more than I already did. If that meant that I wouldn't be happy I would gladly pay that price.

I just hoped that Rosalie would understand. Surely not at first but eventually she would see that it was for the best.

I wrote an apology and explanation for her and left it on the pillow of my bed. Since the room was on the first floor, I had some difficulties climbing out of the window but eventually I managed to drop down onto the ground without hurting myself more.

I hitchhiked most of the way to Aberdeen. I didn't want to go back to that place, but Peter was the only person I could think of who would turn me away.

I really didn't want to run into Maria or Jim so I waited until it was dark before I snuck up towards the window of the girls room.

I knocked against it quietly. It took a few seconds before Charlottes face appeared in front of me. She stared at me dumbfounded for a moment before she quietly opened the window.

"Japer, what the hell?", she whispered.

"Hey Charlotte!", I greeted with a nervous smile.

"What are you doing here?", she asked me quietly.

"I need to speak to Peter. Can you get him for me please?"

"Jasper, Peter left.", she said and I looked at her confused. "I thought he told you."

"No, he hasn't. I tried calling him a lot, but he hardly ever answered. What happened?"

"You weren't there to protect him anymore. He left after the second time Jim punished him.", she explained. I paled.

"Shit...", I mumbled.

"He promised to visit today. So, you're lucky.", she said gently. "Jasper, what happened to you face?"

I was about to explain when she interrupted.

"You know what, I don't even want to know. Wait here!" She left the room and came back a few minutes later with some medical supplies. She sat down in front of me on the floor and wordlessly started patching up my face.

"Where's Annetta?", I asked while trying not to wince as she put something burning on my face.

"She got her own room now.", Charlotte stated and I nodded.

We fell silent while she worked on my face. Eventually there was another knock on the window and Charlotte went to open it. Peter climbed through it and froze immediately after he saw me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?", he asked.

"Nice to see you too!", I laughed. Peter shook his head and came over to hug me.

"I told you they wouldn't keep me.", I mumbled.

"I'm sorry. What are you going to do now?", he asked me.

"I figured I would spend some time with my favourite brother." I smiled cheekily.

"Oh, is that so?", he laughed. "Well you're lucky I have found somewhere nice to stay."

We spent about 2 hours in Charlotte's room talking. Peter told me about his new friends and I told him about Rose and Alice.

Once outside Peter put an arm around me and jumped up and down excitedly.

"I'm so glad you're back. I started to get bored without you.", he said. I shook my head laughing. Peter always managed to cheer me up.

"So where is this nice place of yours?", I asked him.

"You'll see.", was all he said.

Peter's new place was close to the more industrial part of the city. It was an old building which needed some work.

Inside it looked surprisingly clean. Peter led me into what I figured was the living room. There were a few people sitting around and chatting with each other.

What made me pause though was the fact that there was a mirror with white powder on the coffee table. I looked at Peter shocked.

"Everyone, that's my brother Jasper!", Peter introduced me to the room ignoring the look I just gave him. "Jasper these are James and Victoria. James owns this house." He motioned towards a blond man and a girl with bright red hair. I waved.

"Come on! You can stay in my room." Peter pulled me towards the back of the house and up the stairs.

His room was small but still bigger than my old room at Maria's. I left my backpack behind the door and sat down on the bed.

"So..." I didn't know how to start.

"So.", Peter repeated.

"Was that what I think it was on the coffee table?", I asked and raised an eyebrow. Peter laughed nervously.

"Yeah well... James kinda sells those things.", he responded. I shook my head.

"Peter..."

"As if you wouldn't try it if you had the chance!", Peter defended himself.

"Trying it once or twice and living with a dealer are two completely different things!"

"And what was I supposed to do instead, hm? I don't have a secret twin to come and get me! I didn't have much of a choice. I couldn't stay there, Jasper! You of all people should understand!", Peter yelled angrily.

"And are you one of James' costumers?", I asked ignoring the change of subject.

"Sometimes.", he shrugged. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be such a hypocrite!", he hissed. "You've done it yourself!"

"Yes weed! Not cocaine!", I hissed back. Peter sighed.

"I know you. Don't pretend like you don't want to shut it all out.", he said more gently now. I didn't answer. I didn't need to. We both knew Peter was right. "Come on! Let's go downstairs. You need to relax."

CHCHCHCHCHCHCH

It's been a bit over a week now since I've left the Cullens. Peter and I spent most of those days wandering around the city. Now that I didn't go to school anymore, I suddenly had a lot of free time. To be honest, I didn't really know what to do with it.

I had switched my phone on the day before and had been bombarded by missed calls from both Rosalie and Alice. I had winced thinking about how I made them feel but couldn't bring myself to call them back. The phone had rung one more time while it was still on, but I hadn't been able to pick up as well.

We had visited Charlotte again a few days ago after Peter drunkenly thought he needed to see her right then and there. She had looked at me with a strange look in her eyes a few times then but never said anything.

"I promised Charlotte I'd visit her again tonight.", Peter said as we walked back towards the house. "You wanna come?"

"Sure.", I replied. There was a moment of silence before I asked. "Are you and Charlotte... you know... a thing?"

Peter turned very pink very fast and I laughed.

"No. Not yet anyway.", he said nervously.

"You are so in love with her!", I mocked and he turned even pinker and playfully pushed me a bit.

"She's pretty amazing, isn't she?", he smiled and I nodded. I hadn't expected him to admit it. It was obvious, yes, but for Peter to actually admit that he was in love meant a lot.

I had underestimated how much I would miss Alice. I missed her bubbly personality, how she could talk about anything for hours. I missed the way she chewed on her lip when she was thinking.

"We have to wait until it's dark though.", Peter said and pulled me out of my thinking.

"What?", I blurted confused.

"Before we can visit Charlotte.", he explained. "Maria won't notice then."

I formed an 'oh' with my mouth and nodded.

We were back at the house by then, but it was still daylight outside and the sun wouldn't set for at least 2 hours.

"What are we gonna do until then?", I asked Peter.

"Well we could do this...", he pointed to the Playstation next to the TV. "... and this!" He pulled out a joint out of his pocket with a smirk.

We raided James' bar for a bottle of cheap whiskey and settled on the couch. Peter pulled out his lighter and I smiled.

"You've kept it!", I said.

"Of course, I did!" He sounded strangely offended. "Would you lose a birthday present?"

"No, I guess not.", I laughed.

Peter lit up the blunt and took a big drag.

"You know, James really has the best stuff."

"I've noticed that!", I laughed. The weed Peter had bought for his birthday might as well been oregano compared to what James sold him.

"Oh, come on!", Peter yelled frustrated after I once again beat him in Mortal Combat. "When did you get so good at this?"

"Emmett, one of Rose' adopted siblings, forced me to play. I got pretty good, don't you think?", I laughed. I had never been able to actually beat Emmett, but I got pretty close once or twice. And Peter was no match for him.

"How many people actually lived in that house?", Peter asked.

"Well Carlisle, Esme and 4 teenagers me excluded.", I answered with a frown. Why was he asking.

"Are they like Maria? Just in it for the money?", he growled.

"What? No! They adopted all of them. Edward was the first, he is the only one actually related to Esme. Emmett and Alice joined them a little later and then Rose a few months ago.", I explained. Peter just nodded slowly.

We had almost finished the bottle of whiskey by then. Peter turned around and looked out of the window and then to the watch on the wall.

"We should get going. We shouldn't run into Maria now.", he said and got up.

Peter and I quietly approached Charlotte's window. We were early and there was still light in the kitchen which meant that Maria and Jim where still in there.

Peter gently knocked against the glass and a few moments later Charlotte let us in.

"You're early!", she hissed after she closed the window again behind us. She wrinkled her nose and frowned at us. "Are you stoned again?"

"Maybe a bit.", Peter shrugged and she narrowed her eyes.

"What if Maria smells it when she gets in here tomorrow?", she asked worriedly.

"She won't, don't worry.", I calmed her. But the fact that she was so scared of her worried me. "She doesn't let Jim touch you, does she? Now that both of are gone." Charlotte shook her head and I sighed relieved.

"No but I still don't want any trouble."

"Don't worry, Char!", Peter smiled. "She won't notice we've ever been here." She didn't seem any calmer but didn't say anything.

"Ok you two. It's late and I have school tomorrow.", Charlotte said after some time and opened the window for us. Peter went to climb out first but turned around again and whispered something into her ear. Charlotte blushed before she laughed and gently pushed him out of the window.

I rolled my eyes before I went to follow Peter.

"Jasper!", Charlotte called and I turned to look at her. "Please call your sister."

I looked into her big pleading eyes and nodded eventually.

I climbed out of the window after Peter who waited for me hidden behind a tree. He motioned something to me but because it was dark, I couldn't tell what he wanted. I frowned and wanted to walk towards him and ask.

Suddenly someone pulled me back on my hood and turned me around.

"Well, look who we have here!", Jim mocked grinning. "I thought you left with the fancy doctor."

My stomach dropped. Jim's breath smelled like beer and cigarettes. The smell alone was enough to make me want to run for the hills.

I tried to get away, but Jim grabbed my arm and stopped me. I started struggling until he punched me in the stomach hard. I doubled over and had trouble getting air into my lungs for a moment.

"You know this is breaking and entering, right?", he smirked and bend down so that his face was next to mine.

"Did you miss me? Because I missed this!", he whispered into my ear and gently stroked my cheek before he kicked me into my still sore ribs.

I looked at Peter who was still hiding behind the tree. His eyes were huge and full of panic. I whimpered and rolled up into a protective ball.

"The other boy wasn't by far as fun as you, Jasper. He ran away almost immediately. But you, you came back.", Jim mocked Jim mocked and bend down next to me and licked my cheek before he kicked me again this time in my back.

"Stop!", Charlotte yelled from the window. My head snapped up and I looked at her desperately. What was she doing? She should stay out of this.

But had already climbed out of her window and tried to pull Jim away from me. He turned around and pushed her away as if she was made out of paper.

Peter suddenly came running towards us.

"Leave her alone!", he screamed and threw a punch at Jim. He hit him right on the nose.

Peter helped Charlotte up but before he could do anything else Jim already pulled him back. He punched my brother hard in the face.

I quickly got back to my feet and stopped Jim from punching Peter again. I used all the energy I had left holding him back.

"Go!", I yelled at both Peter and Charlotte. "What are you waiting for? Go!"

Peter looked at me one last time and then ran away pulling Charlotte with him.

I let go of Jim and took a step back.

"You little piece of shit!", he growled. I wanted to run but he was faster.

At first, I struggled but eventually I gave up fighting. I knew that I had no chance against Jim anyway.

I closed my eyes and waited for it to be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you like this new chapter. As always please leave a review :) Until next time


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Jasper POV

Jim left me outside after he was finished with me.

My whole body hurt and I was pretty sure I cracked a rib or two. I wasn't able to bring up the energy to walk back to James' house, so I just stayed where I was.

I sat awkwardly on the ground, avoiding putting too much weight on my ass. My back was leaning against the house behind me. I desperately wanted to fall unconscious just for the pain to stop but unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky.

I didn't know how much time had passed but I must have closed my eyes without noticing at some point because Peters' voice next to my face startled me.

"Shit! Jasper?", he hissed worriedly. I really didn't want to open my eyes, but I thought I had nodded.

"Jasper please wake up!" Oh, apparently, I hadn't. Peter gently shook my shoulder but even that small motion hurt all over. I moaned quietly.

"Fuck I'm sorry!", he quickly apologized.

"Jasper open your eyes!", Peter ordered and snapped his fingers in front of my face.

Which was really annoying.

"Stop that!", I mumbled and opened my eyes to glare at him. I was greeted with Peter's worried face way to close to mine.

"Are you okay?", he asked me and I nodded. I winced at the pain that caused me.

"Jasper...", Peter started.

"Just take me home please. I'm really tired.", I interrupted. He looked at me for a moment with worried eyes but nodded.

I managed to stand with some difficulties and Peter's help and we slowly and painfully started walking.

"I'm sorry I ran away.", Peter apologized halfway to the house. I had an arm draped around his shoulder and he supported me while we walked.

"I told you to go. He would have hurt you.", I said quietly.

"But I shouldn't have left you alone with him!"

"Peter stop it!"

"Look what happened!", he insisted.

"Stop it!", I growled. "I knew what I was doing. And if that meant that you and Charlotte are okay I would do it again."

Peter didn't answer. We walked for a few minutes silently before he eventually started talking again.

"Thank you, Jasper."

"You're welcome."

"You know, Charlotte would have beaten the shit out of me if I hadn't gone to get you. She's really worried.", Peter told me.

"She should be. She's the one who has to patch me up.", I joked darkly.

"At least now we never have to go back there.", Peter said ignoring my attempt at humor. I just nodded.

CHCHCHCHCHCH

It took us ages to get back to James' house. By the time we finally got there I could hardly think because of how much my entire body hurt.

"Almost there!", Peter assured me. He had to take more and more of my weight the longer we had been walking to the point where he was almost carrying me.

Charlotte opened the door for us and the reassuring smile I tried to give her seemed to worry her even more. She ushered us inside and Peter gently sat me down on the couch.

I could hear James and Victoria whispering but didn't make out any words.

Charlotte's face appeared in front of mine as she gently turned my head to see how much damage there was.

"He should be in an hospital!", she hissed angrily.

"No!", Peter, James and I said almost in unison.

"Look at him!", Charlotte said sternly. "He needs someone professional to take care of him!"

"I'm fine!" I tried to sound reassuring but all I managed was a painful whisper.

"He can't go to the hospital! Two teenage runaways living in a dealer's house. Don't you get it?", Peter asked her. She glared at him but eventually sighed and started to boss Peter around.

"Okay then get me something to patch him up with! Victoria, right? Could you please help me?", she asked her and Victoria nodded. Peter and James left the room and came back a few moments later carrying some medical supplies.

Charlotte and Victoria worked slowly and carefully. I tried to ignore the pain as well as I could, but soon tears started running down my face.

Charlotte winced when she noticed but kept going. Eventually my breathing turned quicker and quicker until Charlotte stopped cleaning an especially nasty cut.

"He's in too much pain!", she sighed and looked at Peter desperately. By then I stopped giving a fuck about what was going on around me. I just wanted the pain to go away.

"Don't you have something you could give him?", he asked James. The blond man seemed to think for a moment before he left the room and came back a minute later with a small bag with some white powder in it.

"Here." He offered it to Peter.

"What's that?", my brother asked.

"Morphine.", James shrugged and Peter paled.

"Are you sure? I mean it's quite strong.", he asked again.

I had closed my eyes and my breathing became pressed and rapid.

"Peter!", Charlotte called next to me. "Just give me the damn thing."

"How is he supposed to take that? Look at him!", Peter yelled and I winced at the volume.

"Peter!", Charlotte hissed quietly. She gently stroked my sweaty hair out of my face.

"Give me a minute!", James mumbled. There was some commotion and no one said a word for a few minutes.

Eventually Charlotte gently laid one hand against my cheek.

"Jasper?", she asked concerned. I crack my eyes open just enough to look at her.

"It hurts", I croaked.

"I know. I'm gonna give you something for the pain okay?", she gently whispered. I nodded and closed my eyes again.

I jumped when someone pushed a needle into my arm.

"Shh... It's okay.", Charlotte comforted me and gently stroked back my hair.

The effect was almost instantly. The pain was almost completely replaced by a warm feeling. I sighed and relaxed into the cushions on the couch.

"Wow that was quick.", Peter stated dryly but I almost didn't hear him.

"Jasper?", Charlotte asked and I hummed. "How are you feeling now?"

"Better", I mumbled. "I'm tired."

"Sleep! You need it.", she said but I was almost completely gone already.

CHCHCHCHCHCH

I woke up on Peter's bed instead of the air bed I usually slept on. I wondered for a moment what had happened but then it hit me.

The strange thing was that I almost wasn't in pain. I tried to remember how exactly I got there but sometime after Charlotte and Victoria started to patch me up my memory failed.

They must have given me something for the pain. I turned my head to look out of the window and the sun just started to rise. I hadn't been sleeping long then.

The door to my left opened and Peter and Charlotte quietly stepped into the room.

"Jasper!", she gasped when she saw that I was awake. "How are you feeling?"

"Ok.", I croaked and winced at the dry feeling inside my throat. Charlotte helped me to sit up and held a glass of water to my lips.

I wanted to gulp it all down at once, but she had a firm grip on it only allowing me small sips. All too soon she pulled it back and I laid down again.

"What did you give me?", I asked. I frowned at how slurred my speech sounded. The two looked at each other for a moment.

"Morphine. I'm sorry but you were in so much pain!", Peter said and sounded genuinely ashamed.

"I'm not mad. Actually, I'm thankful. I feel pretty good. It almost doesn't hurt.", I mumbled. I felt my eyes drop again.

"Sleep, Jasper.", Charlotte smiled. "You'll feel better in the morning."

CHCHCHCHCHCH

The next two days were frustrating to say the least. I wasn't able to do much but lay in bed and listen to Peter's constant chatter.

He tried his best to cheer me up but now that I was more awake, I was able to properly remember what had happened.

That caused me to have nightmares again like I did when I still lived there. They had gotten a bit better since I moved in with the Cullens.

But now they were back again. I didn't want to sleep or even close my eyes because to be honest, I was scared.

I hated feeling this weak. 

After two days I was finally allowed to leave the bed (according to Charlotte anyway) and Peter and I spent most of our time playing video games.

I was still in pain though and didn't move around much. I just sat on the couch most of the time and when Peter was doing something else, I read.

James tried to convince me into taking more of the morphine, but I refused. I knew my self-control and wouldn't risk it.

It was bad enough that I now knew what it felt like.

I thought about calling Rosalie a lot. I felt bad for how I left her. Maybe if I told her that I was fine she would move on.

Charlotte told me how Rose and Carlisle had visited her while looking for me. I didn't want them to waste their time.

Eventually, five days later I finally decided to call.

At first, I wanted to call Rosalie but I didn't really know what to say to her so I decided on Carlisle.

It rang 3 times until someone eventually picked up.

"Hello?", Carlisle answered the phone.

I didn't know what to say.

"Is someone there?", Carlisle asked.

"Carlisle.", I whispered eventually. I heard a gasp at the other end and a pause.

"Jasper? Are you alright?", he asked me.

"I'm fine. I'm just calling to let you know that I'm ok.", I said and swallowed to get the lump out of my throat. "I'm sorry I left so abruptly. I hope you don't think I'm not thankful because I am. Very much. And I'm sorry that Alice got hurt because of me and I'm sorry for having you fight with your son." I couldn't stop talking. I felt like I opened the floodgates and now the words just kept coming. "I didn't mean to run away like that! But you wouldn't have let me go and I knew I had to leave. I..."

"Jasper!", Carlisle interrupted. "Stop apologizing! No one is angry with you! Not even Edward. We are all worried. Please just come home!"

I didn't say anything for a few moments.

"I can't. I don't fit in. You'll only regret it and I don't want that."

"Jasper, please! At least stay with us until you're 18.", he pleaded.

"Thank you for believing in me. But you don't know me as well as I do. None of you do. I'm sorry it didn't work out.", I said. I wanted to talk to Rosalie as well, but I didn't think I would be able to anymore. "Please tell Rosalie that I love her very much and that I'm sorry. Tell her to stop blaming herself.", I added and hung up without waiting for a reply.

I passed Charlotte as quietly walked up the stairs. She gave me a worried look but I ignored her and simply buried myself under the blankets on my air bed.

"Jasper?", Charlotte gently asked a few minutes later. "Are you ok?" I felt her sitting down on the bed next to me.

"Go away.", I mumbled into the pillow.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Go away!", I snapped.

"Okay...", she said quietly and sounded a little hurt. I instantly felt sorry for snapping at her. But before I could apologize, she already left.

I curled up and wished for oblivion. I wanted to sleep but was too scared of the nightmares I almost definitely would have.

Peter came in about an hour after Charlotte and tried to coax me into talking but I sent him away as well.

He sighed and left me alone with my thoughts again.

Sometime after that I could hear the door open again and was about to ask Peter if he hadn't heard me the first time but when I unburied myself from the blankets, I was surprised to find James standing in front of me.

"I thought I'd repeat my offer.", he said with a smile and sat down next to me. He opened his hand and inside was a small plastic bag with a few pills inside.

"The first one's free.", he smiled. I stared at him for a moment.

And then I took the bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you liked this chapter. Please review and tell me what you thought. Thanks for reading and see you next time!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Carlisle POV

Jasper left a bit over 2 months ago and I think everyone could see how it affected the family. 

Rosalie, who had come out of her shell so much these last few months had now started to slowly crawl back in there. She almost completely stopped talking except yelling at Edward. Sometimes she would talk to Emmett in his room but never to me or Esme.

Alice was the same in her own way. Although she still talked to us her siblings, she seemed to have almost completely lost her bubbly personality. She was a lot quieter.

The rest of my children didn't seem like they were affected much by Jasper's disappearance, but Emmett sometimes whined about how he missed Jasper's jokes when they played video games.

And Edward, he finally noticed how much good Jasper had brought to the family. He apologized over and over again to Rosalie but of course she had none of it.

Even Bella missed Jasper and she barely knew him.

All of us barely knew him, Rosalie included. We didn't have the time to get to know him.

I was too quick to trust Edward's judgment and that eventually drove Jasper away. And that's something I would never forgive myself for.

Jasper never reached out again after that one phone call and no one ever picked up when we tried to call.

I tried to call Charlotte again a few times, but she too never picked up.

I didn't have much of a choice but to trust Jasper when he told me that he was fine.

The way he talked about himself, how he thought that he didn't fit in and that he had to leave. None of that was true and the fact that Jasper obviously thought it was troubled me deeply.

I also thought that Rosalie was upset with me for not keeping my promise to bring her brother back. She probably thought I had given up.

I didn't. I just didn't know what to do next. I talked to the police, I filed a missing person report and I was at the end of my wits.

I sighed and shook my head in an attempt to focus on the paperwork in front of me. I had trouble concentrating lately.

Someone gently knocked on my door and Esme stuck her head through the door.

"I just wanted to check if you need anything.", she said and smiled gently at me. I smiled back and motioned her to come inside. I pulled her onto my lap and lay my head on her shoulder. I felt her chuckle softly and she started playing with my hair.

For a few moments I allowed myself to get lost in the feeling of her fingers running through my hair and over my scalp. But all too soon I pulled my head back.

"Thank you! That's all I need.", I smiled and kissed her gently.

"Have you heard anything from Jasper?", she asked me quietly. I shook my head.

"The police is looking for him but so far they have nothing. Jasper's smart. He doesn't want to be found so he won't draw attention to him.", I said defeated. "Esme, I don't know what to do! I really want to bring him home, not just because I have to keep my promise to Rosalie but because I really miss him!"

"We all do!", Esme said quietly and gently touched my cheek. "Maybe he'll call soon."

I smiled at her.

"Well, you have to go back to work and I have to prepare dinner!", she cheered and got back to her feet. She kissed my cheek and went back downstairs.

I sighed and once again tried to focus on my work.

CHCHCHCHCHCH

It was two weeks later when there was finally news.

My phone rang while the children, Esme and me all sat in the living room watching a movie together. It was a forced event, a desperate try to have some quality time together. It was Esme's idea and that's probably the reason none of the kids said no.

I quickly excused myself and went into the kitchen to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Dr. Cullen?"

"Charlotte!? Is that you?", I asked hopefully.

"Yeah… uhm… Dr Cullen I think we need your help!", Charlotte said in a worried voice. I felt my stomach drop. I signalled Edward to pause the movie as I walked back into the living room. I immediately had all eyes on me.

"Ok Charlotte, from the top please. What's wrong?", I asked her calmly. Rosalie's eyes widened when I said Charlotte's name. She looked at Alice who had a similar expression on her face.

"Okay uhm, when Jim beat him up so badly he was in so much pain and he didn't want to go to the hospital but then James said he could help him and I didn't want him to suffer any longer so I agreed and I really didn't think it would be a problem. And now it has started to become a problem. I don’t know how to help him and Peter doesn't trust you but even he can see that Jasper has a problem and I said that you may be able to help but he doesn't trust you, but I called anyway. I'm sorry if...", she rambled without pausing to breathe.

"Charlotte!", I interrupted her. "What's wrong?" I tried to sound calm, but I wasn't sure if I managed it convincingly.

"I think Jasper has started taking drugs.", she whispered. I closed my eyes in defeat.

"What kind of drugs, Charlotte?", I asked dreading the answer.

"I- I don't know. I don't know much about drugs, but James gave him morphine when he was hurt. I don't know if it's still that or something else.", she admitted. "I'm sorry. I should have called you sooner!"

"It's not your fault! I'm glad you called me now. Where is he now? I need to see him to know how bad it really is."

"What's bad!?", Rosalie asked standing next to me.

"I'll text you the address! Thank you so much!", Charlotte said and hung up.

"I'm going back to Aberdeen!", I announced.

"I'm coming with you!", Rosalie immediately said but I shook my head.

"No, I don't think that's a good idea." She wanted to protest but I put my hand on her shoulder gently before she could talk. "I need you to prepare Jasper's room again. I hope I can take him home."

"Do you want me to come?", Esme asked.

"No, I think it's best I go alone. By what Charlotte told me, Jasper isn't in the best state at the moment. I don't want you to see that."

"What happened?", Rosalie demand.

"I'll tell you when he's back, ok?" I gently squeezed her shoulder. She nodded eventually but obviously wasn't happy with it.

"I'll call you when I'm on my way back!", I said and went to get my emergency bag just in case.

CHCHCHCHCHCH

The address Charlotte gave me was an old building in a more industrial part of town. It desperately needed some work done.

I parked the car a few blocks away and texted Charlotte that I would be there in 5 minutes.

I didn't dare ringing on the doorbell, after all I had no idea who else was inside. It was in the middle of the night but still I could hear music coming out of the house.

I kept my distance and waited for Charlotte to come outside. It took her a few minutes but eventually the front door opened.

"Dr Cullen?", she whispered and closed the door behind her.

"I'm here!", I said.

"Thank you for coming! I hope I'm not bothering you."

"No not at all! Thank you for calling!", I said. "Where's Jasper?"

"He's inside with Peter. James and some of his friends have a party going on and I don't know when they're leaving.", she said apologetically. I nodded.

"It's fine. You can fill me in on what happened in the meantime."

Charlotte told me about what had happened in every little detail. She told me how Jasper had protected her and Peter from Jim and how he paid for that. She told me how he refused to go to a hospital and how she had to patch him up.

Honestly, I was impressed. Charlotte seemed to be very skilled in that area.

"Have you ever thought about becoming a doctor or a nurse?", I asked her. She laughed dryly and shook her head.

"I always wanted to become a surgeon when I was a kid but when you grow up in the foster system you soon learn to dream of more realistic things.", she said.

"There are programs to get you into medical school. I'm sure you could make it!", I objected but she just shook her head.

"I don't think so. Not after dropping out of school and running away. No, it's a pipe dream."

I wanted to say something, but her phone started buzzing. She quickly read the text message.

"Peter is asking where I am. I better get back.", she informed me. "How are we going to do this?"

"Well I think it would be best to wait until the party in there..." I pointed at the house. "... is over. I don't want to run in any of James' customers."

"I will call you once their gone, ok?", she said and after I nodded Charlotte went back inside.

I waited for another hour our two in my car and it was getting harder to stay awake. I should have taken coffee with me when I left Forks. I increased the volume of my phone so I would definitely hear it if it rang.

My eyes must have slipped closed at one moment because my loud ringtone startled me.

"Charlotte?"

"James and his guests left. We're alone.", she said quickly and hung up again.

I stretched my legs outside and yawned before walking towards the house. I left the emergency bag in the car since Charlotte didn't say anything on that matter.

She opened the door for me and ushered me inside immediately closing it again. There was a young man standing behind her eyeing me with distrust.

"Peter, right?", I assumed and offered him my hand. He just looked at it and then back at me.

"I just want to tell you that I don't trust you.", he hissed.

"Yes, thank you, Peter. You've made that quite clear.", Charlotte said and rolled her eyes.

"I don't get it! Why do you trust him so much? If he and his family were so great then why is Jasper upstairs high as a fucking kite?", he asked her and my heart clenched. He's what? 

"You don't have to like me! But I think I would be able to help Jasper. You have to understand that we never wanted him to leave. And we have tried everything we could to bring him back home. No one blamed him for what happened.", I explained to Peter in a calm voice. He snorted.

"Yeah? What about Edward?", he asked dryly.

"Edward has since noticed his mistakes and would very much like to apologize.", I said. "But I'm not here to discuss my family with you, no offense. I'm here because Charlotte is worried. Now if you two are as close as it seems you should trust her judgment more. I know that you probably just want to protect your family, but Jasper is part of my family as well."

Peter didn't say anything for a while but only stared at me.

"He's upstairs.", he said eventually, squeezed Charlotte's hand, turned around and walked into what I assumed was the living room.

"I'll take you upstairs.", Charlotte said and I followed her up the stairs. "At first Jasper and Peter shared a room but once I moved in as well Jasper moved upstairs into the attic. I hardly ever go up there, to be honest. Jasper doesn't talk to any of us a lot anymore. He just spends his time in his room.", she explained to me while we walked upstairs. I just nodded.

Charlotte stopped in front of the door to what I assumed was Jasper's room and knocked gently. She stuck her head through the door.

"Jasper?", she called quietly. "Are you awake?" No one answered.

Charlotte sighed and fully opened the door. I followed her into the room and sighed.

I had hoped that I had worried unnecessarily. But I hadn't.

Jasper lay on an old mattress seemingly in a deep sleep. His chest was moving way to slow for my liking.

Besides the mattress there wasn't much else in the room. There was a backpack in a corner with some clothes but no furniture.

On the floor next to the mattress were a candle, some smoked cigarettes and a bottle of pills. I tentatively picked it up and read the label.

I closed my eyes in defeat and sighed.

"Oh Jasper...", I mumbled.

I knelt down next to him to check his pulse but as soon my fingers touched his neck Jasper flinched and his eyes shot open.

He grabbed my wrist and stared at me with big frightened eyes for a second before he recognized me.

"Carlisle?", he asked with a frown.

"Hello Jasper.", I nodded awkwardly not knowing what to say. He sighed and pulled himself into a sitting position.

"What are you doing here?... Wait how did you even know where to find me?" He looked at Charlotte accusingly and she winced apologetically.

"Peter and I are worried Jasper! We tried to talk to you, but you never let us. I didn't know what to do anymore.", she justified herself.

"Did you bring Rose?", Jasper asked me.

"No. I came alone.", I shook my head and he nodded. He slowly got to his feet, picked up the pills bottle and walked towards the open door. I stopped him by taking his wrist again and he turned around.

"What?", he glared at me. I was taken aback. The Jasper I knew was very careful to be polite, he ever snapped at any of us. He sighed.

"Look, I appreciate it that you're worried. But I'm fine! So, thanks for stopping by but I don't need any help.

"Then what's that in your hand?", Peter asked who had appeared in the door frame leaning against it. Jasper glared at him. "Remember when you judged me for occasionally joining James when he had fun downstairs."

"I remember.", Jasper hissed. "And I also remember you calling me a hypocrite at the time. Who's the hypocrite now?" Peter's eyes narrowed but before he could say anything, I stopped him.

"Jasper, please. We all miss you, especially Rosalie! Please let me take you home. We can work all of this out together. I can help you.", I said in a calm and gentle voice.

"I don't need help! Now, if you don't mind, I'll go and take a shower!", he said and promptly stormed off.

"That went well.", Peter mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. See you next time!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Carlisle POV

It was close to 6 am when I left Aberdeen.

Jasper sat on the seat next to me staring out of the window ignoring me. He was angry with me for forcing him to come back with me, but I didn't have any other choice. I definitely wouldn't have let him stay there.

He was still underage. I was his legal guardian until his 18th birthday if he liked it or not.

It was still hard to get him to get into the car though.

When Jasper came back into his room after the shower, he was obviously high. His eyes were glossy and slightly unfocused. He reacted slower than usual. It was painful to see him like that.

Charlotte and Peter had left the room almost immediately after Jasper went into the bathroom. She had apologized again and Peter kept silent.

Jasper's hair was wet and he was only wearing his jeans when he came back into the room. Although he was still muscular, I could see that he had lost weight. I had to suppress a gasp when I saw the full extent of Jasper's scars. There were a few new ones from the incident with Jim Charlotte told me about. His pale skin made them look even worse.

He flopped down onto the mattress and light a cigarette.

"Why are you still here?", Jasper asked after a minute of silence.

"I won't leave until you come home with me.", I said looking into his grey eyes.

"Well you're in for a long wait then.", he shrugged and stretched the 'o' in 'long' to make a point. He giggled.

"Jasper why won't you come home with me?", I asked him gently.

"Because, believe it or not, I don't want to!", he said getting irritated again.

"Jasper, we both know that's not true.", I stated calmly. He didn't answer but only glared at me. But his eyes showed something else. It vanished so fast that I couldn't tell what it had been.

No one said a word for a few minutes.

"You know, I can make you come with me.", I eventually threatened half-heartedly. I didn't want to force him but at this point I knew I didn't have much of a choice.

"How?", he snorted not taking this seriously at all.

"Well for example, I could call social services. They would make you come with me and your friends would most certainly be sent somewhere else."

That worked. Jasper paled and his eyes widened.

"You wouldn't...", he whispered uncertainly.

"Try me.", I said and hated myself for it. I hoped he wouldn't see through my bluff. Jasper didn't say anything for a while. I gave him time to think about it. But with every second he was silent I grew more and more anxious. If he would resist again, I really had to call CPS. And that was something I wanted to avoid.

"Fine.", he eventually hissed. I felt relief flood me but forced myself not to sigh.

Now, with Jasper finally in the car with me I started to dread our arrival in Forks. How would Rosalie react when she saw Jasper like that.

I had a brief talk with Charlotte before we left. I didn't want Peter and her to stay there either but couldn't exactly bring then home with me.

So, I offered to pay for a hotel until they both found a job and somewhere better to stay.

Even Peter seemed very thankful for that. He also looked relieved that Jasper decided to come with me. I could see he still didn't particularly like me but at least he didn't hate me anymore.

I took my time driving home, hoping that the children were already at school when we arrived.

Thankfully, that was the case. The garage was empty except for Esme's car.

Jasper got out of the car sleepily. He had fallen asleep halfway through the journey home.

Esme ran up to us when we went into the house immediately hugging Jasper.

"Oh, thank God! I've missed you!", she said with tears in her eyes. Jasper tensed up but still gave her a smile.

"I've missed you too.", he said quietly. He stepped out of her hug and turned to look at me.

"Can I go upstairs? I'm tired.", he asked me dryly and I nodded. He immediately turned around and left Esme and me standing in the hallway.

"Is he alright?", my wife asked worriedly. I didn't know what to say. 'Yeah, he's just high' didn't really sound reassuring.

"He will be.", I said instead.

"Come on, you look exhausted. You can tell me the whole story later.", she smiled.

A few hours later, after I had a quick nap, Esme and I sat in the kitchen. I had a cup of coffee in front of me.

"No, Carlisle! Please tell me you are joking!", she cried after I finished telling her what happened in Aberdeen.

"I wish I was.", I mumbled sadly.

"But Jasper's so smart. Why would he even start doing something like that?", she asked me.

"I don't know. But I think that he just couldn't cope anymore. That he had never chosen to go and start taking something. But he was offered something, he was practically surrounded by it. And he probably was in pain, not just physically. I kind of understand."

Esme nodded thoughtfully.

"The children will be home soon. I better start preparing something to eat. You must be hungry as well.", she said and gently touched my cheek and I smiled.

When the rest of my family came home from school I had just finished eating.

Rosalie nearly sprinted towards me with a hopeful look on her face.

"He's upstairs.", I smiled. Her eyes widened in disbelief and then filled with tears and she hugged me.

"Thank you so much!", she cried into my shoulder. I gently patted her back.

"Well what are you waiting for?", Emmett asked. "Go upstairs!"

She didn't even wait for him to finish talking but ran upstairs.

I looked at my other children. Alice had tears in her eyes just as Rosalie did and Emmett grinned like a child who just bought a huge bag of sweets.

Edward looked slightly nervous. He still had to apologize to Jasper.

Rosalie didn't come back downstairs for a few hours and when she eventually did, she had a very uncomfortable looking Jasper with her.

It looked like they had both cried. Rosalie more than Jasper though. I looked at them sympathetically.

Jasper actually looked sober now and again I suppressed a sigh of relief. That at least meant that he hadn't been able to take more so far.

I wasn't sure if he managed to take some pills with him from Aberdeen.

And I also wondered whether withdrawal would kick in. So far, he seemed fine but I didn't know how frequently he took those pills.

I had to ask him if he told Rosalie. I didn't want to tell the family anything they didn't need to know. It wasn't my story to tell.

Well except for Esme.

Alice stood up from her place on the couch when she saw Jasper come downstairs. She smiled at him, but he avoided her eyes and instead stared at his hands.

I frowned and so did Alice. She approached him slowly.

"I'm really glad you're back!", she said happily. His eyes widened and his head snapped up to stare at her in disbelief.

"You are?", he whispered.

"Yes of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?", she chuckled.

"But you got hurt because of me. I thought you hated me.", Jasper mumbled.

I could practically feel the insecurity pour off him.

A small part of me was amazed how different Jasper was again now that he was sober. He was quiet and introverted again.

"No Jasper! I don't hate you! I know that you didn't want me to get hurt. You were defending me and I didn't even get the chance to thank you.", Alice said gently and slowly went to hug him. She paused for a moment to see if he would pull away but when he didn’t, she pulled him into her arms.

Jasper hugged her back gently. Alice moved her head to whisper something into his ear and I could hear Jasper chuckle.

Edward had meanwhile appeared in the living room and cleared his throat.

Jasper jumped and immediately let go of Alice and took a step back.

"Edward, I...", he breathed anxiously.

"No let me talk!", Edward interrupted. Jasper swallowed. "I've been too quick to judge you! I didn't even try to get to know you and immediately assumed the worst. I am truly sorry for that!"

Jasper stared at him with big eyes and eventually nodded.

"Rosalie, the same goes to you. I'm sorry.", Edward apologized.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence until Esme spoke.

"Well you must be hungry, Jasper.", she smiled and gently pulled him into the kitchen.

It was late in the evening when I gently knocked on the door to Jasper's room. I opened it and found him sitting on the bed starring out of the window. He didn’t seem to have heard me come in, so I cleared my throat to get his attention. He flinched and I felt like kicking myself. 

Jasper sat up straighter on the bed and waited for me to start talking.

"May I?", I asked and motioned at the end of the bed. He nodded and I sat down making sure to leave some space between me and him. I didn't want him to feel like I was invading his personal space.

"I wanted to talk to you about the pills.", I started. I could hear him sigh and he hung his head.

"I'm sorry how I talked to you back in Aberdeen.", he mumbled.

"Don't worry about that. Have you told Rosalie?", I asked him, but he shook his head.

"Okay. Me neither. What I want to know is why. And how long."

Jasper paused seemingly thinking about what to answer.

"I don't know.", he eventually admitted. "I've always had the feeling that I would easily slip into something like that, so I never wanted to try."

I could feel the 'but' that was about to come in the brief pause he made to think about how to continue.

"But then Peter and I visited Charlotte and Jim got me. I was in so much pain and to be honest I didn't even care anymore. I just wanted the pain to stop. When I woke up, I felt so good. But I knew that I couldn't do that again. And I tried. I really did! But I couldn't sleep anymore after that. The nightmares were back and it was even worse than before."

Jasper had nightmares? I can't say that I didn't suspect it, but I was still surprised that he never told any of us.

"And the James offered me something and it helped. I wasn't in pain anymore. I could sleep and forget everything else.", Jasper continued.

"And how long did you take them?", I asked calmly.

"Two months. Maybe more.", he shrugged.

"Jasper, you know that you will go into withdrawal soon, right?", I informed him calmly. He looked at me with a strange look in his eyes.

"I don't want to.", he said quietly.

"I know, but that's not something you can avoid when you stop taking them. Now, I know..."

"If.", he interrupted me.

"What?", I asked confused.

"If I stop.", he said avoiding my eyes. "You're talking about this like I want to."

"Jasper, do you really think that's a good idea?"

"I don't care if it's a good idea. It helps.", he insisted.

"Yes, I know you believe that. But only for a short while. We could get you help. You don't need it!", I said trying to convince him.

"You don't understand! I can't sleep without it!"

"Jasper...", I sighed but he just shook his head.

"No!"

There was a pause in which none of us said a word.

"I don't think we'll get here somewhere tonight. We will continue talking tomorrow.", I eventually said getting up from the bed. "Good night Jasper!"

He just nodded and buried himself under the blanket.

I sighed as I closed the door behind me. I had a feeling the hard part had only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. As always please tell me what you thought and leave a review. They really motivate me to keep writing. Until next time :)


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Jasper POV

I hadn't exactly expected Carlisle to suddenly show up at James' house.

The fact that Charlotte had called him surprised me even more. I didn't even know they knew each other.

I felt a bit betrayed by her but a small part of me was thankful. She said she was worried and I guess she really was.

The fact that she would call for help just showed that she was a good friend.

But still, I didn't want their help. I didn't need it. For the first time in ages I was fine, I felt good. Better even than when I was with the Cullens before I ruined it.

After my small fight with Peter I left to take a shower. But before that I had to at least get somewhat high. I was sure Carlisle wouldn't just leave and I really didn't want to have this discussion with him while coming down.

He was of course still in my room when I returned trying to convince me to come with him.

And then he started blackmailing me. And really, what choice did I have? He threatened to call CPS and I wasn't sure if he was bluffing or not.

I didn't want Peter and Charlotte to be sent somewhere else, probably apart from each other, so I reluctantly agreed.

I actually fell asleep on the car ride back to Forks and was only woken up by Carlisle gently calling my name when we already were inside the garage.

I was slightly disoriented for a moment while I followed Carlisle into the house and before I knew it, I was already hugged by Esme.

I really missed her. But I felt strangely ashamed for being high and didn't want her to see me like that.

So, I disappeared into the guest room as fast as I could and buried myself under the blankets. But only after I pulled the small bottle of pills out of my backpack and pushed it between the mattress and bed.

I started to regret taking something that morning. I didn't want Rosalie to notice something. As far as I knew she didn't know about the drugs.

So, I tried to sleep to sober up a bit.

I woke up by the sound of cars on the driveway and immediately I felt nervous. I hadn't seen Rose in months and I had no idea how she would react.

I went into the bathroom to splash cold water into my face to wake up properly.

I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed.

‘I look like shit...’

Rosalie was already standing in the guest room when I stepped out of the bathroom. I froze dead in my tracks not knowing what to do.

"Jasper!", she breathed with tears in her eyes. I smiled awkwardly at her, but she already came running towards me and pulled me into a hug.

She sobbed into my shoulder for a few minutes and I just held her. I could feel tears forming in my eyes and furiously blinked them away.

Eventually she stepped out of my arms and glared at me.

"You idiot!", she snapped but wasn't quite able to stop smiling.

"I'm sorry.", I mumbled. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Well you did! But I'm glad you're back. We've all missed you.", she smiled and hugged me again.

We talked for a few hours after that (she started crying again a few times and once even I did) until my stomach started growling loudly.

Rose chuckled and pulled me with her downstairs to get something to eat.

Alice stood up from her place on the couch when she saw us come downstairs.

I could see her smiling but I avoided her eyes. Instead I found my own hands suddenly very interesting.

I didn't want to look at her. I didn't want to see the hate that was most certainly in her eyes. I wouldn't be able to take it.

She came towards me slowly and smiled reassuringly.

"I'm really glad you're back!", she said happily.

I felt my eyes widen and my head snapped up. I locked my eyes with hers and searched for anything that looked like hate or fear in them but all I could find was happiness and relief.

I was confused.

"You are?", I whispered barely audible.

"Yes of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?", she said in a tone that sounded like a 'oh silly you'.

"But you got hurt because of me. I thought you hated me.", I mumbled confused. Why didn't she hate me or was afraid of me? I just didn't get it.

"No Jasper! I don't hate you! I know that you didn't want me to get hurt. You were defending me and I didn't even get the chance to thank you.", Alice said gently and slowly went to hug me. She paused for a moment as if to check if I was fine with that or would pull away but when I didn’t, she pulled me into her arms.

I hugged her back gently not believing my luck.

Alice moved her head, so her mouth was next to my ear.

"I've missed you helping me when I pretended to be bad at math.", she whispered into my ear and I chuckled.

Someone cleared his throat and I jumped slightly. Edward stood in the living room in front of us.

I immediately let go of Alice and took a step back. I didn't want him to assume I was hurting her.

"Edward, I...", I started to apologize.

"No let me talk!", he interrupted me. I swallowed. "I've been too quick to judge you! I didn't even try to get to know you and immediately assumed the worst. I am truly sorry for that!"

I stared at him unable to answer. I didn't expect that. And he didn't even look like he was lying.

"Rosalie, the same goes to you. I'm sorry.", Edward apologized.

She didn't answer either. No one said a word for a few moments until Esme took my hand.

"Well you must be hungry, Jasper.", she smiled and gently pulled me into the kitchen.

She was right. I was starving.

After dinner I went back into the guest room to read. At least that's what I told Rose.

I desperately needed another hit. Staring out of the window, all my thoughts were focused on it. I dreamed about how good it would make me feel.

Someone cleared their throat and I nearly jumped out of my skin. 

Carlisle stood before me and I sat up straighter on the bed. I fought the urge to pull my knees up to my chest.

"May I?", he asked and pointed at the end of the bed. I nodded tentatively and he sat down, leaving some space between us.

"I wanted to talk to you about the pills.", he started. I couldn't help but sigh and hung my head. Of course, that's why he was here.

"I'm sorry how I talked to you back in Aberdeen.", I mumbled avoiding the topic. And I meant it.

"Don't worry about that. Have you told Rosalie or Alice?", he asked me instead. I shook my head.

"Okay. Me neither. What I want to know is why. And how long."

I had to think about what to say.

"I don't know.", I whispered after a few moments. "I've always had the feeling that I would easily slip into something like that, so I never wanted to try."

I paused again, not knowing how to continue. I didn't know how much Charlotte had told him. I eventually settled on the truth.

"But then Peter and I visited Charlotte and Jim got me.", I continued. "I was in so much pain and to be honest I didn't even care anymore. I just wanted the pain to stop. When I woke up, I felt so good. But I knew that I couldn't do that again. And I tried. I really did! But I couldn't sleep anymore after that. The nightmares were back and it was even worse than before."

I paused again for a second. 

"And the James offered me something and it helped. I wasn't in pain anymore. I could sleep and forget everything else.", I finished.

"And how long did you take them?", he asked calmly. I didn't know how he was able to stay so calm. Probably because he was a doctor.

"Two months. Maybe more.", I shrugged after thinking about it.

"Jasper, you know that you will go into withdrawal soon, right?", he stated matter-of-factly. I locked my eyes with his.

"I don't want to.", I said quietly.

"I know, but that's not something you can avoid when you stop taking them. Now, I know..."

"If.", I interrupted. Why was he talking about this like I already agreed?

"What?"

"If I stop.", I said coldly looking away from his eyes again. "You're talking about this like I want to."

"Jasper, do you really think that's a good idea?"

"I don't care if it's a good idea. It helps.", I pressed out between clenched teeth.

"Yes, I know you believe that. But only for a short while. We could get you help. You don't need it!", he tried to convince me again.

"You don't understand! I can't sleep without it!", I snapped.

"Jasper...", he sighed but I just shook my head.

"No!"

There was a pause in which none of us said a word.

"I don't think we'll get here somewhere tonight. We will continue talking tomorrow.", Carlisle eventually sighed and got up from the bed. "Good night Jasper!"

I just nodded and buried myself under the blankets again.

I waited until I heard the door being closed and jumped up again pulling out the pills from under the mattress.

I spilled some into my hand and thought about it for a moment. Silently counting how many I had left and cursed to myself. I would run out in less than 5 days.

But even a small town like Forks had dealers, I was sure about that.

Carlisle wanted me to get clean.

Now I didn't want to do of that. I didn't think I needed to. I was fine the way it was.

I had to be careful. Hopefully Carlisle would just continue working like he used to. That meant I wouldn't see him a lot.

I eventually fell into a not quite restful sleep after hours of thinking about how to proceed.

I woke up twice that night.

Everytime I woke up screaming and tossing around. I lay still holding my breath and listening if someone woke up and came checking on me but thankfully no one did.

It was shortly after 6am by then and I was too upset to go back to sleep.

So, I as quietly as possible walked out into the garden. I sat down under the same tree on the border to the forest I've always sat under.

I smoked one cigarette after the other hoping it would help. My hands shook and I had developed a terrible headache. I desperately wanted to go back inside and take some of the pills I knew were there. I already regretted my decision.

But I had come up with a plan and I would stick with it. Even if that meant I had to lie to Carlisle.

Speaking of the devil, Carlisle came up to me about an hour later. He sat down next to me and looked at me sympathetically when he noticed my shaking hands.

"Carlisle?", I said after a few moments of silence.

"Yes?", he asked.

"I think I need help...", I whispered. I felt kinda bad. I was just telling him what he wanted to hear.

"It's alright, Jasper. I'm sure it will all be fine in the end.", he said and gently laid one hand onto my shoulder. I tensed and regretted the instinctive reaction because Carlisle immediately pulled his hand back. He looked at me with sad eyes. "Come on, let's go inside."

I nodded and quickly got up. My headache had worsened over the last hour and I started feeling a bit dizzy and sick.

Withdrawal sucks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. As always please review. Until next time :)


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Jasper POV

It took one week until detox was over and Carlisle was with me throughout almost all of it.

I had almost started to love him for that if I hadn't hated him so much for making me do this.

But I had a plan. And this plan just included Carlisle seeing me go through withdrawal. It was the only way to convince him that I really stopped taking anything.

It was almost ridiculous how easily he believed me when I told him that I didn't bring the pills with me from Aberdeen.

Some small part of me was feeling bad for lying to him like that. But he had blackmailed me into coming back to Forks. It was only fair.

Okay maybe it wasn't. But I didn't care for the most part. And the small part of me that did care was easily ignored.

Carlisle had told the rest of the family that I had the flu. He too believed it was better not to tell them what was really going on.

Rosalie and Alice both sat with me for a few hours each day and I had to really focus on not slipping and saying something about the drugs.

While Carlisle was at work and the others at school Esme sat with me. She gently rubbed my back when I threw up into a bucket and she whispered reassuringly into my ear when I begged for drugs. I knew Carlisle told her.

The hardest part was not to give in and take the pills I hid under my bed. I knew they were there almost taunting me with their presence. But in order for my plan to work I had to keep strong.

I hardly slept during that week. I was either in too much pain or nightmares woke me up soon after falling asleep.

So, when detox was over that was the first thing I did. I slept.

I still had nightmares of course but I actually managed to sleep for a few hours without waking up.

CHCHCHCHCH

On Friday, ten days after my last pills Carlisle drove me to what looked like a church community center in Port Angeles after dinner. He didn't really say much about where we were going until we arrived.

"What are we doing here?", I asked him raising an eyebrow.

"It's a meeting. Kind of like AA but for teenagers. There's nothing like it in Forks. Now I will only drive you here tonight. I expect you to go here every week for the next 2 months at least.", he explained. I stared at him. Every week?! "I know you don't like it. But please at least try it. It could really help you."

I didn't have much of a choice, now did I? So, I nodded and got out of the car. Carlisle said he would come and pick me up again in one and a half hours.

So, I sat there for one and a half hours listening to other people talking about their problems. I felt bad for all of them. But I sure wouldn't start complaining about my life now. Especially not to strangers I've never met.

So, I just sat there not talking to anyone.

When it was over, I still had to wait 15 minutes for Carlisle to pick me up.

I sat down on the curb stone and pulled my cigarettes out of the pocket of my hoodie.

"You know those will kill you, don't you?", someone behind me said effectively startling me. I jumped and turned around.

The man standing behind me was the group leader of the meeting. I wasn't sure but I thought his name was Garrett. I didn't really listen to what he said during the meeting.

"You're new, right?", he asked smiling down at me. I nodded and turned around again lighting my cigarette.

"You didn't say anything during the meeting.", Garrett said and sat down next to me. I just shrugged. I didn't want to talk to him.

But he apparently wanted to talk.

"I know it can suck to be sober at first. Believe me, I've been there. But it gets better! What's your name?"

I didn't answer right away.

"Jasper.", I eventually mumbled after a few moments.

"Hello Jasper.", he said in this typical support group voice and chuckled. I didn't.

To be honest, I didn't completely know why I was in such a bad mood. All these people talking about how much they craved drugs just made me want it more.

And the fact that I had to go back there again didn't help either.

"You know, Jasper, you won't get better if you don't start talking.", Garrett sighed when I didn't react to his joke. Now that nearly made me laugh.

"I'm not here because I want to get better!", I snapped. "I didn't want to come. But my -" I had to pause to find a word that fitted Carlisle. "- foster father made me. I don't need help!"

"Obviously.", he said. He didn't get up though. He opened his mouth to start talking again when thankfully Carlisle silver Mercedes pulled up on the parking lot.

"That's my ride.", I said before Garrett could even make a sound and quickly got up.

I shut the door behind me cutting off his goodbye.

Carlisle looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What...?", I started to ask until I noticed the still burning cigarette in my hand.

"Oh... sorry!", I mumbled and pulled down the window to throw it out. Carlisle nodded approvingly and started driving.

"So?", Carlisle asked after a few minutes of silence. "How was it?"

I just shrugged. He wouldn't like my answer, so I just kept quiet.

Carlisle hummed next to me as if I had answered anyway and nodded knowingly.

"Well maybe the one next week is better.", he said optimistically. I snorted.

"Yeah about that.", I said. "If you won't take me, then how am I supposed to get there?" 

"Esme agreed to let you use her car. She doesn't need it much anyway.", Carlisle explained. I raised an eyebrow. They trusted me that much?

"And what am I supposed to tell Rose?"

"Well I thought about telling her that you are going to group therapy. After all that's not too far from the truth.", he shrugged. I was impressed to be honest. I didn't expect Carlisle to lie to his family like that. I agreed that it was the best for all of us but still. Impressive.

CHCHCHCHCHCH

One week later I had to go to another meeting. I had started taking my pills again the night after the first one. Just to be able to sleep. I wasn't about to take then during the day. That would be too obvious. But at night, when no one saw, I would take one or two.

I didn't see the problem. After all they helped me sleep.

Carlisle didn't suspect anything yet. At least I didn't think he did.

Since I used less of them now, they lasted longer than expected but by then I had started to run out.

I wasn't able to get any more yet since I hardly ever was on my own. At least not in public.

But I had a good excuse for going out on my own thanks to Carlisle.

So, after dinner Esme gave me her car keys with a reassuring smile. Carlisle stopped me before I was gone though.

"I'll see you back here in a few hours.", he said and it sounded vaguely like a question. I just nodded. No doubt he would stay up waiting for me.

I did actually go to the meeting. Not because I thought it would help me. No, I just wasn't sure if they would inform Carlisle when I didn't show up.

But like last time, I just sat in the back and let other people talk.

When it was over, I once again sat down outside on the curb stone to smoke.

This time I heard Garrett coming before he sat down next to me.

"Glad to see you came back!", he said lightly.

"I didn't have much of a choice.", I muttered breathing out smoke.

"Still, you came. Are you waiting for your dad to pick you up again?", he asked. I tensed at the word 'dad'.

"He's not my dad!", I hissed quietly. I didn't know why Garrett calling Carlisle my dad made me so angry, but it did.

"Whatever. Are you?", he pressed and I just held up the car keys in response.

"They already trust you that much, huh.", Garrett chuckled. I just shrugged.

"Answer me one question. If you drove here yourself and you say you don't want to be here, then why are you? Why not go somewhere else in the meantime?", he asked in a strange tone of voice.

"Because -", I said and stretched the word. "You would just tell my foster parents that I didn't show up."

Garrett just nodded but there was a strange look in his eyes.

They wouldn't!

That changed everything.

I got to my feet and put out my finished cigarette.

"I really have to go now!", I said to Garrett and walked back to Esme's car. I didn't wait for a response.

I drove around a while until I found a more shadier looking part of town.

I parked the car under a streetlight and walked towards a dark alleyway near the port.

When I finally spotted a dealer, it had started to rain and I drew up my hood.

At first the man looked at me warily but as soon as he noticed that I was coming directly towards him he plastered on a fake smile.

It was a quick business. He had what I wanted and even promised me a discount if I came back to him next time.

I thought about taking some right away, but I still had to drive back to Forks. And it was raining after all. I wasn't that stupid.

So instead I put the small bag of pills into my pocket and left Port Angeles.

CHCHCHCHCHCH

It was around 10pm when I arrived back at the Cullen's. Most of the house was dark except for the living room where still some lights were switched on.

Carlisle sat in one of the armchairs reading when I stepped into the room. When he heard me come in, he closed his book and came towards me.

"I'm back.", I mumbled and turned to leave. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him.

"Wait!", he called and caught up to me. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes and turned around.

"How did it go?", he asked. I thought about telling him the truth for a second.

"It was ok. I talked to that one guy, Garrett. He seems nice.", I shrugged. Now technically that wasn't a lie. Carlisle smiled and nodded.

"See I told you it will get better.", he smiled. I shrugged again and yawned.

"I'm tired, Carlisle. I'm gonna go to bed now.", I said quietly and he nodded.

Once upstairs I locked the door behind me and pulled out the small bag of pills. They weren't especially many, but it would last a week.

I popped two into my mouth a swallowed them without water before going into the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth.

I was pleasantly high when I came back into my room and soon fell into a dreamless and restful sleep.

Since it was Saturday the next morning, I was able to sleep as long as I wanted to. I woke up to sunshine streaming through my open windows. I still didn't like it when they were closed. It made me feel trapped.

The rain must have stopped during the night and the clouds cleared. And even though it was such a beautiful day I was in a sour mood.

I woke up hungover and had a massive headache.

Since the whole family was home, I wasn't able to take more pills. I sighed and reluctantly got out of bed.

I sat at the kitchen table slowly eating my cereals when Alice skipped into the kitchen happily.

"Hello Jasper!", she greeted in a sing-song voice and sat down next to me.

"Morning.", I answered.

"I was wondering-", she said while fidgeting in her seat. "- if you want to come with me today. I wanted to go shopping with Rosalie but now she ditched me to do something with Emmett." I smiled despite myself. Alice just had that effect on me. She always made me smile.

"I don't want to go alone!", she whined dramatically and I laughed. "Please Jasper!"

"I don't know... I have important things to do like reading and sitting under a tree.", I teased.

"Pretty please?", she begged with big, beautiful doe eyes.

"Alright. But only if we don't spend hours in each store.", I laughed and she shrieked in excitement. No matter how often Alice went shopping she always was as enthusiastic about it as if it was her first time.

"Great! I'll go and get ready!", she said and jumped up.

I chuckled and shook my head in amusement. I quickly finished my cereal and went to get my jacket from the guest room.

"Where are you going?", Carlisle asked me when I passed him in the hallway on my way to the garage.

"Alice wants me to go shopping with her.", I answered. "That's ok, right?" I suddenly felt uneasy about it. Maybe he didn't trust me yet after all.

"Yes, of course it is! I'm happy you are spending time together!", he smiled and patted me on the shoulder. I somehow managed not to flinch. He smiled reassuringly and kept going to his office.

Alice waited impatiently next to her car. Her face lit up once she saw me. I smiled at her. She really was an amazing girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Please review and tell me. Until next time :)


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Alice POV

I was so happy Jasper was back home again.

When he had first come to us and I first met him there just was something about him I couldn't describe. At first, I thought I just felt sorry for him. He had looked so lost and sad it nearly physically hurt me to see him like that.

Rosalie had told me a lot about him before he came and I knew that the real Jasper was still hidden somewhere inside the one I met. I just had to find him.

And when he was so upset because of Edward I just wanted to hug him.

Bad idea.

I knew that now. Jasper wasn't a big fan of physical contact.

I knew he didn't want to hurt me then. He didn't want to hurt anyone.

The first week, when Jasper hadn't been able to go to school yet, I had spent the entire Monday thinking about a way to get to know him.

So, when I came home that day and still didn't have an idea, I just decided to spent some time with him in the same room.

I knew he was in the library, so I just marched up there and sat down on the floor and started doing my homework.

I could see in the corner of my eye that he was clearly confused by that, but he didn't say anything and just continued to read.

I waited patiently for he to at least ask me why I was there but soon realized that I had to be the one to start talking. Or at least get him to start.

So, I started pretending to have difficulties with my math homework. I started to sigh dramatically over and over again until he finally started talking.

"You need help with that?", he asked me quietly without taking down his book. I turned around and smiled cheekily at him.

"Actually, I do.", I said in a shy voice.

And that's all it took. We actually had a conversation.

He obviously started to trust me after that. And that made me feel special.

He made me feel special.

And safe.

Because Mike Newton picked on me less now that Jasper was with me. He would defend me or just start talking to me to ignore Newton.

But then, on the school parking lot he wasn't there yet and I was alone with Newton. I tried not to listen to him and his name calling. It was a bit ridiculous how much it bothered me.

Jasper was next to me suddenly.

"Come on, Alice. Let's go!", he said and took my hand.

"Aw, are you going to rescue the pixie?", Newton mocked and I felt Jasper's hand tighten around mine. I looked up at him with worried eyes. His eyes were narrowed to slits.

I never understood why someone (Edward) would think Jasper was dangerous.

In that moment, as he glared at Newton with hate and suppressed aggression I did. He looked scary.

And yet, I wasn't afraid of him one bit. I felt safer now that he was next to me actually.

"Drop it, Newton.", Jasper said quietly. He sounded dangerously calm.

"Jasper...", Rosalie whispered and started pulling him away. He followed dragging me with him.

But Newton stopped him by grabbing him on the biceps and turning him around.

"What?", Jasper snapped and gently pushed me behind him.

"Come on, Haale! I didn't think you were someone running away from a fight!", Newton smirked.

"I'm not running. I just don't feel like wasting my time on you.", Jasper said calmly and I saw Rosalie wince out of the corner of my eye.

Jasper turned to leave again when Newton went to punch him. He ducked quickly and Newton hit me instead.

I didn't feel it at first. Everything went silent.

Jasper stared at me with big, shocked eyes before he turned around and tackled Newton to the ground.

I felt tears running down my face when Bella was suddenly next to me, pulling me away.

I fought to get back to Jasper, but Edward wouldn't let me.

He brought me home where he immediately started told Carlisle what had happened. According to him at least.

He started screaming and soon Rosalie was home and started yelling too.

Bella tried her best to comfort me, but I wasn't able to calm down. Esme held a pack of frozen something against my jaw.

And then the front door fell shut.

Jasper stood there looking at all of us with hurt and guilt it only made me cry more. His eyes fell on me and for one tiny moment and his eyes filled with so much guilt I just wanted to hug him.

But before I could even move, he ran upstairs.

And that was the last I saw of him for 3 months.

Now that he was finally back with us (and I made him promise me not to leave like that ever again) he kind of seemed off.

I couldn't describe it, but he was even more reluctant to open up than before.

We used to talk for hours in the evening but now he locked himself in his room every night.

Carlisle told us that he had met his abuser again and wasn't able to sleep very well.

And every Friday he went out for a few hours in the evening.

He said Carlisle suggested he tried a support group and that that's where he went. He seemed a bit embarrassed about it, but I was just glad he got the help he needed.

And the first week he was back Jasper got sick. I sat with him whenever I could, but he was buried under his blankets for most of the time.

Still despite all of that the two of us got closer and closer.

I could feel him trusting me because he had stopped flinching when I touched him. He didn't even tense up anymore.

And now I couldn't stop touching him. I hugged him or gently elbowed him when he was silly.

Bella soon pulled me aside after lunch at school and looked at me her eyebrows raised, smirking.

"What?", I asked her confused.

"You are flirting!", she accused me dryly still smirking.

"No! With whom?", I defended myself, but it sounded uncertain.

"C'mon Alice! With Jasper of course!"

Was I flirting with Jasper? I honestly didn't know. I had never flirted before.

"Am I?", I asked blushing. Bella shook her head.

"Seems like it to me and Edward... and Emmett... and-", she chuckled.

"Ok ok!", I interrupted. "Maybe I am."

"Do you like him?", she asked gently now.

I had to think about that. I definitely liked him. But was it more than friendship?

I thought about the tingles going up and down my arm whenever he touched me and the butterflies in my stomach when I talked to me in his southern accent.

I blushed. Bella chuckled pulling me back to reality.

"You do!", she beamed. I didn't answer but we both knew she was right.

Jasper and I grew only closer. I took him shopping with me after Rosalie ditched me and he didn't complain once! I didn't even seem bored, he just seemed to enjoy it.

A few days later we had a movie night at home. He sat down next to me on the couch, our legs barely touching. But soon we both relaxed and Jasper pulled me closer to him. At first, he was tentative, as if he wanted to give me the chance to pull away. I didn't though and soon lay comfortably against his chest.

After some time, he rested his head on top of mine and I felt myself blush again.

The butterflies in my stomach wouldn't stop but I didn't mind. I've never felt this safe in my entire life. I felt like I belonged.

Soon his breathing evened out and his arms around me slacked slightly. I had to suppress a chuckle. He had fallen asleep!

He even started snoring ever so slightly and wasn't that the cutest thing ever?

When the credits of the movie rolled, I shifted a bit in his arms to wake him up. I just figured he would like the others to see him sleeping on top of me.

His sleepy and confused eyes met mine and he blushed. Now I couldn't stop myself from chuckling anymore.

"Sleep well?", I teased quietly and he smiled.

"The best in a long time.", he whispered in his southern accent and pulled me closer.

After that evening, we were almost inseparable. Jasper started holding my hand when we walked and whenever we sat somewhere together, he always pulled me onto his lap. Well, except for school of course.

He started to spend more time with me in my room and one night he fell asleep on my bed while we were watching a movie on my laptop. And I didn't have it in me to wake him. Especially since I was in his arms and didn't want to leave them.

One day Jasper asked Carlisle if he could spend a few days with Peter and Charlotte during spring break l. He hadn't seen them in weeks and after some time Carlisle reluctantly agreed.

Jasper promised me that he would be back Sunday evening. I never thought he wouldn't. But it still felt good to know.

Carlisle took him to Aberdeen and then 4 days later picked him up again.

I spent most of those days studying for my finals. It was ridiculous how much I missed Jasper. He would come back, I reminded myself. I would survive without him for a few days.

When Jasper got back, he seemed sick. He looked exhausted and shivered. He told us that he was just tired and that he would feel better in the morning.

Carlisle still wouldn't let him go to school the next day and Jasper reluctantly went back to bed.

Speaking of Carlisle, he looked at Jasper suspiciously, like he suspected that something was up that Jasper didn't tell us.

But I just shook my head and ignored it.

He looked better when I got home in the afternoon. He was sitting in the library reading. Jasper looked up when I opened the door and smiled gently at me.

I sat down on his lap and he buried his face in my hair.

"How are you?", I asked him and he mumbled something into my hair as a reply.

"What? You have to take your face out of my hair if you want me to understand you.", I chuckled.

"Nuh-uh!", he hummed and pulled me closer. I laughed and fidgeted until I fit perfectly into his arms.

"I've missed you!", Jasper said gently after a few minutes. My butterflies were going crazy again and I smiled.

"I've missed you too!", I whispered into his chest. "Isn't it weird? It's only been 4 days and still...", I faded off. Jasper sat up straighter.

"What's weird?", he asked me genuinely confused.

"That I missed you so much.", I explained.

"Why's that weird? I don't get it."

"Well, because..." I didn't know how to answer.

"Is this-", he gestured to me sitting on his lap. "- weird too?" He looked hurt somehow.

"What? No of course not!", I explained quickly. "Jasper this is great! Don't you ever think I don't like being close with you! I do because I think I'm in lo -!" I quickly cut myself off. I blushed rapidly because I've already said too much. What if he didn't feel the same?

"You are what?", Jasper asked gently. I didn't answer and instead stared at my fingers.

"Alice!", he said and gently grabbed my chin to turn my head up. He locked his eyes with mine. "Me too."

I felt my eyes fill with tears and the butterflies were having a party. I laughed and hugged him tightly.

I let go of him and saw him smirking.

"You did that on purpose!", I accused and really tried to glare at him but couldn't quite manage that. He chuckled.

"I might have suspected something. I wasn't sure though.", he confessed. "I had to test it. I'm sorry."

"God, and I was so worried! I thought I was imagining it and that you didn't feel the same. I was too scared to say anything and-", I rambled.

"Alice!", he interrupted chuckling. "Shut up."

And then suddenly his lips where on mine. I tensed a bit but soon melted into the kiss. 

It was careful and gentle kiss, like everything Jasper did with me. He was always so gentle with me, always careful not to hurt me. 

He pulled out of the kiss way too soon and rested his forehead against mine. I breathed in his scent and closed my eyes.

This moment was perfect.

That evening, Jasper let me into his room for the first time since he came back. I never asked why he didn't let me before and I didn't plan on doing it. He sure had his reasons and if he wanted to tell me he would eventually.

We sat on the bed talking for some time and then Jasper started reading to me from the book he was reading at the moment. I didn't really care about what the book was about, but I was happily listening to Jasper's voice.

Soon I felt my eyes getting heavy and a few minutes later I was asleep.

I woke up a few hours later, still laying on Jasper's chest. He was sleeping, one arm gently around my waist and the still open book in his other hand.

He looked so peaceful and perfect that I just couldn't bring myself to leave. I kissed his cheek gently and he smiled in his sleep.

My butterflies were flying again.

I laid back down on his chest and pulled the blanket on top of us and went back to sleep.

It was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I had trouble writing this chapter. I’m terrible at writing fluffy things and I’m sure you noticed that. I did my best. Anyway, please comment and tell me what you thought.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Jasper POV

Alice was amazing. 

And I could feel myself falling for her.

At first, I was denying it. I didn't get attached to people and falling in love was just something I didn't do. I'd always refused to.

Not that I've never had a girlfriend before, that wasn't the case. I just never really loved them before.

But Alice, she was different. She saw only the good in me. She made me feel special and understood. I just couldn't keep myself from falling in love.

When we had another movie night in the living room, she sat down next to me on the couch. She seemed really tense, like she wasn't certain how much physical contact was ok for me.

To be honest, I didn't know either how much she wanted. I had to try. So, I pulled her closer. Slowly at first, to give her a chance to pull away. But she never did. In fact, she moved even closer and soon she was on my lap, her back resting against my chest. I rested my head on hers and put my arms around her.

The next thing I remember was her shifting in my arms. I looked up and saw that the movie was over.

I had fallen asleep on Alice.

And I didn't dream! Not one nightmare.

I locked my eyes with her amused ones.

"Sleep well?", she teased and I had to smile. I did sleep well.

"The best in a long time.", I answered in my southern accent and pulled her closer.

After that evening, I spent most of my time with Alice. It seemed like I couldn't be without her. I was calm around her. I was happy when she was with me.

I started to think that maybe I didn't need the pills anymore. I slept without nightmares with Alice in my arms but maybe that just was because I didn't sleep very long.

But then, one night I fell asleep on her bed while watching a movie and only woke up when Alice' alarm clock rang.

And I didn't dream once!

Now that school day sucked because I was in the early stages of withdrawal the whole day but that was ok. With Alice, I didn't need drugs anymore.

I wanted to get clean for her.

But if I started detoxing now Carlisle would notice. And then he'd know that I've been lying the whole time.

Luckily, it was spring break soon. I asked him if it was alright if I visited Peter and Charlotte for a few days. I had already talked to them and they promised to help me with detox.

I took my last pill the night before Carlisle would take me to Aberdeen. The last few I had left I planned on flushing down the toilet. But I somehow couldn't. I didn't take any of them, but I also didn't want to throw them away. Knowing that I still had them gave me a strange sense of security.

I didn't talk much to Carlisle during the drive, but he made me promise to be careful before he let me go.

Peter had completely dropped out of school and found a job. He and Charlotte lived in a small apartment. They seemed happy. Peter said that he never heard from James after they left and actually asked me to thank Carlisle for him.

Withdrawal sucked. Just as much as the first time. I hated myself for being so stupid and not staying clean after the first time. It would have saved me a lot of trouble.

But at the same time, I almost wanted nothing more than those damn pills.

Charlotte was an angel throughout most of the detox. She stayed with me, held me when I screamed and cursed for drugs and rubbed my back when I was praising the porcelain god.

Peter did what he could, but he was obviously uncomfortable, so he just made sure I didn't make a run for it.

When the worst of it was over, I still had a few hours left until Carlisle would pick me up again. I was still sick and tired but at least I didn't throw up every few minutes anymore.

Peter and I played some video games and Charlotte watched us until I had to leave. I promised them that I would come back soon.

Carlisle looked at me with concerned eyes when I picked me up. I probably still looked pretty awful. I just said that I must have caught something and he didn't question it. At least not out loud.

I insisted that I was fine and all I needed was sleep but Carlisle still wouldn't let me go to school the next day.

So, I reluctantly went back to bed. I spent the rest of that day sitting in the library, waiting for Alice to come home.

I had to see how she felt about me. I knew she liked me but how much? So, I made a plan. I wanted to tell her how I felt but honestly, I was terrified of her reaction. 

When she came home, she went straight to the library and sat down on my lap. I buried my face in her hair and smiled.

It was the first time we were alone since I came back. While we only spent 4 days apart it felt like an eternity for me. I had missed her so much and the thought of her was what got me through detox.

"How are you?", she asked me.

"Better now.", I mumbled without moving my face from her hair.

"What? You have to take your face out of my hair if you want me to understand you.", she chuckled.

"Nuh-uh!", I hummed and pulled her closer. She shifted until she sat comfortably in my arms.

"I've missed you!", I said gently after a few minutes.

"I've missed you too!", she whispered into my chest. My heart skipped a beat when she said that.

"Isn't it weird? It's only been 4 days and still...", she stared but didn't finish. I sat up straighter.

"What's weird?", I asked pretending to be confused.

"That I missed you so much.", she explained.

"Why's that weird? I don't get it."

"Well, because..."

"Is this-", I gestured to her sitting on my lap. "- weird too?" I knew exactly what she meant but I had to get her to say it.

"What? No of course not!", she explained quickly. "Jasper this is great! Don't you ever think I don't like being close with you! I do because I think I'm in lo -!", she said and then abruptly stopped.

"You are what?", I asked gently. She didn't say anything but only had a sudden interest in her fingers.

"Alice!", I said and gently lifter her face to lock my eyes with hers.

"Me too.", I said quietly and prayed to whoever was listening that she wouldn't reject me.

Her eyes felt with tears and she practically threw herself at me, laughing and crying at the same time.

I couldn't believe it! She actually did feel the same!

I collected myself while she was hugging me tightly.

When he sat back to look at me, I couldn't help the smirk that had appeared on my face.

"You did that on purpose!", she accused and apparently tried to glare at me but couldn't quite manage that. I chuckled. She looked so adorable in that moment.

"I might have suspected something. I wasn't sure though.", I confessed. "I had to test it. I'm sorry."

"God, and I was so worried! I thought I was imagining it and that you didn't feel the same. I was too scared to say anything and-", she started rambled.

"Alice!", I chuckled. "Shut up."

And then I couldn't stop myself any longer and pressed my lips against hers. Gently at first, to give her a chance to pull away but she didn't. Instead she kissed me back.

Time stood still. For the first time in years I felt like I really belonged somewhere.

I pulled out of the kiss sooner than I wanted to because I still didn't feel perfectly fine. I rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes.

Alice was the first one I let into the guest room since I came back. She wanted to for weeks, but I never let her.

But now I couldn't say no anymore. So, after dinner we first spent some time with the family in the living room.

Eventually I said that I would go to my room and read, like I always did and Alice just announced that she would join me. I didn't refuse and that earned me some weird looks from the family.

I did actually read once upstairs, just not silently as usual but loudly for Alice. She didn't seem particularly interested in the book I was reading but she seemed happy enough laying on my chest listening.

And eventually she fell asleep. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life.

Even though she was sound asleep I still kept reading to her but after some time my own eyes grew tired and I fell asleep as well.

I woke up in the middle of the night just once with Alice still beside me.

The next Friday I decided that I would actually go to the meeting. Ever since I found out that they didn't tell Carlisle if I was missing, I just didn't go there anymore.

But now that I really had a reason to stay clean, I thought that it would be useful.

Esme, like always let me take her car. The meeting itself was boring and I sat down in the last row far away from other people. I didn't really come for the group session anyway. I came hoping that Garrett would be there.

So, when it was over, I sat down on the same curb stone as the first two times. I lit a cigarette and waited hoping he would see me. I was still too uncomfortable to go seek him out on my own accord.

"Jasper!", someone behind me called. I turned around and Garrett came walking towards me. He looked... relieved?

"You're back.", he said and sat down next to me.

"Yeah... I kinda have a reason now.", I shrugged.

"I'm glad!" He sounded sincere. "I was a bit worried about you."

I didn't answer that.

"You've been using right?"

I didn't answer that either.

"It's ok. We all make mistakes. Don't dwell on it too much. You're here now and that's all that matters.", he said putting his hand on my shoulder. I flinched. He pulled his hand back quickly and gave me a sad look.

I cursed myself for reacting like that again. He just tried to comfort me.

There was a minute of silence.

"I lied to everyone...", I eventually said quietly.

"You're here now. That's all that matters.", Garrett said and smiled reassuringly. "So, what's the name of your reason? They must be pretty incredible."

I smiled.

"She is.", I said. "How did you know?" Garrett chuckled again.

"It's obvious! So, what's her name?", he smiled.

"Alice. She's... perfect. She really is. And she doesn't even know it.", I said with a smile. Garrett laughed again.

We talked a bit longer and eventually I had to get back or Carlisle would worry.

While I was driving back, I thought about the things Garrett had said. Yes, it had been wrong of me to lie to Carlisle like that. To everyone for that matter. But beating myself up over it wouldn't make it any better. I had to prove them that I had bettered myself.

Of course, I still felt bad about it and I probably always would. But that didn't matter now.

I promised Garrett to come back next week and I really meant it. After all, I wanted to be the boyfriend Alice deserves. And at the moment she deserved someone better than me. 

I waited for the traffic light to turn green while drumming my fingers against the wheel. It had started to rain some time ago and the road was already slippery.

The light turned green and I started driving again all the while thinking about how I wanted to tell Carlisle that I lied. I had to after all.

I saw the black car coming towards me out of the corner of my eye.

There was a loud crash.

And then...

Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm way too mean to poor Jasper. Please tell me what you thought. Until next time :)


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Carlisle POV

It was a joy to see Alice and Jasper getting closer and closer over the course of the last 2 months.

It seemed like she was able to bring out the best in him. Alice's bubbly and outgoing nature may have been the complete opposite of Jasper's calm personality but still, the two of them were almost perfect together.

Jasper still didn't really talk much to me but when we all sat together in the living room or at dinner he actively took part in the conversations. And that was entirely because of Alice.

At first, I thought they were getting closer as brother and sister but soon it was obvious that it was something else entirely.

That didn't bother me. After all Rosalie and Emmett were slowly becoming a thing for months now. I was happy for all of them. And they weren’t actually related.

When I first talked to Esme about Alice and Jasper, she had actually laughed at me.

"What?", I had asked.

"You just noticed that? Now?", she had said raising an eyebrow mockingly. "It was obvious!"

"No... when?" She had confused me. When had it been obvious? Esme shook her head and I was pretty sure I had heard her mumble something about 'men are blind'.

"When they were cuddling on the couch for example.", she had said still smiling and shaking her head.

"Siblings cuddle!"

"Not like that!", she had laughed and shook her head again.

Jasper, as agreed, drove to Port Angeles every Friday to the meeting. He didn't complain once or tried to tell me that he didn't need it.

It was all going perfectly. Maybe too perfect. For a few weeks now I had a strange feeling that something was off. I wasn't able to pinpoint what specifically, but I had the sickening feeling that Jasper was keeping something from all of us.

I hoped that he didn't start taking those pills again. But the only way to find out was confront him or search his room. And I didn't want to do either of that without a good enough reason.

And Jasper never seemed high when I saw him. Not in the morning, not when he came home from school and not even when he came back from the meetings. And that was the only time he was truly alone.

So, I shrugged it off as unjustified worry and moved on. After all I didn't have any good reason to believe he was back on drugs anyway.

That was until spring break.

Near the end of it Jasper asked me if he could spend a few days with Peter and Charlotte. He said he missed them and since he didn't have to go to school, he wanted to see them again.

I had to think about that. Did I trust Jasper enough to let him go back to the place were started taking drugs in the first place?

But I trusted Charlotte. After all, she was the one who called me for help in the first place.

And I wanted to trust Jasper. So, I reluctantly agreed. Four days, that was how long I'd let him stay. And I would take him and pick him up again. That was the deal. Jasper agreed.

When I picked him up again he seemed sick. He looked exhausted and shivered slightly.

The first thing that jumped into my mind was withdrawal. But Jasper said that he just needed sleep.

I wanted to trust him and pushed my suspicion away. Maybe he really was just sick.

He didn't look better the next morning but insisted that he was able to go to school. I refused. None of my children went to school sick.

Jasper and Alice only grew closer after he came back from Aberdeen and I noticed that they both either slept in Jasper's or Alice' room now. Never apart. And on Wednesday they officially became a couple. Jasper actually asked me if he was allowed to date Alice.

"Of course, Jasper!", I said. "As long as you're both happy!"

"Thank you, sir.", he said and looked immensely relieved. Why did he suddenly call me 'sir' again, though?

"Jasper, you don't need to call me 'sir', remember?", I gently corrected him.

"Oh... sorry! I didn't mean to. It slipped out automatically.", he apologized.

"I'm happy for you two!", I smiled changing the subject. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and felt a bit proud when he didn't flinch. I smiled again.

Everything was alright.

Until Friday, when Jasper didn't come home after the meeting. He usually came back at around 10pm and I always waited for him. But now it was nearing 11:30pm and there was still no sign of him.

He didn't pick up his phone either.

12pm - nothing

1am - nothing

And then finally, at 1:30am the phone rang. I was about to call the police before it finally rang.

"Jasper?", I called immediately after I picked up.

"Dr Cullen? This is Chief Swan.", a voice said.

‘Oh no’

"Please tell me you have my son and that he's alright, Chief!", I said extremely worried now.

"Dr Cullen, there has been an accident.", Charlie said carefully. I thought my heart might stop.

"Where is he?", I pressed out. Already walking up the stairs to get dressed.

"At the hospital."

I thanked him and went to wake up Esme.

"Esme!", I quietly called and shook her shoulder gently.

"Hmm?", she hummed and sleepily opened her eyes.

"Esme, I have to go to the hospital!", I whispered and she nodded slowly.

"Was there and emergency and they need you?", she asked. It wouldn't be the first time.

"No honey, it's Jasper." She was immediately wide awake and sat up.

"What!?", she said panicky.

"I don't know what happened yet, just that there was an accident and he's in the hospital."

"Do you want me to wake Rosalie and Alice?", she asked getting out of bed.

"No. Don't tell them until I know what exactly happened.", I said and hugged her tightly.

"Do you think he was...", Esme trailed off. I knew exactly what she meant though.

"I don't know."

I arrived at the hospital 30 minutes later. It was a calm night and not many people where in the emergency room.

A nurse, Betty, saw me and came towards me with a smile.

"Dr Cullen! What are you doing here this late?", she asked.

"I'm here for my son. Jasper Hale. He was in an accident.", I explained quickly while scanning the ER for signs of Jasper.

"Ohh, the young man is one of your children! I'll take you to him.", she smiled and I followed her.

Jasper lay on a bed behind a curtain at the end of the ER. He had his eyes closed and his face had a few cuts. His left arm was bandaged and so was left thigh.

Chief Swan sat next to him and stood up when Betty pulled back the curtain.

"Dr Cullen.", he nodded. I greeted him back and sat down in the other chair next to the bed.

"He has a mild concussion, some cracked ribs, and various cuts and bruise.", Betty explained to me and I thanked her.

"I didn't want him to be alone.", Chief Swan explained a little awkwardly when I looked at him.

"No, no! Thank you for staying. What exactly happened?", I asked.

"We don't know exactly.", Chief Swan admitted. "Jasper was found unconscious in the car. Someone hit it from the left but when we arrived there was no other car. Not that it's any of my business, but why was he even driving at that time?"

"He was on his way home from a support group in Port Angeles.", I sighed. Charlie nodded with an understanding expression.

"Betty? Did you test him on drugs?", I asked her.

"No. Should we?", she asked with a frown. I shook my head. 

"You think he was driving UTI, right?", Charlie said in a low voice.

"I'm not sure. He was acting strangely the last few days. I've seen him high once and he didn't seem like that but he... I don't know.", I sighed.

"We'll know if the accident was his fault as soon as we get the footage from the traffic cameras.", he explained and I nodded.

"I'll call my wife. Could you stay for another few minutes?", I asked Chief Swan and he nodded. I grabbed my phone and went outside.

"Carlisle?", Esme asked after the first ring. "Is he alright?"

"He's a bit banged up but otherwise he's going to be fine.", I informed her. "I need you to do something for me."

"Of course!"

"Please go to Jasper's room and search it. Look under the bed, behind the toilet, everywhere. See if you can find pills.", I pressed out trying to keep my voice calm.

"You think he lied to us." It wasn't a question.

"We're gonna find out. Tell me if you found something. Love you." I hung up and went back to Jasper's bed.

He was still asleep when I got there. I sat down in a chair next to his bed. Chief Swan left a few minutes later promising to tell me what the footage showed.

Esme called about an hour later.

"Yes?", I said quietly not wanting to wake Jasper but also not wanting to leave him.

"Carlisle...", Esme sobbed. I closed my eyes in defeat.

"Where did you find them?"

"Under the toilet tank lid.", she whispered.

"Thank you. I'll talk to him. I'll call you when I'm about to head home."

I sighed after I hung up and looked at the sleeping form of Jasper. I wasn't even angry. Just disappointed.

I thought about how I should talk to him once he woke up.

About 20 minutes later Jasper started moving slightly on the bed. I watched him silently as his eyelids fluttered and eventually his eyes opened. He starred at the ceiling for a few seconds before his gaze travelled downwards and his eyes met mine.

"Carlisle?", he asked me confused. "What-?"

"You had an accident.", I interrupted. Now that he was awake, I suddenly got angry. He nodded and frowned. His gaze travelled around the room lazily. He was obviously high.

"How long?", I asked trying to keep my voice emotionless. His eyes met mine again.

"What do you mean?", Jasper asked slowly.

"How long have you been lying to us?", I pressed and he paled.

"I-"

"How long, Jasper?!" He flinched when I raised my voice. His big frightened eyes looked at me with so much regret.

"Two months.", he admitted quietly.

"The whole time!", I nearly yelled and he flinched again. I pinched the bridge of my nose. Yelling to him wouldn’t achieve anything, I knew that. 

"No no no no!", he stuttered. "I - I got clean last week. I wanted to tell you but-"

"And why should I believe you?", I hissed. I was so angry in that moment I could hardly control myself. "Every Friday, when you said you were going to the meetings, you never did, right?"

He didn't answer.

"I can't believe this, Jasper!"

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you."

"I gave you a chance to get back on track! I gave you a stable environment. And you lied to me, to Rosalie even to Alice!" He winced when I mentioned her.

"I want to get clean for her.", he mumbled. I sighed.

"Then why did you drive whilst being high?" His head snapped up.

"What? I didn't!", he said locking his eyes with mine. I really wanted to believe him. But I couldn't. Everything I found out today proved him wrong.

"Carlisle! I didn't take anything today!"

"Jasper, you're high.", I stated dryly.

"I didn't take it! Please! You have to believe me!"

"Go back to sleep, Jasper.", I said quietly. I was tired and sick of fighting.

"No, Carlisle! Please!" He was almost crying now. I shook my head in disappointment.

"I really thought you're better than this." My voice was barely more than a whisper. "I'm going to come back in the morning. Then we'll talk about what we're going to do with you."

I left without waiting for a reply. I heard him take a deep breath. Obviously trying to calm himself down. But I didn't turn around. I just wanted to get home to my bed.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Jasper POV

I was panicking. I really had planned to tell Carlisle that night. I never wanted him to find out that way.

And now he found me in a hospital bed drugged. That probably didn't make him believe me any more.

I didn't remember anything after driving back to Forks. But I was 100 percent sure that I didn't take anything. After all I was in an hospital. They probably gave me something.

And whatever they gave me, it wasn't enough to stop me from panicking. I fidgeted on the bed and struggled for breath. It hurt when I moved but I somehow welcomed the pain. It helped me calming down.

Carlisle just left me there. Understandably so. He was really angry, I could see that. And Carlisle almost never got angry.

'-what we're going to do with you' That's what he said. I've heard that sentence often enough in all kinds of variations. In my experience, it always meant they'd send me away.

I understood. Who would want to keep a fuck up like me in their family? Especially after I lied to them. I was ungrateful, I knew it, Carlisle knew it and he basically said it. Not in so many words but the whole 'I gave you a chance to get back on track! I gave you a stable environment'-thing that's basically what he meant. And he was right. I blew my chance.

And now Alice and Rosalie were going to find out. None of them would ever speak to me again.

I wanted to run for the hills, find the next dealer and never get lucid again. I really wanted to. But I promised Alice I wouldn't leave like that again.

Still, I wanted to. She wouldn't want me anymore after all. Maybe if I was gone before Carlisle came back in the morning, they wouldn't be able to find me.

But where would I go? I couldn't go to Peter and Charlotte, they'd only tell Carlisle. I had nowhere else to go.

Maybe Seattle, the city was big enough that one runaway more wouldn't make any difference.

While I kept thinking about my options, I felt my eyes getting heavy. Whatever they gave me, it was amazing and soon I fell asleep again.

When I opened my eyes again, Rosalie stood at the end of my bed. They had moved me to a small room.

The drugs had worn off and I started to feel the full extent of my injuries. My head felt like it was split in two and breathing sent a painful sensation through my left side. I hissed in pain as I tried to sit up straighter.

I looked up into Rosalie's eyes. Her face was completely blank of any emotion.

"Rose, I...", I croaked and winced at the sore feeling in my throat.

"You lied.", she said quietly still without any emotion. I dropped my eyes and looked at my hands.

"I'm sorry.", I whispered. I didn't really know what else to say.

"Why didn't you tell me? I don't get it, Jasper!", she hissed angrily now. I winced.

"I- I don't-", I mumbled and took a deep breath wincing at the pain. "I didn't know how."

"Just like that! I don't know why you don't trust me anymore! Not even Alice!", Rose yelled. I pressed my eyes shut against the pain the volume caused in my head. I heard her sigh. "Carlisle knew about it, right?"

"Just because he found me.", I admitted. "He also thought not telling you was the right thing to do."

"Well, it wasn't!"

"Yes, I know that!", I yelled suddenly getting irritated. "I know okay! I should have told you! Believe me, I really regret it! I'm sorry!"

Rosalie grew silent for a few minutes just looking at me. I grew uncomfortable under her eyes.

"He's going to send you away.", she eventually said quietly. I closed my eyes in defeat.

"Yeah, I already expect he would.", I mumbled quietly. "This is goodbye then?"

"What?", she asked confused.

"Well, he's sending me away.", I frowned.

"Yes, to rehab! Not another foster home! Why would you think... oh." Her eyes were full of pity now. "Jasper, you are a part of this family!"

I just shook my head. I didn't want to go to rehab. I didn't need it. I got clean! Yes, I lied for 2 months but I got clean. I didn't take anything.

"Where's Alice?", I asked my twin dreading the answer. Rose sighed and avoided my eyes.

"She doesn't want to see you.", she said quietly. That hurt. Not that I wasn't expecting it, but it still hurt.

"When?"

"When what?", Rose frowned.

"When will he send me away?", I pressed.

"As soon as the hospital releases you." I just nodded. Rosalie wasn't the person I had to argue with about that. "I'll come and visit you as soon as they let me.", she said gently now. I didn't answer and I heard her sigh.

"Why did you do it?", she asked eventually.

"Do what?"

"Drive while high."

I got frustrated again.

"I didn't! I swear I didn't! I was at the meeting and it started raining on my way home. But I swear I didn't take anything! Not in over a week!", I yelled desperate for her to believe me. I could see it in her eyes that she didn't.

"Jasper..."

"No! I won't listen to a lecture about something I haven't done! You can be mad at me for lying all you want, that's fair. But I didn't. Take. Anything!"

"Then why were you high when Carlisle came last night?", she asked coldly.

"In case you haven't noticed, Rose, I've been in a car accident. They probably gave me something for the pain.", I hissed. Hurt flashed through Rosalie's eyes and I instantly regretted what I said.

"No need to get mean, Jasper!", she pressed out. "I'm gonna go."

"Wait! No! I'm sorry!", I called after her, but she was already gone.

"Fuck!", I cursed and closed my eyes again.

Carlisle came about 2 hours later.

"You're going to be released tomorrow.", he said sternly. "I'll pick you up and take you straight to the rehab centre I picked in Seattle."

"Yes, sir.", I said in a flat voice not looking at him.

I didn't care what happened to me anymore. I wouldn't be able to fight it anyway. Panicking wouldn't get me anywhere.

"You'll stay there for at least a month.", Carlisle continued and I nodded. "We won't be allowed to visit you for the first 2 weeks." I hummed. "After that at least one of us will come and check on you every few days." I nodded again.

"Are you listening?", Carlisle asked me.

"What..? Yeah, of course.", I mumbled still not looking at him. I heard him sigh.

"What did I say?", he pressed and I felt the urge to roll my eyes.

"Stay there at least 1 month, no visits the first 2 weeks and then every few days.", I repeated dryly.

"Are you alright?", Carlisle asked now sounding worried.

"Marvellous.", I mumbled sarcastically.

"Moping won't help you here, Jasper.", he sighed and I snorted.

"Yes, I've noticed that already.", I mumbled under my breath.

"Jasper, you did that to yourself and you know it."

"I know. So, what else am I supposed to do. I apologized, I tried to tell you that I didn't take anything, I'm going to your stupid clinic even though I don't want to.", I said frustratedly finally turning my head to look at him.

"We've talked about that already. The evidence is proving you wrong.", Carlisle said getting irritated himself.

"What evidence?", I laughed without humour.

"You were clearly high when I came for you last night."

"Because I'm in a hospital! C'mon you're a doctor, you should know that injured people get something for their pain."

"Sadly, there's no way tell if you were high before that.", Carlisle stated.

"You could just believe me.", I offered.

"I believed you for two months."

I didn't know what to answer to that. So, I just kept silent and turned to stare out of the window again.

Carlisle kept talking for another 10 minutes but I stopped listening. He left when he noticed that and I was alone in the room again.

I wanted to run. I really had no desire to go through withdrawal again and even less to go to a rehab clinic.

But there was the small issue with my promise to Alice holding me back.

But she hadn't even wanted to see me. And she probably wouldn't want to ever again.

I'd be doing them a favour, really. Carlisle would save a lot of money, Rosalie would finally get to live without worrying about what her fucked up brother's going to do next and Alice, Alice would find someone she truly deserved. Not someone like me.

And what's one more broken promise after months of lying?

I looked at the backpack with my things Rosalie left on one of the chairs in the room. It had basically everything I needed. Except for money. But I could get that.

The clock over the door told me it was close to 3pm. If I waited for it to get dark, I could easily slip away. Forks Hospital wasn't necessarily known for high security.

So, I waited.

Roughly 4 hours later I sneaked out of the hospital shoes in one hand and the backpack in the other carefully avoiding the nurse’s station.

At around 6:30 one of them came in and gave me more meds, I didn't take them though. I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave unnoticed if I was high. I took them with me for a later time though. 

I peeked around a corner and waited for a nurse to disappear into a room before I quickly ran towards the emergency exit. That hurt like hell on my left leg, but I kept going.

Once outside, I put on my shoes and pulled up the hood of my jacket. I didn't dare breathing normally until there was a safe distance between me and the hospital.

This time I hadn't left a letter. In the end, they'd all see that it was for the best. Rosalie would hate me, but she would have eventually anyway. 

And Alice, well Alice already did. There really wasn't anything else to lose.

Now that I was far away from the hospital to take deep breaths (at least as deep as my sore ribs allowed) I looked around uncertainly. I didn't know where to go now that I ran away a second time.

Peter and Charlotte weren't an option. I thought about maybe going to James' place. But Aberdeen was too obvious. Carlisle would definitely look there first.

And looking for me he would. It would take time for them to realize that I simply wasn't good for their family. I desperately wanted to belong there, to feel like they were my home. But I couldn't lie to myself any longer.

Maybe, if things were different, if Rosalie had found me sooner, I wouldn't be as fucked up. I would still be the brother she deserved. But sadly, I wasn't. She just refused to see that. And for way to long I did as well. I wanted to be the same person as before. But I finally realized that I simply wasn't.

I started walking towards the highway. It was painful but maybe someone would have enough pity with me to take me to Seattle, or at least closer to Seattle. I've never been there and Carlisle wouldn't look for me there.

That was what I hoped anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. As always, please leave a review. Until next time :)


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Carlisle POV

One year later

It's been a year. One entire year since I left Jasper at the hospital.

And none of us had seen him since.

When I had come back with Alice this time because she changed her mind and desperately wanted to see him before he was in rehab all we found was an empty room. Jasper's backpack and his clothes from the accident were gone.

I heard the book Alice brought for Jasper fall to the ground in a thump, but I couldn't stop staring at the empty bed.

"No...", Alice whispered and started searching the room. "No! Carlisle! Where is he!", she now yelled desperately. 

I had a terrible feeling of deja-vu. I just stood there and stared at the bed.

We didn't know where he went, why he left again or if he was even still alive.

And we've tried everything to find him. We called the police, made posters to hang them up around town. Charlotte and Peter haven't heard from Jasper either.

And this time there wasn't even a letter. Nothing. Just and empty bed.

Alice refused to believe that he had left us again. She saw the room. She was there. But she refused to see what had happened.

"He promised me he would never do that again! He promised, Carlisle! He promised!", she sobbed when I sat down with her and try to make her see reason. She didn't listen. She just kept crying and screaming at everyone and everything.

Rosalie's reaction was the exact opposite. She was quiet, only talking when she had to and kept to herself. She locked herself in her room most of the time and only Emmett managed to make her smile a tiny bit sometimes.

Eventually, with time and the therapy I made them go to both of them slowly returned to their normal selves. Almost anyway.

It was 2 weeks after Jasper's disappearances that Chief Swan called me to tell me that the footage of the traffic cameras where available. So, I excused myself from dinner and drove to the police station.

We watched as Jasper drove from the community centre where the meetings were held back to Forks. I winced when I saw that Jasper had actually attended the meeting.

And we also saw how he waited at the red traffic light and how he was hit by another car immediately after he started driving again.

I stared at the screen with an open mouth. The accident wasn't his fault. He hadn't lied to me about that! He not once seemed like he was driving under the influence during the whole video.

‘Oh god... what have I done?’

We all missed Jasper deeply. And there was so much he missed.

Emmett and Rosalie graduated. Jasper would have as well.

Rosalie's birthday, the first one she ever celebrated with us. She was an adult now and Jasper would have been too.

No! He was an adult now because I refused to believe that he had died. He had to be alive.

Rosalie wasn't very cheerful her entire birthday no matter how much we tried. She missed her brother, saying she wanted to celebrate with him. We all understood.

We never stopped looking for Jasper. I looked in every hospital and morgue I could think of near Forks because maybe, and I hoped I was wrong, he got in an accident or ODed somewhere. But I never found a trace. And even though I didn't find Jasper at least I had some certainty that he was still alive. And that was relieving.

But I still had no idea where he was. I kept looking, kept worrying.

Emmett and Rosalie left for college together in fall and that only left Esme, Edward and Alice in the house.

They visited at least once a month though and we all appreciated it.

When the anniversary of the day we first took Jasper home came into view Esme suggested that we invite Peter and Charlotte for dinner. They've visited us once before, shortly after Jasper left us. Rosalie and Emmett came home as well.

I thought it was a great idea. Rosalie and Charlotte liked each other a lot and Emmett and Peter shared a compassion for video games. Alice was quite enthusiastic about it as well. Even Edward was on board. So why not?

When the day came no one was in a particularly good mood but we still made the best out of it. Peter and Charlotte arrived at around 2pm and until dinner Peter and Emmett played video games while Charlotte and the girls including Bella spent the time in Alice room doing god knows what. Esme had made Edward help her as a punishment for being mean earlier that week.

After dinner, we all sat down in the living room and started telling stories about Jasper. Peter, Charlotte and Rosalie had the most stories of course but we were all fine with listening.

But after some time, Alice suddenly jumped up and glared at all of us.

"Stop talking about him like he's dead!", she snapped and we all stared at her wide eyed.

"I'm sorry, what?", Edward asked slightly confused.

"You keep saying 'Jasper was so nice, Jasper has always been so quiet'. He is nice and quiet! He's still alive!", she yelled with tears in her eyes and we looked at each other in shook. Were we talking about Jasper like that? 

"Oh god! She's right!", Rosalie yelped and covered her face with her hands.

"Alice, we didn't realize. Of course, he's still alive!", I said gently. I got up and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry. You're right."

She sobbed for a few seconds but then pulled herself together. There was a moment of awkward silence until Edward spoke.

"So, Peter, how's work?", he asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"Work is great.", Peter answered with a frown not getting the hint. Charlotte rolled her eyes.

"And...?", she asked and he looked at her confused.

"And what?", he asked back.

"It's just great? That's all?", Esme pressed. He apparently finally realized why we were suddenly talking about work and his face lit up. You could almost see the lightbulb next to his head.

I shook my head in mix of amusement and sadness. Jasper would have loved to see his families like that together. I was sure of that.

I know it must have seemed like we gave up to Alice, but we didn't. I was still hoping every minute that we found Jasper. That he finally came home.

The next months passed rather uneventfully. Alice and Edward graduated, and Rosalie and Emmett came home from college for the summer. In July, a bit over a year since Jasper left, Edward proposed to Bella. She said yes. We were all really happy for them and Bella made Rosalie and Alice her bridesmaids.

They wanted to get married before winter, so we were all working to find a location, dress and so on.

One weekend Bella and Edward went to Seattle to pick up the rings they chose.

I wasn't expecting him to call me suddenly in the afternoon though.

"Yes?", I asked slightly concerned.

"We just saw Jasper!", Edwards said without bothering to say hello.

"What?!" I didn't know what else to say.

"Yes! We were just walking down the street and there he was, on the other side of the street. We tried to get to him, but he was already gone.", he explained quickly.

"Edward, that's great! At least now we know he's in Seattle!"

"Carlisle...", Edward said slowly in a careful voice.

That definitely didn't sound very encouraging.

"What?", I asked dreading the answer.

"He didn't look very well."

I had to be honest, I had been expecting that. Jasper had probably been on the streets for more than a year. Of course, he wouldn't look good.

"He was skinny and dirty. Carlisle, he looked sick. I'm worried about him!", Edward continued.

"I know, son. I'm as well. I'm going to call the police in Seattle. Hopefully we'll be able to bring him home soon.", I said in what I hoped was an insuring voice.

"Carlisle, he looked like he was using more than just pills!", Edward almost yelled. I closed my eyes in defeat. I had been expecting that as well.

"I'll think about what to do. Please come home as soon as possible." Edward agreed and hung up.

I sighed. How was I supposed to tell Rosalie and Alice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter was so short, but I didn't want to end it any other way. The next one will be longer, I promise.  
I'll wrap up this story in the next few chapters. I feel like I've tortured Jasper enough.  
Please review and tell me what you thought.  
Until next time :)


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Carlisle POV

It turned out finding Japser in Seattle wasn't as easy as I had hoped. The police there wasn't much help. They weren't any help at all. 

The policemen I talked to on the phone only dismissed my worry, telling me that it wasn't their job to 'look for junkies on the street'. If Jasper got arrested, they'd call but so far he stayed out of trouble completely. Or at least never got caught.

I wanted to kick myself for not thinking about Seattle in the first place. Thinking back, it was obvious Jasper would go there. The city was way bigger than Forks or Aberdeen. He would be harder to find.

And since the police didn't want to help, we had to do it ourselves.

My daughters’ reaction was exactly what I imagined it would be. 

Alice was excited, nearly jumping up and down out of joy. It pained me having to tell her that just because we now knew he was in Seattle didn't mean it was easy to bring him home. Her face fell for a moment, but she quickly got excited again saying that we'd have to stay optimistic. I could see it in her eyes, though that she was worried.

Rosalie again was the exact opposite. She grew quiet, not saying anything for a few moments. She looked at Edward then asking him if he was sure. 

"One hundred percent sure.", he said locking his eyes with hers. She then stood up and approached him. Rosalie looked at him for one second longer and then hugged him tightly.

"Thank you!", she mumbled into his chest. Edward hesitated at first but soon hugged her back.

When Rosalie pulled out of the hug, she turned to look at me.

"He's using, isn't he?", she asked seriously. Alice gasped and she too stared at me.

"We're not sure but yes, it looks like it.", I said quietly. Rosalie nodded and sat down again.

"Well-", she said. "We're gonna find him and take him home."

I took a leave from work for an unknown time so I could focus on finding Jasper. I figured once we found him getting him clean wouldn't be easy. I explained all of that to my boss and she understood telling me to take all the time I'd need.

I booked hotel rooms in Seattle for the family. We wouldn't be able to do much in Forks so Edward suggested we should stay in Seattle for a while.

The plan was to hang up posters like we did in Forks and ask around. The girls would do that. I would search for Jasper in the more shadier parts of Seattle with the help of Edward and Emmett. 

It took time of course. I understood that. But Alice and Rosalie soon got frustrated when we didn't immediately find him. Seattle was a big city. It wouldn't be easy to find him.

Esme asked around at the different hospitals if they had recently seen Jasper. Of course, we all hoped they hadn't. That would have meant he was hurt or worse.

But thankfully none of them had seen him recently.

One hospital though claimed that they had a patient that fitted Jasper's description. He had been admitted to their free clinic a few months ago for a nasty cut on his shoulder. It wasn't life-threatening but it was deep enough to need stitches.

The nurse who told Esme said she had remembered him because he seemed different. 

Jasper had refused to talk about how he got that wound and also wouldn't talk about any family the hospital could contact. He just claimed that he was alone.

The nurse said that his drug abuse and homelessness was obvious, but she also said that somehow, he stood out from all the other drug abusers she'd seen. She said he seemed gentler and just plain sad.

The nurse, Julie was her name, said that Jasper used to come back to the hospital from time to time when he had a particularly nasty injury and Julie was always relieved to see him. He never stayed but she said she made him eat and drink enough water. According to her he also never tried to get any drugs in the hospital.

She hadn't liked seeing him leave and when Esme showed up asking for him, she seemed relieved that he had a family after all.

All of that was painful to hear and it didn't help us find him. We just knew for a fact now that he was using. And got in fights apparently. Which also wasn't very reassuring.

After about 10 days in Seattle, I slowly started to lose hope in finding him. I didn't want to but a small voice in my head kept telling me that it's useless. I refused to listen to it.

The more days passed though the harder it was to ignore that voice.

Until Emmett called.

"Carlisle!", he panted excitedly. "I found him! Carlisle, I found him!"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I answered him.

"Where Emmett?", I asked as calmly as I could manage.

"I saw him about an hour ago walking down the street. I didn't want to startle him. So- uhm- I - I kinda followed him for a bit. He bought something from a really shady looking dude. He's in a really messed up house now. I'll text you the address. I thought maybe you should be the one talking to him. I- I don't really know what to do.", Emmett explained quickly. He sounded excited but also really worried.

"Thank you, Emmett. I'll hurry.", I promised him and hung up.

It took me about 30 minutes to drive to the address Emmett sent me. It was near the port and the house was an old fire station.

"He's still inside.", Emmett told me as I got out of the car. I nodded and gently put my hand on his shoulder.

"Please wait in the car.", I said gently and he nodded looking relieved.

The house was bigger inside than it looked on the outside. There was a staircase leading upstairs right when you stepped through the door, but I wanted to search the ground floor first. I drew a face at the smell of urine and vomit which was present in every room.

There were people slumped against the wall, lying on old furniture or just on the ground. I carefully went from room to room trying not to step on anybody.

Some of them were alert enough to notice me but no one said anything. When I couldn't find Jasper on the ground floor, I went up the stairs to look for him there.

The first floor wasn't any better than the other one smell wise. I was nearly done with all of the rooms when I spotted a familiar looking head of dark blond curls.

Jasper was lying on his side on an old and filthy mattress his back facing towards me.

He was skinny that much was obvious even from a distance. Next to him on the floor were a candle, some aluminium foil, and a spoon. I had to close my eyes for a moment and focus on keeping down the sick that threatened to rise up.

He was dressed in grey dirty jeans and what once probably was a blue hoodie. I remembered distinctly that it was the same hoodie he wore when he had the accident over a year ago. 

Slowly I walked up to him and knelt down next to Jasper. I gently grabbed his shoulder and turned him, so he lay on his back. One of his sleeves was pushed up. There was an old shoelace wrapped loosely around his left biceps and a used syringe lying next to him on the mattress.

Dozens of track marks were littered all over his arms, some of them infected.

I swallowed and tentatively held two fingers against his neck to check his pulse. It was too slow to be healthy but strong.

"Jasper?", I asked and started to gently tap his cheeks. "Come on, time to wake up!" He didn't react to me immediately, but I didn't expect him to. I continued to call his name and tap his cheeks in an effort to wake him from his drug-induced sleep.

Eventually, he frowned, and his eyelids began to flutter.

"That's it! Wake up!", I coaxed. Jasper moaned but opened his eyes to look at the ceiling above him. I was greeted with grey eyes and pupils like pinpoints.

He looked so immensely out of it that I had to focus on staying calm for a moment. 

Jasper didn't seem to focus on anything. He just stared at the ceiling blinking slowly. I didn't think he realized that there was someone next to him at all.

"Jasper!", I called again and this time his eyes slowly travelled down to where I was sitting. He looked at me for second seemingly without recognizing me and I winced. However, after a few seconds, he blinked and his eyes looked more focused.

"Carlisle...?", he rasped and frowned confused. I nodded and waited for him to say something. He didn't.

"How are you feeling?", I asked instead not really expecting an answer which made much sense. I had trouble keeping my voice under control.

"I'm great.", Jasper slurred and a small smile formed on his lips. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment.

"Do you know where you are?", I asked but this time he didn't answer. He just grinned sluggishly and after a moment closed his eyes again.

"No no no! Stay awake!", I ordered and started tapping his cheeks again. He frowned again and push away my hands.

"Stop that!", he said in what probably should have been a hiss, but it was almost inaudible.

"Jasper!", I called his name again and his eyes found mine again.

"What?", he asked "Go away!"

"Stay awake!"

"I don't want to.", he slurred. "You're not real anyway. Go away." He curled up on his side again and I was too confused to stop him.

‘What did he mean I was not real?’

I shook my head to focus had turn Jasper back around, so he faced me again. I called his name again and he groaned.

"Come on, son. You can sleep somewhere else!", I said and pulled him in a sitting position. He was way too light and he gave way too little resistance. But I had to support him instead he would just fall back down onto the mattress.

I would never get him down the stairs.

I sighed and adjusted my grip on Jasper whose head fell down onto his chest. He mumbled something incoherent quietly. With my now free hand, I pulled my phone out of the pocket in my jacket and called Emmett for help.

I waited 5 minutes until he arrived.

Emmett froze once he saw Jasper. He paled and his eyes grew huge.

"Is he...?", he asked quietly and I shook my head.

"He's going to be fine. Just help me get him to the car.", I said gently and Emmett nodded.

It was more difficult than I had thought. Even though Jasper was way too light he still was dead weight between Emmett and me. About halfway to the car he became somewhat aware and started struggling and we had trouble keeping him from falling down the stairs.

Eventually, we successfully managed to get him to the car. Emmett held him upright while I quickly opened the passenger door. Once Jasper was inside the car, I closed his seatbelt and closed the door again.

The drive back to the hotel was quiet. Jasper had fallen asleep again or passed out. Again, we had trouble getting him to the room I had booked for him but this time we had at least an elevator.

I didn't see a reason why we should take him to a hospital. He wasn't overdosing, fortunately.

We laid him down on the bed and Emmett fell into the chair next to it.

"Now what?", he asked a bit out of breath.

"Now we wait for him to sober up.", I said and stretched my back.

"I'm gonna go and tell Rosalie!", Emmett said and got up from the chair.

"She shouldn't come and see this.", I objected.

"She still has a right to know. As does Alice.", Emmett said and I nodded. He was right.

"Just- just tell her what to expect.", I mumbled tiredly and rubbed my eyes.

Emmett left and I took his spot in the chair. Jasper lay half curled up on his side quietly mumbling in his sleep. If you could call it sleep. I had almost no experience with drug abusers. The hospital in Forks got fairly little of that. That was one of the perks of living in a small town.

I was worried that he might OD in front of me after all and checked his pulse and breathing again as good as I was able to without my bag. But I didn't want to leave him alone, so I waited.

A few minutes later the door to the room flew open and Rosalie came bursting inside. She froze mid-step and sucked in air like she burned her hand.

"Oh god...", she breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. As always please leave a review :)


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Jasper POV

When I opened my eyes, the room was unfamiliar. That wasn’t too unusual. 

I often woke up in places I didn't recognize but they all had something familiar about them. All of them were dirty and you never were alone. Others like me always were there right next to me.

But this place was too clean, too bright and the bed was too comfortable to be one of the houses I usually ended up in. And that I was in fact laying in a bed was troubling too say the least.

And I was alone. There was no one moaning next to me or someone talking to themselves.

It looked like a hotel room. A nice one even. And no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't able to remember how I got there.

The clock on the nightstand told me it was the late afternoon. I often slept in late after falling asleep with the help of whatever drugs I could get my hands on. Hunger or nightmares woke me up most of the time. This time it was hunger.

I was about to get out of the bed and search for my things to get the hell out of here when the door opened.

Carlisle came walking into the room carrying a glass of water and a sandwich. I froze halfway still in bed and halfway out.

"Jasper! You're awake!", he said surprised. I just stared at him with big eyes.

‘What? Am I still high?’

Of all the people I would have expected to come through that door it wasn't Carlisle.

"How are you feeling?", he asked me and put the food down on the nightstand. I still only looked at him with big eyes.

"Jasper?" He sounded worried now.

"How- how did you find me?", I blurted out suddenly. I shook my head and stood up unconsciously moving away from him towards a corner.

"Edward and Bella saw you about 2 weeks ago. And yesterday evening Emmett spotted you.", Carlisle explained gently.

"What? So, you thought you could just take me with you?", I hissed. I didn't know why I even was angry all of a sudden. Some part of me was even relieved that they had found me, but I was also scared they'd force me to get clean again. That I’d ruin their lives again. 

"You don't remember anything?", Carlisle asked ignoring my question. I shook my head.

"Who else is here beside Emmett?", I asked dreading the answer.

"All of us.", Carlisle stated as if it was a stupid question of me to ask.

"Rose! You brought Rose with you?!", I almost yelled.

"Yes of course, Jasper! We're your family and we were all worried." I shook my head. No. No! I had spent the last year convincing myself that they didn't care. That they were better off without me and now here they were completely destroying my hard work.

"Since you left, it just isn't the same anymore. We all miss you, we all love you."

‘Then why didn't you believe me?’

I fought the urge to make a mad dash for the door and run for the hills.

"I was so angry that you lied to me in the first place.", Carlisle said quietly. "And when I saw you in the hospital clearly on drugs I didn't think right."

I just stared at him not reacting to his words.

"I now know,", he continued "that you were telling the truth. I'm terribly sorry for my actions and what happened because of it." Carlisle sounded sincere but I still couldn't get myself to believe him completely. There were a few moments of silence. Eventually Carlisle cleared his throat.

"So... uhm. Why don't you go and take a shower and afterwards you can eat something.", he said and pointed to the sandwich on the nightstand.

I wanted to object and just leave before Rose or even worse Alice saw me, but the prospect of a nice, hot shower was just too good to say no. I nodded and disappeared inside the bathroom without another word.

Only when I locked the door behind me and the water running, I allowed myself to break down. I couldn't hold it back. I started crying and sobbing. It soon turned into a full-blown anxiety attack. I sat down in the tub hugging my knees and started rocking back and forth while the water was spraying down on me.

I stayed in the shower until the water turned cold and even a bit longer. Eventually I had myself somewhat back under control and got dressed again. Carlisle had put some of my old clothes from a year ago in the bathroom, so I even had clean clothes for the first time in ages and I ignored the fact that they were too big.

I desperately needed a hit. Withdrawal wasn't going to kick in for some time but this whole situation was too much. I was too sober for it. It was completely overwhelming.

But there was no way Carlisle would let me go so soon. I did my best to prepare myself for meeting my twin and Alice and left the bathroom.

Carlisle was alone in the room. He had made the bed and now sat on it looking at me suspiciously.

"You took your time.", he said and I couldn't keep from rolling my eyes.

"Yeah well, it's been a while since my last shower.", I answered and looked at the sandwich questionably.

"Please eat!", Carlisle encouraged apparently happy with the fact that I wasn't high. I took the plate and walked towards the small table to eat.

"Rosalie will be here in 5 minutes.", Carlisle informed me and I nearly choked on the sandwich although I expected it.

"Don't you want to see her?", he asked sounding a bit disappointed.

I didn't answer. I didn't know how to answer. Carlisle sighed.

I had just finished my sandwich when someone knocked at the door and my head snapped towards it. Carlisle stood up to open it and gently put his hand on my shoulder while passing me. I flinched involuntarily.

He looked at me with so much hurt in his eyes that I wanted to hide under the blankets. He sighed again and opened the door.

Rose stood in the door looking like she had cried. She wasn't crying now but her eyes were red and puffy. I winced and pressed myself further into the chair. I was glad that the table was between me and the door.

Her eyes scanned the room until they fell on me. She looked so immensely relieved it made me uncomfortable and I avoided her eyes.

"Jasper...", she said gently and quietly and came towards me. I had to suppress the urge to get up from the chair and move away from her.

I didn't know why I was so uncomfortable and scared of her reaction. I wasn't able to show how much I've missed her. My hands were shaking and I wasn't sure of it was because of anxiety or the lack of drugs in my system.

Rose looked like she wanted to come running towards me and hug me, but she didn't. And I was thankful for that.

"I've missed you so much!", she said and I could hear the tears in her voice.

"I've missed you too.", I mumbled. I couldn't speak louder. I just couldn't.

"You look better now that you've showered.", Rose chuckled darkly. My head snapped up. When has she seen me before I showered? Probably while I was sleeping. I shot an accusing glare at Carlisle.

"You let her see me like that?", I hissed suddenly angry again.

"I wanted to see my brother!", Rose snapped before Carlisle could even open his mouth. "You just left! Again! And this time we didn't even get a goodbye! Do you know how that made me feel? You're not the only one here with issues! But you're the only one running away from them!"

I stared at her with big eyes and so did Carlisle. He opened his mouth to say something.

"Jasper, I love you! We all do! When will you finally get that into that thick skull of yours? With you leaving like that, twice, I get the feeling that you don't love us back!" She was crying again and I could feel tears in my own eyes. I blinked them away before anyone could see them.

"I do love you!", I yelled back not able to keep my voice down and stood up from the chair. I was still angry and anxious. The room felt too small all of a sudden and my breathing quickened.

Why did Carlisle think it was a good idea to just come her and lock me in a room with them? Did he really think that would help me in any way? 

"Well, that's hard to believe when you've abandoned me for the third time.", Rose mumbled. I stumbled back as if she pushed me.

"Rosalie!", Carlisle warned sternly before I could even think of what to say. I stared at my sister with my mouth hanging open and a single tear running down my cheek. She had said she didn't blame me for getting separated. 

The door opened again and Emmett quietly walked into the room. I moved further into the corner and pushed my hand through my hair. It was already too crowed in here.

“I heard shouting.”, he explained and went to stand behind Rose, gently touching her back. I raised an eyebrow.

"No.", I said shaking my head slowly after a moment and picked up the jacket that I remembered was mine that was placed on the bed.

"Where are you going?", Rose asked alarmed.

"I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you telling me what a terrible brother I am. Trust me, I already know!" I walked past her towards the door, but Carlisle blocked my way out.

"Jasper, wait! Let's talk about this calmly."

Dr Carlisle Cullen, always the voice of reason.

"Talk about what?", I hissed turning around and throwing my arms up.

"We want you to come home with us.", he answered with a smile.

"Oh of course! Let me get my things!", I said sarcastically. Emmett chuckled. 

"There's no reason to get mean.", Rosalie hissed behind me.

"What makes you think I even want to come with you?", I asked ignoring her.

I really really wanted to but that wasn't the point. I just hoped they wouldn't see through my bluff. Honestly, I didn't even know myself why I was acting like that. I guess the prospect of giving up drugs was too much for me at the time.

"Really?", Carlisle asked me with a strange look in his eyes.

No!

"Yes."

Jasper you idiot!

"I don't believe you.", he said.

"Yeah well what else is new.", I hissed before I could stop myself. Carlisle winced. "I'm an adult. You can't make me come with you and you won't blackmail me into it either this time."

"No one ever blackmailed you!", Rose snapped behind me. I didn't answer her. Instead I looked at Carlisle and raised an eyebrow. He winced again.

"What is he talking about, Carlisle?", she asked him sounding suspicious now.

"I threatened I'd call CPS on Peter and Charlotte when I picked him up in Aberdeen so he would come with me.", he admitted.

"Carlisle!", Rose gasped.

"I was bluffing!", he defended and I rolled my eyes.

"That doesn't matter! How would you feel if Jasper threatened Esme?", Rose asked angrily.

Why is she suddenly on my side again?

I turned to leave again and actually managed to open the door and nearly collided with a person on the other side. I froze in my tracks.

Alice stood in the hallway one hand raised as if she wanted to knock.

"Jasper!", she said and her eyes filled with tears. It almost physically hurt me to see her cry. It almost physically hurt me to see her in general.

I felt my anger leaving again by just looking at her.

"Alice!", I said like the total idiot I was. She was carrying a book and another sandwich.

I wanted to touch her. I wanted to hold her. And at the same time, I didn't want to see her at all. I was scared of what she had to say. That she moved on and now had the boyfriend she deserved. That she hated me.

"Where are you going?", she asked me quietly with worry in her voice. I didn't know what to answer.

"He wants to leave. Again.", Rose answered for me in a dry voice.

"No!", Alice said angrily and pulled me back into the room. I didn't fight her. I was never able to fight her.

She pushed me down into the chair again and placed the sandwich in front of me.

"Eat!"

"I just ate."

"I don't care. You're skinny. Eat!"

So, I ate. I hadn't even noticed that I was still hungry. No one said a word. They just watched me eat which was really uncomfortable.

"Could you please stop that?", I eventually said.

"Stop what?", Carlisle asked.

"Looking at me like I'm going to disappear into thin air! It's making me uncomfortable." And I'm already anxious to begin with.

I didn't say the last part.

When I was finished eating, I looked at the book Alice place on the table.

'The American Civil War'

I smiled and when I looked up, I could see both Alice and Rose smiling as well.

"Please Jasper! Come home with us. We just want to help you.", Alice pleaded with big eyes. My smile disappeared again. I almost, almost snapped at her. But thankfully I didn't.

Instead I just shook my head and for the first time since she came into the room looked directly into her eyes.

"I'm sorry.", I whispered. I couldn't practically see her heart break.

"So what?", Rosalie asked angrily and I winced again. "You're just going to go back to being homeless on the streets until you die somewhere face down in a puddle?"

"Rosalie!", Carlisle warned her again. "I don't think this is helping."

"I'm just honest!", she snapped.

"No! You are yelling at your brother. I understand that you're angry but taking it out on him isn't helping, is it?", he reasoned.

"She has every right to do it, though.", I said. "After all, she hasn't said anything that isn't true." Rose paled slightly. I got up again. "And by the way, none of this is helping. It's overwhelming!"

"Jasper please!", Alice cried.

"I have to think things through. I'm sorry. This is all too much.", I said and pushed my shaking hand through my damp hair.

"You can think here!", Alice offered. I smiled sadly at her and shook my head.

"I'm not going to just let you go. At least wait until tomorrow.", Carlisle said.

"He's going to stay!", Rosalie decided.

"That's not your decision to make! I'm my own person. You can't make me do whatever you want to anymore!", I hissed.

"You. Are. Staying!", she said between clenched teeth glaring at me.

"Please." Alice looked at me with huge eyes and gently lay her hand on my chest. I didn't flinch.

"Ok.", I whispered. "Only until tomorrow."

"We'll see about that tomorrow."

None of them would leave me alone the rest of the day. Rose was still angry and Carlisle send her out to calm down. Alice decided to stay in the room with me and Carlisle.

Carlisle picked up the bag that was standing on the floor next to the door once Alice left to get more to eat. He pulled out bandages and salves.

"Roll up your sleeves please.", he said and I took a step back.

"Why?"

"Some of your track marks are infected. I don't want you to get a fever. So please let me do something about it.", he explained.

"I'm fine.", I replied holding my arms close to my chest.

"Jasper, I'm not going to hurt you. Please let me do this. Before Alice comes back.", he pleaded. To be honest, I didn't really know how bad they were. I hardly ever looked at them.

I sighed and reluctantly rolled up my sleeves. There were dozens of them. Some old, some new, some reused and some angry looking.

I looked away while Carlisle was working. It hurt but it was almost a pleasant pain, distracting me from my cravings for a moment. When he was finished, he bandaged up my arms and I pulled my sleeves back down just as Alice opened the door again.

"What happened?", she asked alarmed when she caught a glimpse of the bandages.

"Nothing. Don't worry.", Carlisle reassured and she didn't ask again.

I felt trapped. Like an animal in a cage. And on top of that they treated me like one. Like I was some feral animal that could lash out at any moment.  
I wasn't sure which I preferred. Rosalie yelling at me or Carlisle and Alice only speaking in nice, quiet sentences like I would burst into tears otherwise. Both sucked.

Soon my hands started shaking more and more and I got a piercing headache. I felt like my veins were itching. Like hundreds of tiny insects were crawling under my skin. I really needed a hit before withdrawal got even worse.

Carlisle of course noticed. He looked at me with pity in his eyes and offered to help me through it. I just shook my head and rolled up on the bed.

Alice kept a distance between us all the time, careful not to come to close. Again, I felt like my mind pulled me in two different directions. One part wanted her to come close, wanted to touch her and hold her. The other part wanted her to stay away.

I pressed my eyes shut to keep out the light that was making my headache worse and curled up more.

I heard Alice whispering something to Carlisle, but I couldn't bring up the energy to listen. There was some shuffling and suddenly a wet and cool cloth was gently tapped onto my forehead. I flinched but didn't open my eyes.

"Shh. It's just me.", Alice whispered gently and I felt myself relaxing.

I felt drained, not just physically but also emotionally but sleep wouldn't come. But I also couldn't open my eyes. At one point I could hear the door. I guessed Carlisle must have left.

"Jasper?", Alice asked after a while.

"Hmm?"

"Don't be mad at Rosalie. She's just hurt and she missed you very much.", she whispered. I groaned and opened my eyes with difficulties to look at her.

"I'm not mad.", I mumbled. I shifted on the bed until my back was leaning against the headboard.

"She just doesn't understand. None of us do.", she said and I suppressed another groan.

"Alice, I won't have this conversation now."

"Ok." There was a pause and I was about to close my eyes again.

"I brought a movie. Is it okay if we watch it or do you want to sleep?", Alice asked eventually.

"I can't sleep anyway.", I shrugged and she smiled a tiny smile and got up. While she put on the movie on her MacBook, I curled up again and fought the urge to close my eyes.

But halfway through the movie I decided I was just going to listen to it. After a while I heard Alice’s breathing even out and when I opened my eyes again, she was asleep.

I hated myself for it, but I got up from the bed as carefully as I could and quietly walked to the door, grabbing the key card on the way. I wasn't planning on leaving again. I was going to come back, but withdrawal wasn't an option for me. I needed a hit and then I would come back and sleep it off. It would be like I never left. I quietly closed the door behind me.

I sat down behind a dumpster and rolled up my left sleeve after I scored of some random dealer not far from the hotel. I hesitated for a few seconds upon seeing the bandage around my arm before I removed it carefully. I hesitated one last time before I pushed the needle under my skin. 

It washed over me instantly. Our maybe everything washed out of me. Every pain, every itch and anxiety were replaced by a glorious feeling of bliss. I vaguely felt myself slumping against the wall behind me, my head rolling back and my eyes with it.

I lazily played with the bandage still loosely hanging from my arm. I sat there for a while unable to move simply enjoying my high.

When the first rush died down, I unsteadily got back to my feet and tried my best to reapply the bandage. That was pretty difficult with fingers that felt like jelly. 

Once I was done, I started walking back to the hotel which was thankfully not very far away. I was planning on sneaking back into the room and just enjoy my high before falling asleep. No one would know.

But when I came back the room was brightly lit and Carlisle, Rose and Alice were discussing something. They stopped abruptly when I opened the door and looked at me with a mix of relief and disappointment.

‘Shit!’

"Where have you been?!", Carlisle asked alarmed.

"I was just out to smoke.", I lied putting a lot of effort in my speech. It didn't work.

"You're high!", Alice screeched and I shrugged.

"Jasper! Why did you do that?", Carlisle asked calmly. I just shrugged again and sat down on the bed. I never said I wouldn't use. I just said I wouldn't leave until tomorrow and technically I didn't since I came back.

"Jasper?"

"Hmm?", I asked and opened my eyes. When did I close them?

"You haven't answered my question.", Carlisle pressed.

"I don't know what you want to hear. I never said I wanted to stop.", I slurred and closed my eyes again. I could hear Alice cry. I hated putting her through this. I made her cry.

"Then why bother?", someone asked and I opened my eyes to see Peter standing in the door glaring at me. He looked more mature and his hair was a bit longer.

‘When did he get here?’

"About an hour ago. Carlisle called saying that he found you.", Peter answered my question and I frowned. Had I said that out loud?

"Why bother and even come back here if you don't want to stop?", Peter asked again.

"How's Charlotte?", I asked avoiding the question.

"Charlotte's fine. You on the other hand look like shit.", Peter said dryly. I shrugged again and chuckled darkly. No one said anything for a few seconds.

"I can't stop. I- I just- I need it.", I whispered.

"No, Jasper. I can get you the help you need.", Carlisle said calmly and sat down on the bed next to me. I shook my head forcefully.

"No! You don't understand. I can't sleep without it! I can't- I can't live like that! Always flinching when someone wants to touch me! I can't stay calm!"

"Jasper you don't have to live like that! Let us help you! We're here for you!", Alice cried and took my hands. I looked at her for a few seconds.

"Why?"

"Because that's what family is for.", Rose said for the first time since I came back.

I didn't say anything for a long time. Eventually I nodded.

"Okay"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will probably only be two or three more chapters and then I'm done torturing Jasper.
> 
> Please review and tell me what you think. Until next time :)


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Carlisle POV

Getting Jasper through withdrawal was as difficult as I thought it would be. He changed his mind about getting clean at least 7 times.

It was hurtful seeing him like that. The first three days we were hardly able to get him out of the bathroom because he was sick all the time. I soon grew worried he might get dehydrated. We agreed on giving him fluids intravenously which proved to be a great working.

At first, we were worried he would run if we left him alone but we soon noticed that he could hardly bring up the energy to sit. He didn't sleep though.

There was still someone with him almost 24/7. Either Esme, Peter or me we're constantly with him.

When Esme first came into the room Jasper was just coming down from his high. He dropped his eyes when he saw her shame written all over his face. She sat down next to him on the bed and he tensed up.

She ignored that, though and slowly pulled him into a hug. That seemed to be too much for him and Jasper started to cry.

"I'm so sorry!", he mumbled over and over again. Esme only pulled him closer and whisper what I assumed reassurance into his ear.

Emmett completely ignored the tension that was in the room when he came. He just pretended like nothing had ever happened and managed to make Jasper smile from time to time with his comments.

On the third day I returned to the hotel room after grocery shopping to find Jasper alone, lying on his side on the bathroom floor. I dropped the bags and was next to him instantly.

"Jasper!?", I yelled and already had my fingers on his pulse point.

"Hm?", he asked but didn't open his eyes. His pulse was strong and steady.

"Are you alright?"

"Mhm... 'is great... almost like sleeping...", Jasper mumbled quietly.

"Where's Peter?", I asked a bit calmer now.

"He was annoying. Told him to fuck off.", he said a bit louder. I chuckled quietly and relaxed. Sitting down on the floor I started rubbing small circles on his back. Jasper sighed and relaxed completely. How this position was in any way comfortable I did not know and I really didn't want to try it.

After a few minutes I got back up and pulled Jasper with me.

"Noooo.", he whined but cooperated enough that I could bring him to the bed.

"Come on. Let's try if you can eat something.", I coaxed and sat him down on the bed. Jasper flopped down on it and curled up burying his face in the pillow.

"I'm not hungry.", he said more into the pillow than to me.

"Let's try anyway. Esme cooked.", I said and he groaned. But the prospect of Esme's cooking seemed to wake him enough that he uncurled himself and sat up straighter. He looked so tired and pale I winced a bit.

Jasper managed to eat have a piece of toast and some broth and I counted that as a success because all of it stayed were it belonged.

Those were the good hours.

In the bad ones he was shouting and begging for a hit. He insulted everything in sight and I had to hold him down before he accidentally (or purposely) hurt himself. Crying and screaming himself sore until he had no energy to fight anymore.

Then the depression kicked in and he wouldn't speak at all. He became almost catatonic and I had to coax him into reacting to something at all. Esme managed to pull him out of it twice and Alice once but mostly cigarettes motivated him to move and react to something.

At first, we tried to get him to stop smoking as well but that soon proved to be unhelpful. Jasper insisted on smoking. It calmed him down and I soon noticed it was the only thing that could really pull him out of his semi catatonic state.

So quitting smoking was a battle for another time.

When the worst of detox was over Jasper slept for 26 hours straight. I was starting to get worried, but he then finally woke up.

He looked better and for the first time in days he even looked like he was almost okay. And he ate two plates of Esme's homemade pasta.

We all moved back to Forks after that and started our routine again. Rosalie and Emmett went back to college but visiting every weekend, Edward and Bella continued planning their wedding and Alice started working on her own fashion line.

Jasper didn't leave the house in the first few weeks. He only went outside to smoke. The rest of his time he spent in his room or in the library. He hardly ever spoke to any of us. He hardly ever spoke period. And if he did only when asked and in one-word sentences.

He didn't sleep either. He looked constantly exhausted. Dark circles were under his eyes and I caught him zoning out all the time.

Esme started giving him chores to do around the house which he did without complaining once. It was obvious though that he wasn't able to concentrate very well. One day he cut his hand while doing some gardening for Esme. He didn't say anything, he just showed me his bleeding hand. It ended up needing stitches and Jasper didn't make one sound the whole time. He didn't even flinch.

Alice started using him as a model for her fashion line and he let her. He seemed to enjoy being close to her, but he also kept his distance. And of course, she noticed. She tried and tried to get him to participate more but he mostly shrugged and eventually she gave up.

Soon I refused to bring him cigarettes and told him of he wanted some he should go and get them himself. So that's what he did. He went out and came home 20 minutes later with enough cigarettes for a week.

I somehow hoped that by showing him that we trusted him enough to go into town alone he would open up but that sadly wasn't the case.

And one day, when I came home from work, I found him in his room, passed out on his bed and an empty bottle of whiskey in his hand.

That meant that he had now lost his going-into-town-alone-privilege. I didn't even try to wake him up. I just rolled him on the side into the recovery position and let him sleep it off.

It was a setback and also the last push I needed.

The next morning, I waited until Jasper woke up. Which took some time. At 11am he finally made an appearance in the kitchen. Everyone else had left at that point so he didn't even try to hide his hangover. And usually I would be at work as well. I wondered g how often he had done that before. 

He jumped when he saw me sitting in a chair on the dining room.

"Jesus! Carlisle, I didn't see you there!", he yelped. That was actually the most he had spoken in days with the most vocal variation in weeks.

"Rough night?", I asked raising an eyebrow. He paled. "Jasper, this isn't acceptable."

"What do you mean?", I asked completely indifferent again.

"I found you yesterday.", I stated. He paled even further.

"Oh."

"Was it the first time?", I asked. He just nodded. Not very believable though. "Was it?"

"No.", he admitted and hung his head. I sighed.

"Was it only alcohol or something else as well?", I pressed.

"Just alcohol.", Jasper whispered.

"Okay.", I said and got up. " I think it's time that you and I have a long talk." Jasper paled slightly and hung his head again.

We went upstairs to my office and Jasper sat down on the couch and drew his knees up to his chest.

"I think therapy would be a good idea.", I started. Jasper's head snapped up and he looked at me with frightened eyes.

"There's nothing to be afraid of.", I reassured him. "Alice and Rosalie went to therapy as well. I'm sure they told you."

Jasper didn't answer. He looked away again and started looking at his hands.

"They could really help you, Jasper. Not just with the cravings-" He flinched at that. "-but also, with the nightmares, the depression and the anxiety."

"I-", he started and the closed his mouth again.

"Go on!", I coaxed and he took a deep breath.

"I don't want you to waste your money on me.", he whispered.

"I'm not wasting my money on you! I would pay all the money in the world to help my children and Jasper, you are as much my son as Edward and Emmett are.", I said with a thick voice. Jasper had a single tear running down his cheek.

"I feel like I'm wasting all of your time. I'm a lost cause. I feel like sooner or later I will go back to it. I feel like I'm just waiting for it to happen.", he said crying freely now. "I don't understand how you all still have so much faith in me. Why don't you hate me? I'm a mess up, a junkie, a fucking waste of space. I don't understand why you still want me in your life! I- I’m dirty." 

I was unable to answer. Was that really how he felt? He was crying harder now.

This all didn't make sense. Maybe Jasper really was that sensitive (there was nothing wrong about that after all) but I had a feeling something else was going on. And at first, I thought it was something that had happened in that one year. Because we still didn't know what exactly Jasper had been doing then.

But over the course of last weeks I had started to get a suspicion. Because Jasper had been acting like that before as well. Although not this strongly.

I swallowed before I could bring myself to ask the one question, I didn't want to know the answer to.

"Jim didn't just beat you, did he?"

Jasper's reaction was answer enough. His head snapped up and he jumped up from the couch pressing himself into the corner. He stared at me with giant frightened eyes, tears streaming down his face.

I closed my eyes for a second. Sometimes I hated being right.

"N-no! I- he- no-!", Jasper stammered slowly sinking to the ground. His breath came in quick small gasps and he started pulling at his hair.

"Woah! Jasper, it's alright!", I said quickly making my way over to him. He flinched away from me raising his arms over his head protectively.

"No please! Please don't!", he yelped and cowered away from me.

I didn't mean to cause a flashback. I grabbed his arms and removed them from his face. Then I took his face into both of my hands and forced him to look at me.

"Jasper! Look at me!", I ordered. His eyes were open, but he didn't focus on me. His eyes seemed distant.

"Jasper!", I said and gently shook him. He whimpered. "Look at me! It's okay!"

He slowly started to focus on me and when he finally seemed like he was back with me more tears started streaming down his face.

"Carlisle...", he whimpered. I pulled him into a hug and surprisingly he let me. He sobbed for a few more minutes before he finally calmed down.

Therapy it is then.

After that, Jasper wasn't hard to convince to give therapy a try. I scheduled two sessions per week at first with a local therapist I knew.

Of course, he changed his mind multiple times. He was scared to open up. Especially to strangers.

Which meant I had to practically force him to go in the beginning. But after a few weeks he went on his own. He still didn't talk to us. At least not over the important things.

He still spent most of his time alone in his room.

But after a while, Jasper slowly but surely came out of his shell.

He started talking to us again, he went outside and he even smiled on a regular basis. He spent the weekends with Rosalie going to the beach or to museums.

Alice and Jasper got closer again as well. She finally got him to participate in her fashion line and he would often speak his mind about the clothes she forced on him. He even started joking around again.

When Peter and Charlotte came to visit, he smiled and laughed with his best friends.

Charlotte came to me one evening and hugged me.

"Thank you!", she whispered. "Thank you for giving me my brother back."

When we sat down for dinner that night I Rosalie wanted to take a picture for her to take back to college.

When I printed it out in my office I smiled down at the picture of my family.

Everything was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and please tell me what you thought.
> 
> Until next time :)


	23. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just post 5 chapters at once? Oh yes, apparently I did :)

Epilogue 

Carlisle POV

Jasper relapsed twice.

The first time was when we decided to press charges against Jim and Maria.

It was a long process but eventually we had to show up for trial.

And seeing his abuser, his rapist again was too much for Jasper. He kept quiet during the trial only answering questions when asked.

His face was completely emotionless as was his voice. He refused to look at Jim but when the man was called to speak their eyes met.

I watched in horror as Jasper's eyes widened and his breath quickened. I wanted to go up there and punch Jim for breaking my son like that but of course I couldn't do that.

Jim was charged guilty for rape, abuse and neglect and sentenced to 12 years in prison. We all sighed collectively relieved that he couldn't hurt anyone anymore. Jasper however just stared ahead, an empty look in his eyes.

After the trial Jasper said he needed some time for himself and that we should go ahead without us. He would be home for dinner.

He wasn't.

Jasper didn't come home that night but the next morning, when I got up, he was curled up in the corner of the couch.

"Jasper?", I asked cautiously and he slowly raised his head. He had been crying that much was obvious, but the worst thing was the unfocused and glassy look in his eyes.

"Oh, Jasper...", I whispered and sat down next to him. I pulled him closer and he collapsed against me.

"I'm so sorry!", he slurred. "I didn't- I couldn't think! I- I had-"

"Shh! It's going to be alright.", I comforted while rubbing circles on his back. I could feel the silent sobs he made and hugged him even closer.

"I'm sorry!", he cried between sobs until he fell asleep.

We of course helped him through withdrawal again. And this time he didn't change his mind once. He was just frustrated and angry at himself for, and I quote, "being this fucking stupid."

The second one came half a year later. And personally, didn't count it as a relapse because it wasn't Jasper's fault. He on the other hand did.

He had started working in one of the wood factories in Forks while he was working on finishing high school in the evenings. One day there was an accident with one of the saws and Jasper nearly lost his hand. He fell unconscious in the ambulance and when he woke up in the hospital he was already drugged.

I had been sitting next to his bed for 2 hours waiting for him to wake up. I knew how he would most certainly react once he realized what had happened and I wanted to be there for him.

I was frustrated to say the least. He had been doing so well and now he had to start over again. Just because my own staff hadn't read his file before giving him something for the pain.

For the second time!

When he opened his eyes, he stared at the ceiling for a few seconds and then his eyes widened in panic. He sat up and when he spotted me next to him, he panicked even more.

"Carlisle, I-", he started but I interrupted.

"I know you didn't take anything. I'm sorry. I wasn't fast enough to stop them.", I said and saw him relax slightly. We were silent for a few minutes.

"I have a strange feeling of deja vu.", Jasper mumbled eventually and I chuckled quietly.

"Just don't run away again.", I joked darkly and he laughed.

"Yeah well, that didn't work out too good for me the last time, did it?", he laughed. We were silent again until he spoke again.

"You know what really pisses me of?", he asked all the humour gone from his voice. "That I now have to be sick for a week again."

"You're not alone, though.", I said reassuringly. "And what alternative is there?"

"None. That's the point. I'm just so sick of constantly failing.", he sighed and stared back up at the ceiling.

"You didn't fail. Failing would be giving up. And you're not giving up, are you?", I asked him trying not to sound worried. He snorted.

"Of course not! I'm just tired."

He fell asleep again soon after that. He had to stay at the hospital for another day and then went back home with us to once again detox.

And that was the last time he relapsed. He stayed sober after that.

Edward and Bella married 2 months after the trial. And soon they surprised us with a new family member. Renesme was a healthy little girl. They moved into the small house in the woods on our property they had been renovating.

Rosalie and Emmett got married in secret in Las Vegas during spring break and didn't tell us for 5 months. Of course, we all were happy for them but especially Alice was hurt that she didn't get to be a bridesmaid again.

We celebrated anyway. Just a small celebration with family but Rosalie did invite Peter and Charlotte.

The two of them where doing pretty good as well. Peter was currently finishing an internship at CPS. He said he wanted to prevent other children being treated like Jasper and he were.

Charlotte made it into a great college after getting her high school diploma and was studying hard to make it into med school.

Alice's fashion line was successful and she travelled a lot to promote it. But most days she was in Forks. She worked tirelessly on new pieces for her collection but her free time she spent with Jasper.

They were a couple again even though Alice argued that they had technically never broken up in the first place. And Jasper just smiled when she said that clearly disagreeing but not telling her that. They had rented a small house not too far away from Esme and me. 

Jasper still had issues of course. But he went to therapy regularly, he was working and he stayed sober.

Alice made him happy and Jasper made her happy. And that was what mattered the most in the end.

Even though all my children had all left the house they were never far away.

And at least once a month, for dinner, they came home.

The End


End file.
